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Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Dear Dad...You Ruined My Sex Life!
That just sounds nasty, doesn't it?
But seriously, I'm watching "Tough Love" on VH1, you know the show with all the women who can't catch or keep a man? Their issues run the gamut: Ms Low Self Esteem, Ms Gold Digger, Ms Single Mom/Strip Chick(of course), Ms Career Obsessed, Ms Wedding Belle, etc etc.
Steve had all the ladies write these open letters to their fathers, and I swear, no matter what their hangup was, they'd have you believe that all their issues with men trace back to their dads.
"Dad you abandoned me." or "Dad you were passive and weak" or whatever the case may be.
To be quite honest, I have hang ups with my Dad too...and that's a whole 'nother post. One of the most important things a father should do is put his daughters on game. There are 3 of us...and I can guarantee that anything we learned, it was through trial and error...or from peers. And there's no reason for that, if you were raised by your dad. But sumwhere around that age when I was old enuf to...have kids, I'll put it like that, that's right about when I think he stopped knowing how to talk to me...and we still don't talk much now. Funny enuf, he asked me like a month ago why I tell my mom everything and never tell him...and well, I don't tell her that much either. But again, that's a whole nother story.
But I just feel like whatever issues I have with my dad are mainly with him...not with every man I'll ever interact with from now on as a result. So really, I guess I wanna know...is there REALLY a direct correlation btw the type of father you have (or don't have) and your relationships? And I don't mean just for black women, I mean for all women. Cuz let's be honest: some of y'all hav sum triflin mamas. Women who use men, or every week you got a new Uncle SOandSO. Look at Kim from "Real Housewives of Atlanta." What kinda example is she setting for her girls?
Seriously, I'd probably have done much better by now had my dad been the navigator he was supposed to be...but at the end of the day, if I start stripping or if I get a divorce, or even if I never get married, I'm not gonna blame it on him. And I think it's a lil cliche that dad is now the fall back excuse for everything that goes wrong in a girl's life.
But seriously, I'm watching "Tough Love" on VH1, you know the show with all the women who can't catch or keep a man? Their issues run the gamut: Ms Low Self Esteem, Ms Gold Digger, Ms Single Mom/Strip Chick(of course), Ms Career Obsessed, Ms Wedding Belle, etc etc.
Steve had all the ladies write these open letters to their fathers, and I swear, no matter what their hangup was, they'd have you believe that all their issues with men trace back to their dads.
"Dad you abandoned me." or "Dad you were passive and weak" or whatever the case may be.
To be quite honest, I have hang ups with my Dad too...and that's a whole 'nother post. One of the most important things a father should do is put his daughters on game. There are 3 of us...and I can guarantee that anything we learned, it was through trial and error...or from peers. And there's no reason for that, if you were raised by your dad. But sumwhere around that age when I was old enuf to...have kids, I'll put it like that, that's right about when I think he stopped knowing how to talk to me...and we still don't talk much now. Funny enuf, he asked me like a month ago why I tell my mom everything and never tell him...and well, I don't tell her that much either. But again, that's a whole nother story.
But I just feel like whatever issues I have with my dad are mainly with him...not with every man I'll ever interact with from now on as a result. So really, I guess I wanna know...is there REALLY a direct correlation btw the type of father you have (or don't have) and your relationships? And I don't mean just for black women, I mean for all women. Cuz let's be honest: some of y'all hav sum triflin mamas. Women who use men, or every week you got a new Uncle SOandSO. Look at Kim from "Real Housewives of Atlanta." What kinda example is she setting for her girls?
Seriously, I'd probably have done much better by now had my dad been the navigator he was supposed to be...but at the end of the day, if I start stripping or if I get a divorce, or even if I never get married, I'm not gonna blame it on him. And I think it's a lil cliche that dad is now the fall back excuse for everything that goes wrong in a girl's life.
Nice Guys, Here's Your Mascot
I hear over and over again about how hard it is out here for the "nice guys." All girls want thugs. No one wants a nice guy, blah blah blah. There's truth to that, and I empathize with you. I had my ignorant 'thug love' phase for a minute, too.
But guys, I have one example that speaks against all that. This specimen right here:
Because trust me, 10 out of 10 ladies would be quick to catapult the panties at this one. And let's really look at who he is. In season one of "The Game" aka the best show on television, Derwin Davis was established as a NICE, SWEET, NAIVE, INNOCENT, BOTTOM-OF-THE-TOTEM POLE ROOKIE AND CHURCH BOY. Totally in love with his girl, totally unaware when he was being used and disrespected, just bright-eyed, hard-working and happy to be playing football. And out of Malik, Jason and whoever else, Derwin "Ding Dong" Davis was clearly the favorite. You loved his big, brown eyes (that seemed to be so trustworthy). Loved his dedication and even his cheesiness, cuz let's face it, Derwin was very corny.
Of course, there were times his character started to feel himself a little bit as time went on. But it caught you off guard, like, "Whoa, look at Derwin gettin all saucy! Whaaaat?!" Almost made you a lil proud to see him stand up for himself, too. And because he was such a nice guy, the Drew Sidora thing totally BROKE our hearts. We believed in him, wanted him to be different. I never forgave him for that, honestly. But I still have to admit, he wasn't intending to hurt anyone. Even his cheating had an air of innocence, like he didn't know he was sliding down a slippery slope. (If I see Drew Sidora, I swear ima purrnch her in the face!)
But I just say all that to say, that yes, guys....we all want Derwin. And he is "the good guy." So perhaps with the emergence of a character like him, you might see a shift in the kinds of guys we celebrate as desirable. Or even the kind of guy we look at twice. (But I must say, if your good guy doesn't look like this one, then that may be part of the reason you aren't catching bees with your honey.)
AND OH - LADIES! HE REALLY IS THAT WAY IN REAL LIFE. NICE GUY, GOOD ENERGY,REAL GOOFY GUY, REAL GENUINE.
But guys, I have one example that speaks against all that. This specimen right here:
Because trust me, 10 out of 10 ladies would be quick to catapult the panties at this one. And let's really look at who he is. In season one of "The Game" aka the best show on television, Derwin Davis was established as a NICE, SWEET, NAIVE, INNOCENT, BOTTOM-OF-THE-TOTEM POLE ROOKIE AND CHURCH BOY. Totally in love with his girl, totally unaware when he was being used and disrespected, just bright-eyed, hard-working and happy to be playing football. And out of Malik, Jason and whoever else, Derwin "Ding Dong" Davis was clearly the favorite. You loved his big, brown eyes (that seemed to be so trustworthy). Loved his dedication and even his cheesiness, cuz let's face it, Derwin was very corny.
Of course, there were times his character started to feel himself a little bit as time went on. But it caught you off guard, like, "Whoa, look at Derwin gettin all saucy! Whaaaat?!" Almost made you a lil proud to see him stand up for himself, too. And because he was such a nice guy, the Drew Sidora thing totally BROKE our hearts. We believed in him, wanted him to be different. I never forgave him for that, honestly. But I still have to admit, he wasn't intending to hurt anyone. Even his cheating had an air of innocence, like he didn't know he was sliding down a slippery slope. (If I see Drew Sidora, I swear ima purrnch her in the face!)
But I just say all that to say, that yes, guys....we all want Derwin. And he is "the good guy." So perhaps with the emergence of a character like him, you might see a shift in the kinds of guys we celebrate as desirable. Or even the kind of guy we look at twice. (But I must say, if your good guy doesn't look like this one, then that may be part of the reason you aren't catching bees with your honey.)
AND OH - LADIES! HE REALLY IS THAT WAY IN REAL LIFE. NICE GUY, GOOD ENERGY,REAL GOOFY GUY, REAL GENUINE.
Who Gon Buy Me This for Christmas?
Mr. Robin Thicke...doing some different things this time around...like wearing gray in addition to his usual all black and white. Like makin songs with...Game, Nicki Minaj - and Estelle. Like...actually DANCING!
The album came out Dec. 15th. I'll give you my address and you can send me copy of it, please and thank you.
In the meantime, here's the video for "Sex Therapy." Unfortunately, I can't have any of that for a while...but I'd settle for a couple drinks at this point.
And here's "Diamonds" feat the Game. (Whom I dislike...except for on this song)
The album came out Dec. 15th. I'll give you my address and you can send me copy of it, please and thank you.
In the meantime, here's the video for "Sex Therapy." Unfortunately, I can't have any of that for a while...but I'd settle for a couple drinks at this point.
And here's "Diamonds" feat the Game. (Whom I dislike...except for on this song)
What God Has For Me
Yall know how it goes...
I've been jobless since the first week of November. I've been interning, yes. But cash flow? No. The plan was to intern during the day and work part-time at night...well, how many of us know things rarely go the way we plan?
Twice I missed calls from jobs at the mall. Once I got a job, but it just didn't look like it would be profitable. I shot myself in the foot with that one. Another job was for a man with a tiny ass restaurant/bar, but wanted you to jump thru hoops like "I Want to Work for Diddy." My job at home was trying to help me transfer to a store down here...but everyone involved was on sum bs, as in, they weren't "sure about the transfer process." The manager at the store down here has been telling me to call every single day to "check on the status." My interview was like 3 weeks ago. Another interview was successful, but the interviewer told me to call back on Monday and speak to suchandsuch. Such and such was supposed to interview me in the first place...but she didn't show up. Apparently, she's never there when I call or come by, and she's also far too busy to call back. And so forth and so on.
Well, I'd just about determined that online applications were a time-consuming game of odds that I was just about done with. But then I went to apply at TJ Maxx, and wound up walking in the store next door afterward. The nice young lady at the door said they were hiring for holiday help and beyond, and they were looking thru the apps rite now, but I had to go to ulta.com and search for store XXX and apply. I went home and did it, just for shoots and giggles. And....would you believe it? Some1 called me back literally an hour later. My interview was today at 11 a.m.
I get up, get dressed, about to head out the door early because it was POURING rain today, when all of a sudden, long story short-I was asked to watch the baby until his mom returned in a few minutes. Raise your hand if you know, it wasn't a few minutes, lol. I wound up getting to the interview 10 minutes late, with a toddler in tow. The manager was already in the midst of a group interview, so me and the kid hung out for an hour until she was done. PRAISE the LORD GOD, she happened to be the most understanding person in America. And at 3 p.m., she called me and told me to come back Sunday to fill out my new hire paperwork!
But wait...there's more! A few minutes later, one of those mall jobs that I had previously missed out on in early November called me again. And she asked me to come to an interview tomorrow morning! Granted, it's not a Fortune 500 company, but if I can be late to an interview and have a baby with me and still get the job, it's enough of a small miracle to keep me holding on and looking up!
A friend of mine said he could feel that I would get sumthing this week. He coulda been joking. But that was Monday, and here it is Friday, and I go from nothing to something in one day!
I've been jobless since the first week of November. I've been interning, yes. But cash flow? No. The plan was to intern during the day and work part-time at night...well, how many of us know things rarely go the way we plan?
Twice I missed calls from jobs at the mall. Once I got a job, but it just didn't look like it would be profitable. I shot myself in the foot with that one. Another job was for a man with a tiny ass restaurant/bar, but wanted you to jump thru hoops like "I Want to Work for Diddy." My job at home was trying to help me transfer to a store down here...but everyone involved was on sum bs, as in, they weren't "sure about the transfer process." The manager at the store down here has been telling me to call every single day to "check on the status." My interview was like 3 weeks ago. Another interview was successful, but the interviewer told me to call back on Monday and speak to suchandsuch. Such and such was supposed to interview me in the first place...but she didn't show up. Apparently, she's never there when I call or come by, and she's also far too busy to call back. And so forth and so on.
Well, I'd just about determined that online applications were a time-consuming game of odds that I was just about done with. But then I went to apply at TJ Maxx, and wound up walking in the store next door afterward. The nice young lady at the door said they were hiring for holiday help and beyond, and they were looking thru the apps rite now, but I had to go to ulta.com and search for store XXX and apply. I went home and did it, just for shoots and giggles. And....would you believe it? Some1 called me back literally an hour later. My interview was today at 11 a.m.
I get up, get dressed, about to head out the door early because it was POURING rain today, when all of a sudden, long story short-I was asked to watch the baby until his mom returned in a few minutes. Raise your hand if you know, it wasn't a few minutes, lol. I wound up getting to the interview 10 minutes late, with a toddler in tow. The manager was already in the midst of a group interview, so me and the kid hung out for an hour until she was done. PRAISE the LORD GOD, she happened to be the most understanding person in America. And at 3 p.m., she called me and told me to come back Sunday to fill out my new hire paperwork!
But wait...there's more! A few minutes later, one of those mall jobs that I had previously missed out on in early November called me again. And she asked me to come to an interview tomorrow morning! Granted, it's not a Fortune 500 company, but if I can be late to an interview and have a baby with me and still get the job, it's enough of a small miracle to keep me holding on and looking up!
A friend of mine said he could feel that I would get sumthing this week. He coulda been joking. But that was Monday, and here it is Friday, and I go from nothing to something in one day!
I Wish I Was Making This Up
Boys and girls,
I've been fortunate enough to be staying rent-free with extended family for the past month. And this house is full of kids! I'm having a good time being here, so grateful they opened their doors...but as you know, "Kids say the darndest things." For the sake of brevity, here's just a couple:
So a while ago I walk in the house at about 9:30 p.m. (And I think this was one of the days where I left my internship early .) The 4-year-old was concentrating on trying to fold a blanket, but he looks up and says, "You be comin in this house too late."
I had to ask. "What time am I supposed to come in?"
He goes, "Prolly bout like...bout like..2:30."
cool...cool...
A couple days ago my cousin asks me to watch the youngest child while he stepped out for a minute. As soon as he leaves, the 2-year-old starts trying to put on his shoes so he can leave too. I said, "You can't go outside."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No sir. You cannot. No!"
He said, "You being bad."
I'm like, whoa...cuz clearly it's the other way around. So I had to get clarification. I said, "Who being bad??"
This man says, "YOU being bad, and when my daddy get home he gon whoop yo ass."
I've been fortunate enough to be staying rent-free with extended family for the past month. And this house is full of kids! I'm having a good time being here, so grateful they opened their doors...but as you know, "Kids say the darndest things." For the sake of brevity, here's just a couple:
So a while ago I walk in the house at about 9:30 p.m. (And I think this was one of the days where I left my internship early .) The 4-year-old was concentrating on trying to fold a blanket, but he looks up and says, "You be comin in this house too late."
I had to ask. "What time am I supposed to come in?"
He goes, "Prolly bout like...bout like..2:30."
cool...cool...
A couple days ago my cousin asks me to watch the youngest child while he stepped out for a minute. As soon as he leaves, the 2-year-old starts trying to put on his shoes so he can leave too. I said, "You can't go outside."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No sir. You cannot. No!"
He said, "You being bad."
I'm like, whoa...cuz clearly it's the other way around. So I had to get clarification. I said, "Who being bad??"
This man says, "YOU being bad, and when my daddy get home he gon whoop yo ass."
"The Buried Life"
Never thought I'd say this...but I saw a trailer for "The Buried Life," a new MTV reality show. And seriously, I got kinda teary-eyed.
The show is like a young version of "The Bucket List." With a huge element of Oprah-ism going on, too. Confused?
Well, four friends have a list of 100 things they always wanted to do...but every time they complete one of their goals, like playing basketball w/President Obama, they grant a wish for somebody else. For example, we see a young girl whose mom died in Hurricane Katrina, but she's never been to her mom's gravesite. Another example is an older gentleman with a 17-year-old son. But dude hasn't seen the boy since he was 2. Yep, somehow the four friends get them re-connected.
It's nice to see a show with those dynamics going on - you think it's just about 4 goofy white boys engaging in random chicanery...but then you see that it's much bigger than that. Kudos to whoever pitched this show!!!
And while I'm on MTV, let me just say that one of the great things about television is that it has the ability to expose us to cultures we don't see on a daily basis. And this "Jersey Shore" awesomeness? I really didn't know that Italian folks got it in like that. Like, from watching "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," I learned that those Italian women were some real gangsta broads. Like the Atlanta heffas are all talk, but those Italian women? Flippin tables at the family dinner and the one fat lady who's like, naw, bruh, u not gon come at my family like that, you gotta go thru me. I'm like, get it, bytch!
But what have I learned from "Jersey Shore?" Man...y'all go hard in the paint. Like, as a way of life. I just...didn't know.
The show is like a young version of "The Bucket List." With a huge element of Oprah-ism going on, too. Confused?
Well, four friends have a list of 100 things they always wanted to do...but every time they complete one of their goals, like playing basketball w/President Obama, they grant a wish for somebody else. For example, we see a young girl whose mom died in Hurricane Katrina, but she's never been to her mom's gravesite. Another example is an older gentleman with a 17-year-old son. But dude hasn't seen the boy since he was 2. Yep, somehow the four friends get them re-connected.
It's nice to see a show with those dynamics going on - you think it's just about 4 goofy white boys engaging in random chicanery...but then you see that it's much bigger than that. Kudos to whoever pitched this show!!!
And while I'm on MTV, let me just say that one of the great things about television is that it has the ability to expose us to cultures we don't see on a daily basis. And this "Jersey Shore" awesomeness? I really didn't know that Italian folks got it in like that. Like, from watching "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," I learned that those Italian women were some real gangsta broads. Like the Atlanta heffas are all talk, but those Italian women? Flippin tables at the family dinner and the one fat lady who's like, naw, bruh, u not gon come at my family like that, you gotta go thru me. I'm like, get it, bytch!
But what have I learned from "Jersey Shore?" Man...y'all go hard in the paint. Like, as a way of life. I just...didn't know.
Golden Globes
The dress rehearsal to Hollywood's biggest night. Much more enjoyable than Grandpa Oscar, nearly as prestigious, and more diverse in the content that it celebrates.
I'm excited about the recently announced nominations, and DevaDonna just has a few tiny observations:
*Am I the only one happy to see George Clooney depart from political movies and really weird odd-ball comedies to just do a regular ol' romantic comedy? I have yet to see "Up in the Air," but I think about films like "Out of Sight" and "One Fine Day," and I'm just glad to see George return to his gray-haired, handsome, effortless style of leading man charm...don't forget your bread and butter, baby!
*And one time for Marky Mark! My, how far we've come from '90s rap and posing in CK underwear! (though I wouldn't mind if he modeled again...) I've been reading about this movie "The Lovely Bones," how unique it is, how many stuffy awards it's won and how it's the best screenplay of the year...and when I finally see a trailer, it's starring Mark Wahlberg. That makes me proud.
*Now on to the rest: Morgan Freeman is nominated for "Invictus." I didn't see it, but it's another one with him playing Mandela/Jesus/The President/The Old, Wise, Infallible One...with his nasty, cheatin azz. (look it up)
*Mo'Nique and the big girl (I aint feel like looking up the spelling, Gabourey sumthin. Sorry) are nominated for "Precious." They kept saying Mo'Nique was gonna win an Oscar for this one, but this is one of those cases where she just oughta be glad to be nominated. (CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE YELLING THAT WILL BE TAKING PLACE ON THAT STAGE IF MO'NIQUE ACTUALLY WINS? I shudder at the thought, all at the Golden Globes talkin bout, "YES! YES! SUGA! BABY! YES! YES! YES!" ...HOWEVER, the film got nominated for Best Cast as well, so I actually think they're gonna walk away as winners in one of these 3 categories, at least. AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE NOMINATIONS- I'M STILL NOT PAYING MONEY TO SIT IN A THEATER AND BE DEPRESSED FOR TWO HOURS.
*Penelope Cruz is nominated for this musical, "Nine," but she hasn't even figured out how to speak English yet! Seriously, Penny, you been here too long to still sound like Fez from "That 70's Show"
*Ruby Dee is nominated for some Lifetime movie. Nothing bad to say about this foxy lady! Glad she's still working!
*Yea, so "30 Rock" is nominated for everything, again! And all the noms from "Glee" make me feel like I'm missing out on sumthing by not watching the show...
For those who don't know, this is what I wanna do with my life...so I actually follow awards season and all the goings-on...And I'm pretty excited to see what happens!
I'm excited about the recently announced nominations, and DevaDonna just has a few tiny observations:
*Am I the only one happy to see George Clooney depart from political movies and really weird odd-ball comedies to just do a regular ol' romantic comedy? I have yet to see "Up in the Air," but I think about films like "Out of Sight" and "One Fine Day," and I'm just glad to see George return to his gray-haired, handsome, effortless style of leading man charm...don't forget your bread and butter, baby!
*And one time for Marky Mark! My, how far we've come from '90s rap and posing in CK underwear! (though I wouldn't mind if he modeled again...) I've been reading about this movie "The Lovely Bones," how unique it is, how many stuffy awards it's won and how it's the best screenplay of the year...and when I finally see a trailer, it's starring Mark Wahlberg. That makes me proud.
*Now on to the rest: Morgan Freeman is nominated for "Invictus." I didn't see it, but it's another one with him playing Mandela/Jesus/The President/The Old, Wise, Infallible One...with his nasty, cheatin azz. (look it up)
*Mo'Nique and the big girl (I aint feel like looking up the spelling, Gabourey sumthin. Sorry) are nominated for "Precious." They kept saying Mo'Nique was gonna win an Oscar for this one, but this is one of those cases where she just oughta be glad to be nominated. (CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE YELLING THAT WILL BE TAKING PLACE ON THAT STAGE IF MO'NIQUE ACTUALLY WINS? I shudder at the thought, all at the Golden Globes talkin bout, "YES! YES! SUGA! BABY! YES! YES! YES!" ...HOWEVER, the film got nominated for Best Cast as well, so I actually think they're gonna walk away as winners in one of these 3 categories, at least. AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE NOMINATIONS- I'M STILL NOT PAYING MONEY TO SIT IN A THEATER AND BE DEPRESSED FOR TWO HOURS.
*Penelope Cruz is nominated for this musical, "Nine," but she hasn't even figured out how to speak English yet! Seriously, Penny, you been here too long to still sound like Fez from "That 70's Show"
*Ruby Dee is nominated for some Lifetime movie. Nothing bad to say about this foxy lady! Glad she's still working!
*Yea, so "30 Rock" is nominated for everything, again! And all the noms from "Glee" make me feel like I'm missing out on sumthing by not watching the show...
For those who don't know, this is what I wanna do with my life...so I actually follow awards season and all the goings-on...And I'm pretty excited to see what happens!
Pick Your Poison
Ladies,
My mother never told me this, "Don't put your purse on the floor or you'll never have any money!" which is probably why I'm good for throwing my bag on the floor real quick...and I haven't seen a dollar in a minute...
Butttt for those of you who subscribe to that superstition, I have a scenario:
Let's say you're at the mall and you need to use the restroom. It's been raining (or snowing), so the floor is all dirty and wet. The bathroom stall does not have a hook where you can hang your bag. However, they have a changing table for the babies.
SOOOO do you put your bag on the dirty floor - or a changing table?
My mother never told me this, "Don't put your purse on the floor or you'll never have any money!" which is probably why I'm good for throwing my bag on the floor real quick...and I haven't seen a dollar in a minute...
Butttt for those of you who subscribe to that superstition, I have a scenario:
Let's say you're at the mall and you need to use the restroom. It's been raining (or snowing), so the floor is all dirty and wet. The bathroom stall does not have a hook where you can hang your bag. However, they have a changing table for the babies.
SOOOO do you put your bag on the dirty floor - or a changing table?
I Don't Care How You Get Here...
Just get here if you can...
You know these days when you fill out a job app, they ask you HOW you plan to get to work. Some applications simply ask, "Do you have reliable transportation?" You check Yes or No, and leave it at that.
Well, yesterday I filled out an app to work for the 2010 Census. And I kid you not, that paper said:
26a. Indicate the types of transportation available for your use:
Automobile
4-Wheel Drive
Airplane
Boat
ATV (All Terrain Vehicle)
Other _______
None
In terms of "Other," I'm not quite sure what's left... That list looks pret-ty darn thorough to me.
You know these days when you fill out a job app, they ask you HOW you plan to get to work. Some applications simply ask, "Do you have reliable transportation?" You check Yes or No, and leave it at that.
Well, yesterday I filled out an app to work for the 2010 Census. And I kid you not, that paper said:
26a. Indicate the types of transportation available for your use:
Automobile
4-Wheel Drive
Airplane
Boat
ATV (All Terrain Vehicle)
Other _______
None
In terms of "Other," I'm not quite sure what's left... That list looks pret-ty darn thorough to me.
Triflin
SO here's why you don't do your grocery shopping at the corner store.
I'm at this store one day - I won't give the address - but my dude calls something to my attention. I'm like, we're in a corner store, what could possibly be so interesting?
Well, here it is folks:
In the back of the store, they had shelves of expired food. Marked down with these red stickers, of course, and this hand-written note, "Out Dated, But Still Wholesome."
I'm all for getting more bang for your buck...but I had to miss out on that one, cuz I'm the type to pour milk out the day before it expires...
I'm at this store one day - I won't give the address - but my dude calls something to my attention. I'm like, we're in a corner store, what could possibly be so interesting?
Well, here it is folks:
In the back of the store, they had shelves of expired food. Marked down with these red stickers, of course, and this hand-written note, "Out Dated, But Still Wholesome."
I'm all for getting more bang for your buck...but I had to miss out on that one, cuz I'm the type to pour milk out the day before it expires...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I Feel the (Holiday) Spirit!
I'm not home for Christmas...haven't seen any snow...haven't really been to the mall to see all their holiday displays and whatnot...so, needless to say, I've been feeling like some thing is missing.
I couldn't....quite put my finger on it. BUT THEN IT HIT ME! If you wanna feel it too, watch this video...it's a holiday favorite! (SHOUTS to B.O. and K-Hop!)
I couldn't....quite put my finger on it. BUT THEN IT HIT ME! If you wanna feel it too, watch this video...it's a holiday favorite! (SHOUTS to B.O. and K-Hop!)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Rob w/ Ms. Minaj - Judge for Yourselves
See, I was on my way to bed - then I heard my dude Robin Thicke was on BET. with Nicki Minaj! (wth?)
So I had to look it up. And well....one time for Robin actually DANCING! Like, not swaying in place, but physically stepping away from the mic and boppin for the kids! File that under 'pleasant surprise.' And I'm wit the real hip-hop feel to the song.....BUTTT
Ms. Nicki? I've given her multiple attempts to convince me, but after this whack performance, I'm just NOT buyin it!
Seriously, Nicki? We got this jumpin beat, song called "Shakin it"...and you just gon walk across the stage and keep pullin your hair out ur face. U not gon attempt to...perform? Mama, if the Remi is uncomfortable then find a new do. But evrytime I c u, u keep checkin ur hair? Performing 101: THat ish is distracting!
IN ADDITION...what part of the game is it where you just take off yelling on line 2 of every 16 bars you drop, and get progressively louder? You know she came out, said the first line, I'm wit it, tryna see where she's gonna go with it...and then she take off screaming for the rest of the verse. I'm like, I hope that's the only time we hear her on this song...but no, lucky me, she kept comin back. Watch this video, if you will, but the mess made me mad.
So I had to look it up. And well....one time for Robin actually DANCING! Like, not swaying in place, but physically stepping away from the mic and boppin for the kids! File that under 'pleasant surprise.' And I'm wit the real hip-hop feel to the song.....BUTTT
Ms. Nicki? I've given her multiple attempts to convince me, but after this whack performance, I'm just NOT buyin it!
Seriously, Nicki? We got this jumpin beat, song called "Shakin it"...and you just gon walk across the stage and keep pullin your hair out ur face. U not gon attempt to...perform? Mama, if the Remi is uncomfortable then find a new do. But evrytime I c u, u keep checkin ur hair? Performing 101: THat ish is distracting!
IN ADDITION...what part of the game is it where you just take off yelling on line 2 of every 16 bars you drop, and get progressively louder? You know she came out, said the first line, I'm wit it, tryna see where she's gonna go with it...and then she take off screaming for the rest of the verse. I'm like, I hope that's the only time we hear her on this song...but no, lucky me, she kept comin back. Watch this video, if you will, but the mess made me mad.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Gaydar
Well, ladies, I know many of us believe our sense of "gaydar" is allll the wayyy turnt up. But let me tell you, since I've been in the A, I haven't seen many of the flamboyant homosexual men I was promised. Nope, on the contrary, MOST of the men I looked at and went, "Now, he's well put-together" have turned out to have...other interests.
With this in mind, in some instances it's just safer to assume guilty until proven innocent. (Please excuse the connotation of the word "guilty." I'm not saying being gay is a bad thing, I'm just saying it's bad for the women who might be pursuing you unawares.)
Granted, the only searching I'm doing these days is for jobs. But I have noticed some signs to help you weed out the posers. NO! This list is not foolproof, or politically correct...it's just some things that I have noticed:
1. Note his posture. Gay guys tend to have excellent posture. Like they're about to take off into a spread eagle leap. If he's standing rail straight and there's no wall behind him? Or sitting on a stool with his back perfectly perpendicular to the table? Maybe...
2. Check his clique. You might have a gay cousin, butttt chances are heterosexual black men won't have a posse FULL of homosexual men. It's just not likely. SO if your friend is faking but he hangs with dudes who aren't...then, maybe.
3. Overly flirtatious. Maybe he's trying to overcompensate by acting like he wants to freak every girl in the world. I've had guys flirt with me who were high on my suspect list, and I'm just like, who you think you foolin? I guess you thought he was into you, telling your friends, "He always saying sum lil slick stuff every time he see me. He be whisperin all in my ear. He hit me on my butt when we were leaving class, he be kissin me all on my cheek talkin bout when we gon go out..." BUTTTT he ain't asked for that number yet, has he? And if he has it, how many times has he called you? Exactly....
4. Another overcompensation technique: Is he quick to label other people gay? You walkin thru the mall with him, lookin at the shoes in the window and he comes out of nowhere, feigning aggravation, like, "*huffs* Look at them fags over there! They so damn gay." BE YE NOT DECEIVED, my sista! He aint sick of seein em everywhere - maybe the way he stopped in his tracks, threw one hand on his hip, sighed extra loud and started scratching behind his ear was his gaydar going off and his way of telling them, "I see you, bayb!"
5. This one applies for famous men...is he always dating a chick who's not black? I call them the 'cover girls.' He'll have a white girl on his arm at events, but it's just for appearances because, Becky, I hate to say it - you have NO gaydar. Idk if the idea of snagging a brotha is so appealing that you can't tell a gay one from a straight one...but look at ppl like Ne-Yo, John Legend and to an extent, even Jamie Foxx...and Kanye West. You won't see them with any woman who fails the paper bag test. Yea, Amber, keep on usin Kanye...cuz he's using you too, "Cover Girl."
6. Listen to his stories. I'm trying to tell you, sumtimes you need to just shut up and listen - it might catch you from falling. When he's telling you about his trysts and adventures, he will always use gender-neutral terms. The story will go like this, "So I was posed to go out last nite, but the person I'm dealin wit started actin stupid. They was not answering the fone, they act like they ain't get my texts. I'm bout to be done with them." (As opposed to a straight dude, who mite say sumthin like, "Man, this girl I was tryna get at last nite was bad as hell, but that hoe was on sum otha sh*t.")
7. And this last one is my foolproof, never fails, all I need to see to be sure. It's so simple, but it'll save your life. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK THE WAY HE HOLDS HIS PHONE. I don't care if he's talking, texting or browsing. Watch the way he retrieves it from his pocket (or holster), how he dials the numbers and ESP. the way he holds it to his ear. I KNOW phones are getting smaller and smaller these days. It was uncomfortable to watch a big man hold a tiny-ass RAZR phone. But if he's straight, he still will hold that boy without broken wrists. If the fone is like cradled to his ear and his wrists are just all bent up...no no, boo-boo. Strate dudes hold that fone at a 90-degree angle. The head mite tilt into the fone, but not the wrists. Gay dudes will form acute angles with that wrist. I'm just telling you what I KNOW. If his head is straight or tilted, the acute wrist angles are still in effect regardless.
If he flips that fone out his pocket...no no, boo-boo. If he points while talking to you as an extension of the hand gestures he's making...no no, boo-boo.
I know you mite have exceptions to the rule, and you might say, "Well, maybe he's just feminine"...and that's fine, and that's why YOU gon get caught out there. All I know is, if I see a dude givin all kindsa fone flair, I just know he's not man enuf for me.
With this in mind, in some instances it's just safer to assume guilty until proven innocent. (Please excuse the connotation of the word "guilty." I'm not saying being gay is a bad thing, I'm just saying it's bad for the women who might be pursuing you unawares.)
Granted, the only searching I'm doing these days is for jobs. But I have noticed some signs to help you weed out the posers. NO! This list is not foolproof, or politically correct...it's just some things that I have noticed:
1. Note his posture. Gay guys tend to have excellent posture. Like they're about to take off into a spread eagle leap. If he's standing rail straight and there's no wall behind him? Or sitting on a stool with his back perfectly perpendicular to the table? Maybe...
2. Check his clique. You might have a gay cousin, butttt chances are heterosexual black men won't have a posse FULL of homosexual men. It's just not likely. SO if your friend is faking but he hangs with dudes who aren't...then, maybe.
3. Overly flirtatious. Maybe he's trying to overcompensate by acting like he wants to freak every girl in the world. I've had guys flirt with me who were high on my suspect list, and I'm just like, who you think you foolin? I guess you thought he was into you, telling your friends, "He always saying sum lil slick stuff every time he see me. He be whisperin all in my ear. He hit me on my butt when we were leaving class, he be kissin me all on my cheek talkin bout when we gon go out..." BUTTTT he ain't asked for that number yet, has he? And if he has it, how many times has he called you? Exactly....
4. Another overcompensation technique: Is he quick to label other people gay? You walkin thru the mall with him, lookin at the shoes in the window and he comes out of nowhere, feigning aggravation, like, "*huffs* Look at them fags over there! They so damn gay." BE YE NOT DECEIVED, my sista! He aint sick of seein em everywhere - maybe the way he stopped in his tracks, threw one hand on his hip, sighed extra loud and started scratching behind his ear was his gaydar going off and his way of telling them, "I see you, bayb!"
5. This one applies for famous men...is he always dating a chick who's not black? I call them the 'cover girls.' He'll have a white girl on his arm at events, but it's just for appearances because, Becky, I hate to say it - you have NO gaydar. Idk if the idea of snagging a brotha is so appealing that you can't tell a gay one from a straight one...but look at ppl like Ne-Yo, John Legend and to an extent, even Jamie Foxx...and Kanye West. You won't see them with any woman who fails the paper bag test. Yea, Amber, keep on usin Kanye...cuz he's using you too, "Cover Girl."
6. Listen to his stories. I'm trying to tell you, sumtimes you need to just shut up and listen - it might catch you from falling. When he's telling you about his trysts and adventures, he will always use gender-neutral terms. The story will go like this, "So I was posed to go out last nite, but the person I'm dealin wit started actin stupid. They was not answering the fone, they act like they ain't get my texts. I'm bout to be done with them." (As opposed to a straight dude, who mite say sumthin like, "Man, this girl I was tryna get at last nite was bad as hell, but that hoe was on sum otha sh*t.")
7. And this last one is my foolproof, never fails, all I need to see to be sure. It's so simple, but it'll save your life. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK THE WAY HE HOLDS HIS PHONE. I don't care if he's talking, texting or browsing. Watch the way he retrieves it from his pocket (or holster), how he dials the numbers and ESP. the way he holds it to his ear. I KNOW phones are getting smaller and smaller these days. It was uncomfortable to watch a big man hold a tiny-ass RAZR phone. But if he's straight, he still will hold that boy without broken wrists. If the fone is like cradled to his ear and his wrists are just all bent up...no no, boo-boo. Strate dudes hold that fone at a 90-degree angle. The head mite tilt into the fone, but not the wrists. Gay dudes will form acute angles with that wrist. I'm just telling you what I KNOW. If his head is straight or tilted, the acute wrist angles are still in effect regardless.
If he flips that fone out his pocket...no no, boo-boo. If he points while talking to you as an extension of the hand gestures he's making...no no, boo-boo.
I know you mite have exceptions to the rule, and you might say, "Well, maybe he's just feminine"...and that's fine, and that's why YOU gon get caught out there. All I know is, if I see a dude givin all kindsa fone flair, I just know he's not man enuf for me.
Monday, December 7, 2009
'Scuse my Language
Folks who don't respond when you say hello? Yea...they're sum assholes. (I'm on the set like, well damn, the actors give me hugs erytime they see me...but this one old no-name nig act like he too good. Boy, please!)
Folks who ignore your text messages? Yea...they're some assholes. (Unless you asked a question they just didn't wanna answer, which I occasionally understand)
People who don't respond to your e-mails? Yea, they sum assholes, too. (If the message didn't bounce back,that means they got it and just said f* you. I don't care if you freakin' e-mailed Michael Jordan or Debra Lee...they could say hi.)
And I'd like to add another group of ppl to this asshole group. You see, I've come to realize there are two types of internships:
1. One is a structured program, designed to train and develop talent. They do things like give you mentors, take you to lunch, set you some goals, chart your progress, make you do case studies and projects and give you monogrammed mugs and bags when you leave. They use phrases like, "It was great having you on board; call me if there's any thing I can do for you!"
2. Then you have folks who think, "Ooh interns! An extra set of hands to do all the shyt I dont wanna do!" These ppl barely answer ur questions, hardly ask you any questions or attempt to make conversation at all,(yet everyone on 'their level' thinks they're great...bcuz they only find it necessary to chat w/ppl on 'their level') they only give you menial tasks, love to check you for very small things in order to exert their authority, want you to 'take initiative' but tell you no to most things and hate to see you do anything outside the 'intern/peon' role, any time you speak up they accuse you of complaining or being disrespectful and they don't keep you informed on anything that's going on or anything helpful to your career. At the end of the internship, they don't give you a rec letter or even a pack of pencils. Just, 'Thanks, bye.' They have forgotten where they came from, not in the sense of 'leaving the hood and not looking back,' but rather forgetting that they didn't know everything at one point, and sumone was nice enough to help them out. The fact that they don't return the favor tells you what kind of people they really are.
Obviously, this second group of people? Yea....you guessed it! They sum assholes. You feel like you're wasting your time in that internship because you're dealing w/ sum1 who couldn't care less if you progress or what you do afterward. But you don't quit because you feel it would look bad.
Sumtimes I wonder, was this person always an asshole? Am I doing sumthing that causes them to amp up the asshole-ness? Or did they just become as asshole when they got a title that allowed them to be over sum1?
I'm not sure what kinda message it sends when the interns have more integrity than their bosses or other ppl on your staff....Let's just hope we remember those assholes when we get to their positions - and beyond - and refrain from turning into them.
Folks who ignore your text messages? Yea...they're some assholes. (Unless you asked a question they just didn't wanna answer, which I occasionally understand)
People who don't respond to your e-mails? Yea, they sum assholes, too. (If the message didn't bounce back,that means they got it and just said f* you. I don't care if you freakin' e-mailed Michael Jordan or Debra Lee...they could say hi.)
And I'd like to add another group of ppl to this asshole group. You see, I've come to realize there are two types of internships:
1. One is a structured program, designed to train and develop talent. They do things like give you mentors, take you to lunch, set you some goals, chart your progress, make you do case studies and projects and give you monogrammed mugs and bags when you leave. They use phrases like, "It was great having you on board; call me if there's any thing I can do for you!"
2. Then you have folks who think, "Ooh interns! An extra set of hands to do all the shyt I dont wanna do!" These ppl barely answer ur questions, hardly ask you any questions or attempt to make conversation at all,(yet everyone on 'their level' thinks they're great...bcuz they only find it necessary to chat w/ppl on 'their level') they only give you menial tasks, love to check you for very small things in order to exert their authority, want you to 'take initiative' but tell you no to most things and hate to see you do anything outside the 'intern/peon' role, any time you speak up they accuse you of complaining or being disrespectful and they don't keep you informed on anything that's going on or anything helpful to your career. At the end of the internship, they don't give you a rec letter or even a pack of pencils. Just, 'Thanks, bye.' They have forgotten where they came from, not in the sense of 'leaving the hood and not looking back,' but rather forgetting that they didn't know everything at one point, and sumone was nice enough to help them out. The fact that they don't return the favor tells you what kind of people they really are.
Obviously, this second group of people? Yea....you guessed it! They sum assholes. You feel like you're wasting your time in that internship because you're dealing w/ sum1 who couldn't care less if you progress or what you do afterward. But you don't quit because you feel it would look bad.
Sumtimes I wonder, was this person always an asshole? Am I doing sumthing that causes them to amp up the asshole-ness? Or did they just become as asshole when they got a title that allowed them to be over sum1?
I'm not sure what kinda message it sends when the interns have more integrity than their bosses or other ppl on your staff....Let's just hope we remember those assholes when we get to their positions - and beyond - and refrain from turning into them.
Here's What You Don't Do
Not that I know everything...but here's an accumulation of "things I know for sure" that I really feel will be helpful for you to bear in mind:
1. So I know the clothes are cute and cheap. I, too, get excited at the sight of $9.50 denim and $5.50 long-sleeve tees in jeweled colors. Just know that anything you buy from Forever 21 has a shelf life of two-three uses. I'm ride or die for Forever in spite of this fact, but I just don't want you to be surprised at that HUGE hole in your armpit or at the neck part of your turtleneck after you wash it one time.
2. Again, I know the price was right, and it said "sensitive solutions"...but those earrings from Claire's are still going to burn your earlobes after while. And that green stuff? Might be poisonous...
3. Don't confuse family with friends. When there's no over-arching regard for the institution of family and a lack of respect for your common bloodline, then you get issues such as cliques and extended silences and whatnot. You ever uttered the phrase, "That b*tch bet not ask me for shyt!" about a friend, right? But not your fam, I hope...
4. Don't drop an album without tellin folks to check for it. I mean, seriously, Robin Thicke does one little funky performance on BET with that pirate mustacchio, and all of a sudden the album is in stores tomorrow. You ain't ready yet! You need a buzzzzz and maybe a video and all kinds of promo. Now I gotta wait til I find some more money because I found out today at the last minute, and my $15 for the week went to Old Navy for sum boots.
5. DO NOT; I repeat, DO NOT ever buy underwear from Rainbow, Rave or Forman Mills. First of all, you instantly brand yourself by wearing anything with "baby girl" printed all over it. But beyond that, I'm just tellin you what I know - wearing undergarments from said stores will lead to a day of much discomfort. I know, I know...you got five bras and five panties for the price of Victoria Secret's cheapest bra...but this is one very accurate case of, you get what you pay for. Just trust me.
6. Don't get drunk with friends who encourage hoe-ish activity. If you roll with the thirsty chicks who are trying to get chose, you might as well show up by yourself to a frat party and get stanky-legg drunk because it's all the same. No one will be looking out for your well-being, your intoxicated self included. If everyone gets too drunk to drive, please believe a group of guys has noticed - and will be willing to "help" you out.
7. Don't have sex with anyone whom you only know by first name or nickname. I know, you wanna have fun sometimes! All your friends have one-night stands all the time, and u wanna let your hair down tonight. OK, but with your luck, that one time will leave you with a baby. And it's impossible to get child support from that guy you met at the club whose name you barely heard because the music was so loud. "What you say - Trey? Huh? Ray? Huh? Dontay?"
8. DON'T get cherries tattooed on your breasts....don't let your mama do it either. Please.
***I'm sure I'll have more to add later. In the vein of Oprah's "Things I Know for Sure" are there any life lessons you'd like to add to "Here's What You Don't Do."
1. So I know the clothes are cute and cheap. I, too, get excited at the sight of $9.50 denim and $5.50 long-sleeve tees in jeweled colors. Just know that anything you buy from Forever 21 has a shelf life of two-three uses. I'm ride or die for Forever in spite of this fact, but I just don't want you to be surprised at that HUGE hole in your armpit or at the neck part of your turtleneck after you wash it one time.
2. Again, I know the price was right, and it said "sensitive solutions"...but those earrings from Claire's are still going to burn your earlobes after while. And that green stuff? Might be poisonous...
3. Don't confuse family with friends. When there's no over-arching regard for the institution of family and a lack of respect for your common bloodline, then you get issues such as cliques and extended silences and whatnot. You ever uttered the phrase, "That b*tch bet not ask me for shyt!" about a friend, right? But not your fam, I hope...
4. Don't drop an album without tellin folks to check for it. I mean, seriously, Robin Thicke does one little funky performance on BET with that pirate mustacchio, and all of a sudden the album is in stores tomorrow. You ain't ready yet! You need a buzzzzz and maybe a video and all kinds of promo. Now I gotta wait til I find some more money because I found out today at the last minute, and my $15 for the week went to Old Navy for sum boots.
5. DO NOT; I repeat, DO NOT ever buy underwear from Rainbow, Rave or Forman Mills. First of all, you instantly brand yourself by wearing anything with "baby girl" printed all over it. But beyond that, I'm just tellin you what I know - wearing undergarments from said stores will lead to a day of much discomfort. I know, I know...you got five bras and five panties for the price of Victoria Secret's cheapest bra...but this is one very accurate case of, you get what you pay for. Just trust me.
6. Don't get drunk with friends who encourage hoe-ish activity. If you roll with the thirsty chicks who are trying to get chose, you might as well show up by yourself to a frat party and get stanky-legg drunk because it's all the same. No one will be looking out for your well-being, your intoxicated self included. If everyone gets too drunk to drive, please believe a group of guys has noticed - and will be willing to "help" you out.
7. Don't have sex with anyone whom you only know by first name or nickname. I know, you wanna have fun sometimes! All your friends have one-night stands all the time, and u wanna let your hair down tonight. OK, but with your luck, that one time will leave you with a baby. And it's impossible to get child support from that guy you met at the club whose name you barely heard because the music was so loud. "What you say - Trey? Huh? Ray? Huh? Dontay?"
8. DON'T get cherries tattooed on your breasts....don't let your mama do it either. Please.
***I'm sure I'll have more to add later. In the vein of Oprah's "Things I Know for Sure" are there any life lessons you'd like to add to "Here's What You Don't Do."
Tardy for the...
So this club by my house is having an album release party for Gucci.
...correct me if I'm wrong, but Gucci is in jail, right?
Is it common practice to throw an album party for an artist who won't be in attendance?
I didn't think so. I guess these folks just really felt like celebrating sum shyt.
...correct me if I'm wrong, but Gucci is in jail, right?
Is it common practice to throw an album party for an artist who won't be in attendance?
I didn't think so. I guess these folks just really felt like celebrating sum shyt.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Casting Call
I just saw this ad on Craigslist. I mean, I guess that's what casting is: deliberately seeking certain types of ppl. But for all of us who were wondering what happened to the black girls on "Real World"....here we go.
1 very attractive Mixed girl needed for MTV's Real World!!! (Atlanta)
Date: 2009-12-06, 10:18AM EST
Reply to: see below
MTV's Real World is casting for 1 very attractive mixed girl to join next seasons cast.
The location is still a secret, and will not be announced until the interview process. Casting will continue until Monday evening. Select applicants will then be interviewed here in Atlanta next Tuesday at a private location.
All applicants please send an email with name, age, and a few pics to: .....
1 very attractive Mixed girl needed for MTV's Real World!!! (Atlanta)
Date: 2009-12-06, 10:18AM EST
Reply to: see below
MTV's Real World is casting for 1 very attractive mixed girl to join next seasons cast.
The location is still a secret, and will not be announced until the interview process. Casting will continue until Monday evening. Select applicants will then be interviewed here in Atlanta next Tuesday at a private location.
All applicants please send an email with name, age, and a few pics to: .....
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Gratefulness
For anyone who's ever been discontent with their station in life...ever been frustrated or felt "stuck"...when you finally find something that makes you happy, no matter how small it may seem, you need to celebrate each good day for the victory it truly is.
I kinda did sumthin crazy recently. Said, "Forget my bills...see you later, family...goodbye, my only source of income," picked up and moved to another state. May be temporary, may not be - but I do know it's an incredible feeling to finally feel like you're walking in the path toward your destiny...no matter how unglamorous or reckless it may seem to the rest of the world, "doin you" feels sooo much better than whatever it was you used to do every day.
We try to make ourselves do the 'responsible' thing out of necessity. Working at jobs we hate because we have bills to pay and whatnot. I had an office job all summer. Certainly made more than minimum wage, but my level of boredom and sense that I was doing the most unrelevant tasks were frustrating...makes you nonchalant, even though you "need" that job. My supervisor was trying to find a way to get me to work more hours...mighta been nuts, but I was like, "no thanks, I'm good." He was like, what you doin when you get off? Nothing...which was half true. But for my sanity's sake, leaving at 3 o'clock was the best part of my day! I'm looking at the clock all day trying to remember why the caged bird sings, lol!
At any rate, I prayed before I packed my life up and left. I told folks that I wasn't running from something, rather I was running tosomething. And I told Jesus, "Lord, I'm jumping off a cliff here. I need you to either catch me, or let me fly."
And while in the short short time I've been gone, I've had a lot of downs (and some ups)....I have to say, "thank you Lord." My overall joy for living level is higher than it's been in a minute...and I'm celebrating each good day for the VICTORY it really is.
Happiness is a choice; I'm making that decision more and more these days. A lot of things in my life are uncertain right now...but MAN, I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE PEACE I FELT WHEN I MADE A MOVE AND TRULY HAD THE FAITH TO BELIEVE THAT GOD WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME. Trusting God is not easy, but you'll know when you're doing it right because the peace you'll feel won't even make sense! It hit me like a wave of rushing water that I did not see coming; this calming feeling that, I'ma be alright. That God leads me and His favor rests upon me, so how could I possibly lose? And if you look at my situation, it still doesn't add up...doesn't look like things are in place...but my God, HE confirms things for me in odd ways and places ppl in my path to keep me encouraged. I count it a blessing to have ppl in my life who love me enuf to correct me, vouch for me and counsel me. I'm listening. I'm moving. I'm hoping. And I gotta say, today was a good day!
I kinda did sumthin crazy recently. Said, "Forget my bills...see you later, family...goodbye, my only source of income," picked up and moved to another state. May be temporary, may not be - but I do know it's an incredible feeling to finally feel like you're walking in the path toward your destiny...no matter how unglamorous or reckless it may seem to the rest of the world, "doin you" feels sooo much better than whatever it was you used to do every day.
We try to make ourselves do the 'responsible' thing out of necessity. Working at jobs we hate because we have bills to pay and whatnot. I had an office job all summer. Certainly made more than minimum wage, but my level of boredom and sense that I was doing the most unrelevant tasks were frustrating...makes you nonchalant, even though you "need" that job. My supervisor was trying to find a way to get me to work more hours...mighta been nuts, but I was like, "no thanks, I'm good." He was like, what you doin when you get off? Nothing...which was half true. But for my sanity's sake, leaving at 3 o'clock was the best part of my day! I'm looking at the clock all day trying to remember why the caged bird sings, lol!
At any rate, I prayed before I packed my life up and left. I told folks that I wasn't running from something, rather I was running tosomething. And I told Jesus, "Lord, I'm jumping off a cliff here. I need you to either catch me, or let me fly."
And while in the short short time I've been gone, I've had a lot of downs (and some ups)....I have to say, "thank you Lord." My overall joy for living level is higher than it's been in a minute...and I'm celebrating each good day for the VICTORY it really is.
Happiness is a choice; I'm making that decision more and more these days. A lot of things in my life are uncertain right now...but MAN, I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE PEACE I FELT WHEN I MADE A MOVE AND TRULY HAD THE FAITH TO BELIEVE THAT GOD WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME. Trusting God is not easy, but you'll know when you're doing it right because the peace you'll feel won't even make sense! It hit me like a wave of rushing water that I did not see coming; this calming feeling that, I'ma be alright. That God leads me and His favor rests upon me, so how could I possibly lose? And if you look at my situation, it still doesn't add up...doesn't look like things are in place...but my God, HE confirms things for me in odd ways and places ppl in my path to keep me encouraged. I count it a blessing to have ppl in my life who love me enuf to correct me, vouch for me and counsel me. I'm listening. I'm moving. I'm hoping. And I gotta say, today was a good day!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Universal Mom Truth #1
One thing I've learned about mothers everywhere is that when they start yelling, they do not stop.
Rest assured, if your little sister did sumthing to set her off, after she yells at her for at least 30 minutes, she's going to find a reason to hit you next. You may not have thought you did anything wrong at that particular time, but she's already fired up and has to keep going. If there are 9 kids in your house, all it takes is for 1 of you to get her started...she's gonna go down the line until she gives everybody some.
It is therefore your daily and never-ending duty to make sure your life is completely together at every given moment of every single day.
Did you make your bed? Did you take too long in the shower? Did you fold all your laundry? Did you do your homework? Did you iron your clothes? Is there dust on your floor? Do you have a 5-year plan for your life?
Trust me, no matter if you think you've covered all your bases, she will not concede defeat - she's gonna find sumthing to harp on. And even when it's not my mother doing the yelling, it's just as annoying....I've heard people's mothers talk to them like dogs in the street.
You ever been at a friend or relative's house in disbelief, like, "Dang, yo mama is going soooo hard right now." You just feel bad for everybody in the house.
Rest assured, if your little sister did sumthing to set her off, after she yells at her for at least 30 minutes, she's going to find a reason to hit you next. You may not have thought you did anything wrong at that particular time, but she's already fired up and has to keep going. If there are 9 kids in your house, all it takes is for 1 of you to get her started...she's gonna go down the line until she gives everybody some.
It is therefore your daily and never-ending duty to make sure your life is completely together at every given moment of every single day.
Did you make your bed? Did you take too long in the shower? Did you fold all your laundry? Did you do your homework? Did you iron your clothes? Is there dust on your floor? Do you have a 5-year plan for your life?
Trust me, no matter if you think you've covered all your bases, she will not concede defeat - she's gonna find sumthing to harp on. And even when it's not my mother doing the yelling, it's just as annoying....I've heard people's mothers talk to them like dogs in the street.
You ever been at a friend or relative's house in disbelief, like, "Dang, yo mama is going soooo hard right now." You just feel bad for everybody in the house.
Monday, November 30, 2009
When Music was Music
You ever get in this mood where you just want to sing? Like, be in your car rolling down the street having a concert by your own self? Most of the time when this spirit hits, I turn to a station that plays oldies.
1. Because new music oftentimes doesn't move me like that and transcend my spirit to a soothing place.
2. Because new music often fails to emote the passion (and pure vocal skill) of older music.
3. And because new music often has lyrics that are kinda shallow.
With this in mind, I heard this old Patti Labelle song a week or two ago. And I was compelled to sing along. The lyrics just hit me - "I love and need and want you baby. Love and need and want you baby."
Because honestly, I don't know about you, but the person I'm with? I need him to do all three: love and need and want me.
1. Because new music oftentimes doesn't move me like that and transcend my spirit to a soothing place.
2. Because new music often fails to emote the passion (and pure vocal skill) of older music.
3. And because new music often has lyrics that are kinda shallow.
With this in mind, I heard this old Patti Labelle song a week or two ago. And I was compelled to sing along. The lyrics just hit me - "I love and need and want you baby. Love and need and want you baby."
Because honestly, I don't know about you, but the person I'm with? I need him to do all three: love and need and want me.
CHURCH-isms
So, if you know me, you know I love church. But you also know I'm an editor at heart. And the editor part of my brain is a part I simply cannot turn off. Yes, I do. I mentally edit your sermon while you're speaking. I'm sorry. I do.
And for the life of me, I just don't understand this dignified, sanctified, educated (thru the sudden calling of Christ) church vocabulary we have. You know, where you hissss every word that endsss in the letter s? And we take the long route to the end of the sentence instead of the direct one? For instance:
-"You know here at XYZ Baptist Cathedral, we come to just love on God today. We have a good time just loving on God."....as opposed to just loving Him. Is loving on Him different than just...loving Him? Cuz maybe I've been doing this love thing wrong...
OR
-"Lord, we welcome you to visit us on tonight"... or "Meet us on Tuesday"
...as opposed to the Lord just visiting us tonight. That extra on didn't make the visitation sound better or more significant. It just made me cringe that you put that word there and you didn't need it, cuz if you take it out your sentence means the same thing, and sounds better.
And then we do things like take a very simple word, but make it sound important by changing it to the adverb past present participle...i.e., last night, I was told I was at a "dedicatorial service." Sound it out-Six syllables, people. Not just a "dedication," but a "dedicatory occasion." Yessss, very auspiciousssss-sounding, indeed.
And don't u love the catch phrases we coin in the church? (Most of which must rhyme.) No lie, Jesse Jackson spoke at a church I recently attended. And he said, "You get your stars from your scars." AND THEN THEY FLIP IT FOR EMPHASIS, USING THE COMMUNICATIVE PROPERTY OF EQUALITY: "For if there are no scars, you get no stars." He went on to say, "You get your glory from your story...and if there is no story,then you get no glory." Yesss, that wasss deep. Indeed.
And tell the truth, you know your pastor just got hold to a phrase he heard in a rap song that was out 10 years ago, and he is wearing that line outtt! YOU KNOW within the past month, your pastor told you to touch your neighbor and say, "Whoomp, there it is!" Or, "It's getting hot in here..." Or maybe he's still dropping sumthing "like it's hot."
Hand, (not 'and,' but 'hand'-short 'a' sound)you know we're good for some acronyms. Last night the first lady was talking about how the adversary tried to move against her. And she said to find that devil under your feet, look him in the eye and say, "BAM!" 'BAM! You shouldn'tve tried to hurt me. BAM! You tried to burn me down. BAM! You shouldn'tve touched me. BAM!" And do you know what BAM stands for...yep, you guessed it: Blessings And Miracles. BAM, devil, BAM!
And I'm not Baptist, so forgive me, but nobody taught me the roll call you must recite in order to give your testimony. "Giving honor to God, who is the Head of my life. The anointed pastor of this house, first lady, deacons, mothers, pulpit and all the members of this congregation. I bring you greetings on behalf of Greater Mt. Huron AME Missionary Baptist Church, 1234 Michigan Avenue, where Rev. Jeffrey G. Jackson is the pastor...." By time you get through all that, I'm seriously thinking about where I'm going for dinner afterward...and trying not to check my phone for missed texts....
One day I'ma tweet an entire service for y'all in real time, so you can see what I'm talking about.
And for the life of me, I just don't understand this dignified, sanctified, educated (thru the sudden calling of Christ) church vocabulary we have. You know, where you hissss every word that endsss in the letter s? And we take the long route to the end of the sentence instead of the direct one? For instance:
-"You know here at XYZ Baptist Cathedral, we come to just love on God today. We have a good time just loving on God."....as opposed to just loving Him. Is loving on Him different than just...loving Him? Cuz maybe I've been doing this love thing wrong...
OR
-"Lord, we welcome you to visit us on tonight"... or "Meet us on Tuesday"
...as opposed to the Lord just visiting us tonight. That extra on didn't make the visitation sound better or more significant. It just made me cringe that you put that word there and you didn't need it, cuz if you take it out your sentence means the same thing, and sounds better.
And then we do things like take a very simple word, but make it sound important by changing it to the adverb past present participle...i.e., last night, I was told I was at a "dedicatorial service." Sound it out-Six syllables, people. Not just a "dedication," but a "dedicatory occasion." Yessss, very auspiciousssss-sounding, indeed.
And don't u love the catch phrases we coin in the church? (Most of which must rhyme.) No lie, Jesse Jackson spoke at a church I recently attended. And he said, "You get your stars from your scars." AND THEN THEY FLIP IT FOR EMPHASIS, USING THE COMMUNICATIVE PROPERTY OF EQUALITY: "For if there are no scars, you get no stars." He went on to say, "You get your glory from your story...and if there is no story,then you get no glory." Yesss, that wasss deep. Indeed.
And tell the truth, you know your pastor just got hold to a phrase he heard in a rap song that was out 10 years ago, and he is wearing that line outtt! YOU KNOW within the past month, your pastor told you to touch your neighbor and say, "Whoomp, there it is!" Or, "It's getting hot in here..." Or maybe he's still dropping sumthing "like it's hot."
Hand, (not 'and,' but 'hand'-short 'a' sound)you know we're good for some acronyms. Last night the first lady was talking about how the adversary tried to move against her. And she said to find that devil under your feet, look him in the eye and say, "BAM!" 'BAM! You shouldn'tve tried to hurt me. BAM! You tried to burn me down. BAM! You shouldn'tve touched me. BAM!" And do you know what BAM stands for...yep, you guessed it: Blessings And Miracles. BAM, devil, BAM!
And I'm not Baptist, so forgive me, but nobody taught me the roll call you must recite in order to give your testimony. "Giving honor to God, who is the Head of my life. The anointed pastor of this house, first lady, deacons, mothers, pulpit and all the members of this congregation. I bring you greetings on behalf of Greater Mt. Huron AME Missionary Baptist Church, 1234 Michigan Avenue, where Rev. Jeffrey G. Jackson is the pastor...." By time you get through all that, I'm seriously thinking about where I'm going for dinner afterward...and trying not to check my phone for missed texts....
One day I'ma tweet an entire service for y'all in real time, so you can see what I'm talking about.
Why Is It That?
*It rains the first part of every week in Atlanta?
*It rains as soon as you do your hair?
*They love to kidnap little girls in Florida? Every time I see a headline containing the words, "Missing Girl," 9 times out of 10, she's missing in the state of Florida...I love Florida, personally, but if I have girls, maybe that's not the place to settle.
*Most of the gay men you know are hilarious? Like, really, are they born with heightened comic abilities? (Was that stereotypical? Yes. Buttt it's based on personal observation....as is their innate musical abilities, as well.)
*Old black women don't go gray...they go blonde. Women of other races do it too, but honestly, it's more noticeable and (garish) because most often, it conflicts with their skin tones. Thereby, in your effort to look younger, you actually get the opposite effect and wind up dating yourselves.
*It rains as soon as you do your hair?
*They love to kidnap little girls in Florida? Every time I see a headline containing the words, "Missing Girl," 9 times out of 10, she's missing in the state of Florida...I love Florida, personally, but if I have girls, maybe that's not the place to settle.
*Most of the gay men you know are hilarious? Like, really, are they born with heightened comic abilities? (Was that stereotypical? Yes. Buttt it's based on personal observation....as is their innate musical abilities, as well.)
*Old black women don't go gray...they go blonde. Women of other races do it too, but honestly, it's more noticeable and (garish) because most often, it conflicts with their skin tones. Thereby, in your effort to look younger, you actually get the opposite effect and wind up dating yourselves.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Monica: Still Standing
My girl is back, y'all! I love Monica, so I have nothing bad to say about this show of hers on BET. Compared to other shows, I guess all I have to say is, if you're a classy person who's really about your business, then the show can't really make you look like anything else. She does a bit of preaching on each episode, but I'm not mad at that. The lil acoustic concert at the end of each show? Now, that's another story.
Kudos to mama Monica, workin hard to become relevant again. The only thing I pray is that they distinguish btw making a Monica album, and a Keyshia Cole album (bcuz thats what that one Missy Elliott-produced track sounded like). KC has stolen sum of Monica's schtick, a tatted up hood girl who makes hits...or whatnot. Difference is, I ride for Monica, and I just cant get wit KC.
And one time for those BIG head kids....they musta hurt coming out, I swear! But they are cute.
And while I'm talking about BET, I honestly must say that I enjoyed the Hip Hop Awards more than the regular BET Awards!
7 x 70
This is a serious issue.
Ladies are the most forgiving people ever. And we know that's what you're "supposed" to do, butttt we sometimes sit right on the borderline between being "forgiving" and being a wishy-washy, weak female.
I read something a while ago that said, "There's no real harm in being deceived." I mean, you get your feelings hurt; you might be mistrustful of others for a while, but what's the real harm? We can argue that, but honestly, it seems like whenever we're forgiving, we're just kinda giving a dude a chance to evenutally hoe us again..... becuz they usually do. If you forgive but keep your walls up, are you really doing it right? I had sum1 apologize to me not too long ago...said how much they missed talking to me and everything...first I wanted to say OK and ignore them...then that little conscience of mine told me to be a bigger person. BUT now, here it is again, and that person is no longer speaking to me. Again. Yea, we really squashed that beef.
I'ma invite yall to share your stories and let me judge if you were being a good-hearted Christian or if you were just silly and weak. lol
Ladies are the most forgiving people ever. And we know that's what you're "supposed" to do, butttt we sometimes sit right on the borderline between being "forgiving" and being a wishy-washy, weak female.
I read something a while ago that said, "There's no real harm in being deceived." I mean, you get your feelings hurt; you might be mistrustful of others for a while, but what's the real harm? We can argue that, but honestly, it seems like whenever we're forgiving, we're just kinda giving a dude a chance to evenutally hoe us again..... becuz they usually do. If you forgive but keep your walls up, are you really doing it right? I had sum1 apologize to me not too long ago...said how much they missed talking to me and everything...first I wanted to say OK and ignore them...then that little conscience of mine told me to be a bigger person. BUT now, here it is again, and that person is no longer speaking to me. Again. Yea, we really squashed that beef.
I'ma invite yall to share your stories and let me judge if you were being a good-hearted Christian or if you were just silly and weak. lol
You Just Oughta Quit
I'm going to just give you a transcript of a recent conversation with a friend-type guy...i guess I'll say friend, but we all hav ppl we can only handle in small doses. Whenever I see him, I know it wont be long before he says or does something so dumb that I can no longer stand his presence.
Last week when I was tryna outlive the swine flu, I just didn't feel like being bothered by this young man. Of course, he had a calling phase where he thought it was cool to call me like every day. I ignored every call, except for the last one, when my conscience told me, "maybe you should see what he wants."....sometimes, good ppl, it's OK to ignore the voice in your head.
I called him back. This man says, "I know you see I called you today. And twice yesterday, and the day before."
I said: "You aint call me the day before."
He said: "Man, you lyin. Anyway, uh, that dont even matter. What you doin?"
I said: "Nothin."
He said: "Come see me."
******* Ok. At this point, I can't believe he had the balls to say that with a straight face. Like he thought it was gon work. Like he really thought I was gon jump up, run outside to my car, and fly to wherever he was. And whichever young lady actually came over the last time he said that to you, please KYS ************
I said: "I'm straight." (which should not surprise you at all, lol)
DIG HIS RESPONSE: "What you say? You straight? Whaaat? That's how we do now, n*gga? That's how it is now? Whaat?! Alright then." Then he paused, like he really couldnt believe I said anything other than OK. Then he said, "Where you at?"
Me: "My house."
Him: "And you can't come see me? That's how it is now? OK"
Me: "Alright, bye." Click.
No commentary on this one, y'all...well, a little. What kinda chick I look like with a boyfriend, jumpin up cuz anotha dude (with a girl and a baby) decides he wants me to go out of my way to see him...he tried me. he did.
Last week when I was tryna outlive the swine flu, I just didn't feel like being bothered by this young man. Of course, he had a calling phase where he thought it was cool to call me like every day. I ignored every call, except for the last one, when my conscience told me, "maybe you should see what he wants."....sometimes, good ppl, it's OK to ignore the voice in your head.
I called him back. This man says, "I know you see I called you today. And twice yesterday, and the day before."
I said: "You aint call me the day before."
He said: "Man, you lyin. Anyway, uh, that dont even matter. What you doin?"
I said: "Nothin."
He said: "Come see me."
******* Ok. At this point, I can't believe he had the balls to say that with a straight face. Like he thought it was gon work. Like he really thought I was gon jump up, run outside to my car, and fly to wherever he was. And whichever young lady actually came over the last time he said that to you, please KYS ************
I said: "I'm straight." (which should not surprise you at all, lol)
DIG HIS RESPONSE: "What you say? You straight? Whaaat? That's how we do now, n*gga? That's how it is now? Whaat?! Alright then." Then he paused, like he really couldnt believe I said anything other than OK. Then he said, "Where you at?"
Me: "My house."
Him: "And you can't come see me? That's how it is now? OK"
Me: "Alright, bye." Click.
No commentary on this one, y'all...well, a little. What kinda chick I look like with a boyfriend, jumpin up cuz anotha dude (with a girl and a baby) decides he wants me to go out of my way to see him...he tried me. he did.
Try Returning the Favor
Some of us have jobs that allow us to call in for the day. Others of us (mainly these no/low pay gigs) have jobs that have to "document" your absences and require you to find someone to cover your shift.
Well, I promise, people call or text me every day asking me to cover their shift....but it's crickets whenever I need someone to cover for me. Sometimes you wanna be spiteful and say no based on the prinicple of the matter...then you remember that you really could use that money from that extra day!
This is an actual story. No lie:
I texted all the girls I work with last Tuesday. "I'm coming down with something and I feel like crap. Can anyone please work my 9:45-5 shift tomorrow?" Do you know all them heffas ignored me? Except for one, who told me she already worked at that time.
But then this one dizzy girl had the nerve to text me later THE SAME DAY: "Would anyone want to work my 5-close tonight?"
*****Wow, was my first thought. You shoulda sent that to everybody BUT me*******
Then this sharp pencil had the nerve to CALL me and ask, "Did you get my message?"
I paused. Cuz I wanted to reach out and slap her. I said, "Yea, ummmm did you get MY msg. I don't feel good."
The girl cuts me off, "Oh yea yea, that's right...so do u know who WOULD want to work for me, like who would want some hours?"
***** I was so blown by that I didn't know what to say. I shoulda hung up in her d*mn face. I'm like, "Um, try Sara" THEN she texted me the very NEXT day asking me to cover her next Tuesday night shift. smh.
That trick is unreal. When I go back to work, I'ma leave a note by the schedule stating that I am available to NEW PPL only to cover shifts.
Well, I promise, people call or text me every day asking me to cover their shift....but it's crickets whenever I need someone to cover for me. Sometimes you wanna be spiteful and say no based on the prinicple of the matter...then you remember that you really could use that money from that extra day!
This is an actual story. No lie:
I texted all the girls I work with last Tuesday. "I'm coming down with something and I feel like crap. Can anyone please work my 9:45-5 shift tomorrow?" Do you know all them heffas ignored me? Except for one, who told me she already worked at that time.
But then this one dizzy girl had the nerve to text me later THE SAME DAY: "Would anyone want to work my 5-close tonight?"
*****Wow, was my first thought. You shoulda sent that to everybody BUT me*******
Then this sharp pencil had the nerve to CALL me and ask, "Did you get my message?"
I paused. Cuz I wanted to reach out and slap her. I said, "Yea, ummmm did you get MY msg. I don't feel good."
The girl cuts me off, "Oh yea yea, that's right...so do u know who WOULD want to work for me, like who would want some hours?"
***** I was so blown by that I didn't know what to say. I shoulda hung up in her d*mn face. I'm like, "Um, try Sara" THEN she texted me the very NEXT day asking me to cover her next Tuesday night shift. smh.
That trick is unreal. When I go back to work, I'ma leave a note by the schedule stating that I am available to NEW PPL only to cover shifts.
GIVE ME A BREAK!
Yall dudes get on my nerves. Talkin bout you want a "5-Star Chick"; but what the heck is she supposed to get out the deal?
I just saw this dang Yo Gotti video. Now he know he wrong. Want a SUPER-bad chick, but he walkin round with that great big water jug head. *smh* I really didnt know he was that unattractive. I know, I know, "looks aren't everything" - a phrase most often spoken by women. They want you to be perfect, though...but you posed to chase him with that hard-to-get-around head.
And he looks 5 feet tall and slightly cross eyed.
How many stars YOU bringin to the table?...I got mine, but I'm just sayin, y'all stay at a two talkin bout u want a 5...it aint right.
I just saw this dang Yo Gotti video. Now he know he wrong. Want a SUPER-bad chick, but he walkin round with that great big water jug head. *smh* I really didnt know he was that unattractive. I know, I know, "looks aren't everything" - a phrase most often spoken by women. They want you to be perfect, though...but you posed to chase him with that hard-to-get-around head.
And he looks 5 feet tall and slightly cross eyed.
How many stars YOU bringin to the table?...I got mine, but I'm just sayin, y'all stay at a two talkin bout u want a 5...it aint right.
It's the God in Me
Definitely not hatin'....I've enjoyed this song since I bought the album (last year)....and it's certainly a good idea that if you're going to try to reach people, use something they would like. BUT you can't convince me that "God in Me" doesn't sound just like Trey Songz "Invented Sex"/Letoya and Luda "Regret"/Jamie Foxx "Blame It." If you click on the following links, it sounds like one continuous song. (It's the God in You must regret the day that you left A-a-a--a-al-cohol...YUPPP!
NO WONDER suma y'all don't know this is a gospel song! (it also sounds like T-Pain produced it)
NO WONDER suma y'all don't know this is a gospel song! (it also sounds like T-Pain produced it)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Code of Silence
I've said this in so many words before, but let me be clear: I hate "up North" dudes. Having gone to school in Florida (and visited a couple other places in my lifetime), I really do think you all are the most arrogant and rude group of brothas there is.
Beyond being brainwashed to the point of internalizing mainstream standards of beauty (as in, trust me on this, when I was a waitress with natural hair I made no money. Wheneva i threw sum long weave in it, a sista was eatin good that week...or the case of a guy who told me my fuschia birthday dress was tight, but I shoulda found sum fuschia pumps to match. I'm like, if it's that deep, YOU give me $80 to go to Baker's and find sum matching stripper shoes, then, damn), I draw my conclusion from sumthing more simple that that.
Basically, it's this: Northern guys do not speak to women they do not find attractive. They literally do not acknowledge those women. They will not hold the door open, they will not say good morning, or respond when you do. They don't see you.
No woman wants to be so vain as to think that every man who speaks to her is trynna get on...but really, guys, you've proven this to be the fact.
Southern guys and older gentleman speak to every body. They'll carry your groceries in your house and don't need your name or your number. They'll chat with you in line at the bank because, well...ur there and he's there, and you both have time to kill. They don't care about that other stuff; they're just social and/or polite, or they find it entertaining to chat. But Up North guys? Nah...
And one thing that really blows my mind is this: If you are brought sumwhere by a guy, the other men there will not speak to you. Period. If the guy who invited you does not introduce you, you will not be greeted. I've even been over a guy's house for a considerable length of time around dudes who didn't think it was reasonable to say Hi, for whatever reason.
If the guy your with introduces you, the other dude says "what up doe?" and keeps it movin...that's the whole exchange. Maybe when you leave, they say to your guy, "D*mn, N*gga, what happened to Keisha? She was straight..." Your guy might ask, "she dont look good too?" and they probly say, "she straight, but damn, Keisha was tight tho"...or sumthin...I really dont kno.
At any rate, I just think it's rude of yall not to speak to females you don't wanna get on. It's just a basic acknowledgment of your presence; doesn't mean I think you're my man now because we exchanged salutations....on the same hand, some of you all really do think that because I said Hello, I was giving you an invitation to the drawls...NO, boo-boo, that's how YOU think, not me.
Beyond being brainwashed to the point of internalizing mainstream standards of beauty (as in, trust me on this, when I was a waitress with natural hair I made no money. Wheneva i threw sum long weave in it, a sista was eatin good that week...or the case of a guy who told me my fuschia birthday dress was tight, but I shoulda found sum fuschia pumps to match. I'm like, if it's that deep, YOU give me $80 to go to Baker's and find sum matching stripper shoes, then, damn), I draw my conclusion from sumthing more simple that that.
Basically, it's this: Northern guys do not speak to women they do not find attractive. They literally do not acknowledge those women. They will not hold the door open, they will not say good morning, or respond when you do. They don't see you.
No woman wants to be so vain as to think that every man who speaks to her is trynna get on...but really, guys, you've proven this to be the fact.
Southern guys and older gentleman speak to every body. They'll carry your groceries in your house and don't need your name or your number. They'll chat with you in line at the bank because, well...ur there and he's there, and you both have time to kill. They don't care about that other stuff; they're just social and/or polite, or they find it entertaining to chat. But Up North guys? Nah...
And one thing that really blows my mind is this: If you are brought sumwhere by a guy, the other men there will not speak to you. Period. If the guy who invited you does not introduce you, you will not be greeted. I've even been over a guy's house for a considerable length of time around dudes who didn't think it was reasonable to say Hi, for whatever reason.
If the guy your with introduces you, the other dude says "what up doe?" and keeps it movin...that's the whole exchange. Maybe when you leave, they say to your guy, "D*mn, N*gga, what happened to Keisha? She was straight..." Your guy might ask, "she dont look good too?" and they probly say, "she straight, but damn, Keisha was tight tho"...or sumthin...I really dont kno.
At any rate, I just think it's rude of yall not to speak to females you don't wanna get on. It's just a basic acknowledgment of your presence; doesn't mean I think you're my man now because we exchanged salutations....on the same hand, some of you all really do think that because I said Hello, I was giving you an invitation to the drawls...NO, boo-boo, that's how YOU think, not me.
Addendum to Fear of Rejection
A friend of mine posed this alternative to shut down the unwanted gentlemen callers: Wear a ring on the finger reserved for wedding bands.
Well, I tried that when I was a waitress. It does not curb the convos you don't want to have, they just go like this:
"Wait, I know that's not a wedding ring...is it? You married?"
You: "Yes, I am."
NOW THIS IS WHERE THEY KEEP TALKING TO TRY TO ASSESS WHATEVER ADVANTAGE THEY MIGHT HAVE:
"Oh, for real...You happy? Is he treating you right?"
You: "Yep"
Them: "Oh, damn, the good ones always taken...make sure you tell him he's a lucky man."
Ummmm, my n*gga dont wanna hear that sh*t! I'm supposed to come home and say, "Boo, this dude at the store said to tell you you're a lucky man."
...what is he supposed to say in response? I know what I'd say, "Tell that whack n*gga f*ck you."
And let's address this, "Is he taking care of you?" question. I haven't had a dude yet to bankroll my weave :o( but I do KNOW that A lot of guys consider this to mean, he pays for you to get your hair done every two weeks and pays for your visits to the nail salon. They do this in place of things like, say, hmmm...being loyal, for example. If that's "Taking care of your woman," I guess I'll keep rockin with what I got.
Well, I tried that when I was a waitress. It does not curb the convos you don't want to have, they just go like this:
"Wait, I know that's not a wedding ring...is it? You married?"
You: "Yes, I am."
NOW THIS IS WHERE THEY KEEP TALKING TO TRY TO ASSESS WHATEVER ADVANTAGE THEY MIGHT HAVE:
"Oh, for real...You happy? Is he treating you right?"
You: "Yep"
Them: "Oh, damn, the good ones always taken...make sure you tell him he's a lucky man."
Ummmm, my n*gga dont wanna hear that sh*t! I'm supposed to come home and say, "Boo, this dude at the store said to tell you you're a lucky man."
...what is he supposed to say in response? I know what I'd say, "Tell that whack n*gga f*ck you."
And let's address this, "Is he taking care of you?" question. I haven't had a dude yet to bankroll my weave :o( but I do KNOW that A lot of guys consider this to mean, he pays for you to get your hair done every two weeks and pays for your visits to the nail salon. They do this in place of things like, say, hmmm...being loyal, for example. If that's "Taking care of your woman," I guess I'll keep rockin with what I got.
Quick Hits II
1. For anyone who's ever been a cashier, why is it that ppl put the money on the counter, but expect you to put the change in their hand?
2. Why is it that the lamest, most low-paying jobs are always the most strict? Don't do this dont do that dont wear that never say this dont ever call off dont ever be 1 minute late etc etc etc...for damn $7.40? Y'all act like this is a four-star, world-class, high-profile, seriously important to the success of our contry-type enterprise or sumthin, dang....
3. And just because I'm curious, can you make an ice cream float using beer?
2. Why is it that the lamest, most low-paying jobs are always the most strict? Don't do this dont do that dont wear that never say this dont ever call off dont ever be 1 minute late etc etc etc...for damn $7.40? Y'all act like this is a four-star, world-class, high-profile, seriously important to the success of our contry-type enterprise or sumthin, dang....
3. And just because I'm curious, can you make an ice cream float using beer?
Rules of Etiquette
In one of those, "Is it just me; am I trippin moments?" I'd like to put in the middle of a scenario and have you tell me who should do what:
Let's say you are hanging with your significant other. Perhaps the two of you are at his parents' house in the kitchen, when his mother walks in. Now, I've been taught that you speak when you enter a room...but since it's her house (or w/e her logic may be), are you supposed to speak first?
My ppl speak when they walk in the house, regardless (cuz really, that's what you're supposed to do)...but evyrbody's parents aren't like that; so is it her job to speak or mine?
Let's say you are hanging with your significant other. Perhaps the two of you are at his parents' house in the kitchen, when his mother walks in. Now, I've been taught that you speak when you enter a room...but since it's her house (or w/e her logic may be), are you supposed to speak first?
My ppl speak when they walk in the house, regardless (cuz really, that's what you're supposed to do)...but evyrbody's parents aren't like that; so is it her job to speak or mine?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Fear of Rejection
We understand that girls are like buses: miss one, next 15 one comin'....(Thanks, Gucci) With that said, for sum guys it's nuthin to stand around and holla at girls all day long. If she says, Yes, cool...you got another number for sport (cuz u likely wont call)...but if she says no, then you cuss her out and keep going.
So for women like me who are tired of being called b*tches and whatnot, the question is: HOW EXACTLY WOULD U LIKE TO BE REJECTED?
Because rejection is inevitable.
It's not that I'm so gorgeous that I just get hit on allll day. It's just that of the men who do hit on me, I'm not interested in 99% of them. And for that other 1%, it doesn't matter anyway bcuz I'm unavailable.
AND I KNOW you've dealt with girls with boyfriends before who still let you hit...which is why when I say I have a man, you keep talkin. But I'm not that girl (anymore, tryin sumthin different in the 09), so what can I say that is a proper deterrent?
Currently, as I walk into the gas station and hear the shouts of, "Scuse me!" "Hey Sexy!" "How you doin?" etc etc, I just ignore you and keep walking. That turns into, "You too good to talk to me?" and "Damn you cant slow down for a minute?" and "You cant tell me your name?"
At which point I say "Hello, how are you" without even looking at you. Or I say, "Donna." Then I keep walking....y'all dont seem to like that very much, either. And if you actually stop what ur doing to follow me, Oh buddy, that just annoys me even more. Cuz I definitely heard you the first time...I just didn't wanna speak. Rollin up on me and repeating urself certainly won't change that fact.
But seriously, what do you want me to say to you? There's no need for this bs convo you wanna try to have:
"Scuse me; What's your name? You seein sum1 special? Can I call you sometime?"
Call me for what? Ur ugly, or u have on a tall tee (still), or u look like you're still in high school, OR you look like you have kids my age, or ur breath stinks OR ur teeth are in ur mouth with their own perogative, OR you didn't even take the time to brush your hair this morning, OR you said sumthin stupid like, "You should take my number down." No dummy, you approached me, there4 I have NO incentive to call you... You don't care if I'm seeing someone or not, so why did you even ask? And my name doesnt matter cuz I don't wanna know yours. AND most of yall illiterate fools couldn't hold a convo with me for 5 minutes, trust me. I'm like, dang, can I just get this bag of chips right quick without having to find a way to reject sumbody today?
Maybe I should just run by, throw my hand in ur face and shout "NO, N*GGA, DAMN! GET OUT MY FACE!"
I mean,for real. The guys who are brave enuf to holla are ALWAYS the unacceptables. Since I know this from jump, by ignoring you I'm saving you sum trouble. But y'all seem to have a problem with that. If I'm nice and I listen to your petition, state my name and then say, "I'm straight/I'm good" or "No, thank you" then you wanna ask me why? If I ask sumone for their number and they say no, I dont need to ask why...but yall do. At which point, I gotta stop with the fake smile and get hostile.
So in order to avoid all this, guys, tell us, since you must get rejected, how do you prefer us to do so???
So for women like me who are tired of being called b*tches and whatnot, the question is: HOW EXACTLY WOULD U LIKE TO BE REJECTED?
Because rejection is inevitable.
It's not that I'm so gorgeous that I just get hit on allll day. It's just that of the men who do hit on me, I'm not interested in 99% of them. And for that other 1%, it doesn't matter anyway bcuz I'm unavailable.
AND I KNOW you've dealt with girls with boyfriends before who still let you hit...which is why when I say I have a man, you keep talkin. But I'm not that girl (anymore, tryin sumthin different in the 09), so what can I say that is a proper deterrent?
Currently, as I walk into the gas station and hear the shouts of, "Scuse me!" "Hey Sexy!" "How you doin?" etc etc, I just ignore you and keep walking. That turns into, "You too good to talk to me?" and "Damn you cant slow down for a minute?" and "You cant tell me your name?"
At which point I say "Hello, how are you" without even looking at you. Or I say, "Donna." Then I keep walking....y'all dont seem to like that very much, either. And if you actually stop what ur doing to follow me, Oh buddy, that just annoys me even more. Cuz I definitely heard you the first time...I just didn't wanna speak. Rollin up on me and repeating urself certainly won't change that fact.
But seriously, what do you want me to say to you? There's no need for this bs convo you wanna try to have:
"Scuse me; What's your name? You seein sum1 special? Can I call you sometime?"
Call me for what? Ur ugly, or u have on a tall tee (still), or u look like you're still in high school, OR you look like you have kids my age, or ur breath stinks OR ur teeth are in ur mouth with their own perogative, OR you didn't even take the time to brush your hair this morning, OR you said sumthin stupid like, "You should take my number down." No dummy, you approached me, there4 I have NO incentive to call you... You don't care if I'm seeing someone or not, so why did you even ask? And my name doesnt matter cuz I don't wanna know yours. AND most of yall illiterate fools couldn't hold a convo with me for 5 minutes, trust me. I'm like, dang, can I just get this bag of chips right quick without having to find a way to reject sumbody today?
Maybe I should just run by, throw my hand in ur face and shout "NO, N*GGA, DAMN! GET OUT MY FACE!"
I mean,for real. The guys who are brave enuf to holla are ALWAYS the unacceptables. Since I know this from jump, by ignoring you I'm saving you sum trouble. But y'all seem to have a problem with that. If I'm nice and I listen to your petition, state my name and then say, "I'm straight/I'm good" or "No, thank you" then you wanna ask me why? If I ask sumone for their number and they say no, I dont need to ask why...but yall do. At which point, I gotta stop with the fake smile and get hostile.
So in order to avoid all this, guys, tell us, since you must get rejected, how do you prefer us to do so???
Blvd of Broken Dreams
Thus far, I've been to cities such as Miami, NYC, Chicago, Tallahassee, New Orleans, Paris, London, and many more.
But nowhere have I seen as many bums as in downtown Detroit. OMG!!!!
I know, I know, 'But for the grace of God, there go I," but WHY WHY Why is it that winos and crazy folk ALWAYS seem to have $1.50 for the bus???!
One week I'm going to send my sister on the bus with a hidden camera and let y'all experience what she sees for a week...cuz the shyt is amazing. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the he-shes...you never know what to expect on the DOT...or when you'll reach your destination. (Don't take my idea, ppl!)
But one thing I do know, is all the crazy, homeless folks seem to either be heading to Downtown Detroit...or leaving from it. It's like they convene for their morning meeting, get their assignments for the day, disperse, then scrape up enuf change to come back tomorrow and do it again.
Really, where do they go? And if they have sumwhere to go at nite, then who is supposed to watch them during the day? .....Cuz they have failed.
But nowhere have I seen as many bums as in downtown Detroit. OMG!!!!
I know, I know, 'But for the grace of God, there go I," but WHY WHY Why is it that winos and crazy folk ALWAYS seem to have $1.50 for the bus???!
One week I'm going to send my sister on the bus with a hidden camera and let y'all experience what she sees for a week...cuz the shyt is amazing. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the he-shes...you never know what to expect on the DOT...or when you'll reach your destination. (Don't take my idea, ppl!)
But one thing I do know, is all the crazy, homeless folks seem to either be heading to Downtown Detroit...or leaving from it. It's like they convene for their morning meeting, get their assignments for the day, disperse, then scrape up enuf change to come back tomorrow and do it again.
Really, where do they go? And if they have sumwhere to go at nite, then who is supposed to watch them during the day? .....Cuz they have failed.
Been a Long Time, Shouldn'ta Left You
HELLLOOOO GOOD PPL!
DevaDonna is so sorry, this is not how u treat ppl you love - just up and leavin without a "so long" or a "hold on." I gots to do better.
So today, as usual after a long absence, I have quite a few things to talk about. And this is where I'd like to begin:
With this funny ass pic I snapped at the grocery store today.
The tagline says: "Start Your Day With A Roar!"
Breakfast of Champions? I think not....
DevaDonna is so sorry, this is not how u treat ppl you love - just up and leavin without a "so long" or a "hold on." I gots to do better.
So today, as usual after a long absence, I have quite a few things to talk about. And this is where I'd like to begin:
With this funny ass pic I snapped at the grocery store today.
The tagline says: "Start Your Day With A Roar!"
Breakfast of Champions? I think not....
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Quotable
Just some tidbits I heard that made me struggle not to laugh at the wrong time...
"You can have a GED, PhD, and any of them other alphabets!"
-Someone at church who was trying to express how little he cared about certain "status" markers
"My father is a veteran who served his country, and he never received his benefits..but he still has his insanity, thank Jehovah God."
-I know what you really meant, baby girl...
"When my mother was alive, she took care of my father. This new wife he got won't even fold up his socks."
-Dang, that's tough Paw-Paw
"When is she gon call me back? Is she gon call me back today?" - A lady asked me this when I told her the person she was calling for was not in the office
"M'am, I'm not sure when she'll be back in, but she will certainly follow up with you when she returns." - My answer to this dumb question.
"Oh, you not sure? See, that's what's wrong with the city of Detroit, nobody ever sure. Nobody dont know nothing. Nobody ever in the office when you need em. We don't need this mess in the city, we need somebody who gon care about the citizens." - Whoooaa, mama! I didn't think it called for all that, but I guess she's not a fan of uncertainty...
"You can have a GED, PhD, and any of them other alphabets!"
-Someone at church who was trying to express how little he cared about certain "status" markers
"My father is a veteran who served his country, and he never received his benefits..but he still has his insanity, thank Jehovah God."
-I know what you really meant, baby girl...
"When my mother was alive, she took care of my father. This new wife he got won't even fold up his socks."
-Dang, that's tough Paw-Paw
"When is she gon call me back? Is she gon call me back today?" - A lady asked me this when I told her the person she was calling for was not in the office
"M'am, I'm not sure when she'll be back in, but she will certainly follow up with you when she returns." - My answer to this dumb question.
"Oh, you not sure? See, that's what's wrong with the city of Detroit, nobody ever sure. Nobody dont know nothing. Nobody ever in the office when you need em. We don't need this mess in the city, we need somebody who gon care about the citizens." - Whoooaa, mama! I didn't think it called for all that, but I guess she's not a fan of uncertainty...
Excuses
Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, which build monuments of nothingness. And those who dwell upon them seldom amount to anything more.
...or something like that. My high school English teacher used to say this almost daily, and for some reason, a friend of mine dropped this quote in conversation last week...and it's recently been reinforced in other ways, as well.
I've just come to the realization that people who use excuses weren't going to do whatever activity they are excusing themselves from anyway - they just needed a way to rationalize their lack of intent. I'm from the school of "Get it done, by any means necessary," and it has everything to do with the way I've been raised. I could get 5 A's and two B's, and no matter how I tried to explain the B's, moms and pops didn't understand anything less than perfection. If you have ever had a conversation with my mom, you know what I'm talking about. She's about taking care of business, and when she has something she wants to accomplish, if one person says No, she keeps going until she gets a Yes. It's only logical that I've come to internalize such standards.
This is not to say I've never made excuses - not at all. I just noticed that ppl who hand you excuses really only do so to make themselves feel better...the rest of us still see it as BS, in case you didn't know.
For example, ppl who say, "Oh no, I can't go to that church, they be in there all day, they stay too late for me." OK, but I see your FB photos all in the club every week...and you know, it's pretty late when you go TO the club; much more so when you leave. But I guess...
OR how about: "I don't like the way they talk to me when I go there." If that's the case, then don't go to work, don't go to college and don't even go to McDonald's - because bosses, professors, fast food ppl and anyone with an iota of authority will exercise their option to talk crazy at will. But only in the case of church (for example) is this a strong enuf deterrent, right? OK....
OR: "They talk about me." How do you know? You don't go anyway. Did you know perfect strangers talk about you at the mall, on the street, in the parking lot at work and anywhere else? If being talked about is such a concern, you should never leave your house, lol.
Bottom line is, you just weren't going to do it anyway. You don't have to make excuses. We all have things we just don't want to do...you don't owe anyone an explanation, but if you decide to give one, just remember, "Excuses are the tools of the incompetent."
(AND NO, for all my hypersensitive readers, this isn't directed at any particular person. It's only directed at whomever it applies to...as with all things.)
This Was Minor,
But I guess you should be thankful for all blessings, big or small.
Yesterday, I was unreasonably broke. I decided to catch the bus home from work in order to preserve the little gas in my vehicle, and while I was at the bus stop this dude walked up and asked for a dollar so he could get on the bus. He said he only had .50 cents. Well, he was kinda young, so you know he didn't start off begging; he eased his way into it. ("Did the Woodward bus come yet?)
I said, "Baby boy, how was you gon ride the bus with .50 cents? what kinda bus was you gon ride?"...but I gave him the dollar, for some reason. This man shook my hand and said, "Thank you, auntie." Idk how I felt about that.
Anyway, when my bus came and I got on, I guess I lucked up on a friendly bus driver. My lil wrinkled dollar wouldn't slide in the machine, and I said, "Why it dont want my dolla?" (Yes, I'm sorry, I did actually say that.)
He said, "Cuz it's raggedy as hell. Go'n and sit down girl."
SO anyway, long story short, I gave a dollar away and wound up getting to save the dollar I had. Praise Him!
Yesterday, I was unreasonably broke. I decided to catch the bus home from work in order to preserve the little gas in my vehicle, and while I was at the bus stop this dude walked up and asked for a dollar so he could get on the bus. He said he only had .50 cents. Well, he was kinda young, so you know he didn't start off begging; he eased his way into it. ("Did the Woodward bus come yet?)
I said, "Baby boy, how was you gon ride the bus with .50 cents? what kinda bus was you gon ride?"...but I gave him the dollar, for some reason. This man shook my hand and said, "Thank you, auntie." Idk how I felt about that.
Anyway, when my bus came and I got on, I guess I lucked up on a friendly bus driver. My lil wrinkled dollar wouldn't slide in the machine, and I said, "Why it dont want my dolla?" (Yes, I'm sorry, I did actually say that.)
He said, "Cuz it's raggedy as hell. Go'n and sit down girl."
SO anyway, long story short, I gave a dollar away and wound up getting to save the dollar I had. Praise Him!
And We Won't Stop...
Or maybe we will.
It was just announced that Diddy has signed a new deal with Universal Music Group's Interscope division. BUT the Bad Boy roster and label will remain with Warner Music Group.
This Dirty Money "Last Train to Paris" album will be released by Interscope/Bad Boy, whenever they get around to it, but moving forward, Interscope will handle all Diddy's future ventures - including a NEW label.
I don't even know who's still on Bad Boy, but I'll miss Diddy's ad libs and his reppin' "Bad Boy forever." We knew the Shiny Suit Era had ended, but this move officially put the nail in the coffin.
I mean, I guess Bad Boy will still exist...but Sean Combs won't be the face of it anymore, so we'll see what happens with that.
Let's pour some out for all the Bad Boy artists (who were wronged by Sean Combs):
(Minister) Ma$e (hahhaha...how u get clowned by Tony Yayo?...and the late Pimp C)
Loon (who is strate-up down for Bin Laden right now)
Faith Evans (crack kills, but she survived. Physically, not career-wise)
112 (If they came back right now, they'd hit No. 1...but yall had to make it a 112 vs Jagged Edge battle every dang time, when 112 was clearly superior.)
Black Rob (Whoa! is right...where tha hell u at, my dude?)
Shyne (We won't even go here)
Carl Thomas (who left us with a string of hits, only to disappear into the abyss. Had grown men singin they're "Emotional"- and feelin that ish)
Da Band (Dy-lan spit hot fire...and Sarah gettin choked up by her raggedy mans)
AND EVEN
Mary J Blige (who recently admitted that she was supposed to be the First Lady of Bad Boy, and she was bitter about Faith takin that spot for a minute)
....Who am I forgetting, yall?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
If you haven't guessed it by now, I am ride or die for Tyler Perry. And Taraji P. Henson. I was dying to see "I Can Do Bad All by Myself," and I'll be honest, I didn't even have high expectations. I just wanted to support black folk making major motion pictures with nation-wide distribution. (Even though I don't want to see "Precious," but that's another story.)
A number of ppl disliked the movie for a number of reasons. They can list many issues, and here are just a few:
1. Why was the little girl's attitude so bad? It didn't have to be that bad. Why didn't she even say thank you when Sandino bought her brother's medical supplies?
2. Why did Sandino just sit there and let that man go off on him without saying a word? If he wasn't even Mexcian, why did he let that fool call him "Mexico"?
3. When does April's man work if he's at her house all day and night?
4. Why do April and Sandino leave their wedding to jump on a stage and attend a Tanya concert? Why was Tanya's song about you can't keep a good woman down, at a moment when she just got married? Why wasn't the song about them, and their love?
5. What was up with that god-AWFUL scene in the kitchen when April was singing that church song like she was possessed?
6. Why was there little to no chemistry between Taraji and Adam Rodriguez, and what the heck was she talking about when she said 'Why did you hug me like that?' That lil hug looked lame to me.
To this I say - people, people, people, you're asking for too much. You want a TP movie with character development and no unanswered questions? You want all loose ends to be tied and every detail to be realistic and logical? I'm sorry, that's too much to ask. Theater requires overdramatization, while film allows you to be more subtle, so there's still some adjustments to be made in his writing. That's why the bad guys are sooo extra bad. They have to jump out and say, "Hi, I'm the bad guy! Watch out for me, I'm evil."
For a Tyler Perry movie, all you need is a handsome leading man
and a pretty leading lady. The lady must have a grudge over some wrong that happened in her childhood. (Usually molestation of some sort.) With the man's help and with a church scene in there too (that reminds her of what her grandma used to say about trusting in the Lord when she was little), she gets over it and falls in love. That's it. That's the formula. Films that have broken this mold ("Why Did I Get Married?" and "The Family That Preys") were supremely engaging and entertaining. But everything else sticks to the script.
I love TP to life, so I keep watching anyway. If you want a little more than that, like some editorial growth, for example, then I'm sorry. IDK what to tell you.
"Revolutionary Road"
At the beginning of the year, the bf and I had a goal to watch all the hoity-toity Oscar movies that won big, but most people had never heard of. "Slumdog Millionaire" was good, "In Bruges" with Colin Farrell was good, and last night we finally got along to "Revolutionary Road" with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. IDK what it is with this duo, but they are greatttt together. If you're scared of marriage like me, u might not want to watch it, lol. It's directed by Sam Mendes, who directed "American Beauty," so there is a similar theme of having the perfect little suburban life and not being fulfilled with it.
In the case of Leo and Kate, when they met as two carefree young people, everything was fun and they had a desire to be great one day. Seven years and two kids later, real life kind of set in and the lives they wanted to lead all along still haven't begun. It causes unhappiness for them personally and destruction for their marriage. Kate comes up with a plan to escape from the hopelessness of everyday life and get back to their dreams, but, well...sometimes ppl stick with what's safe and comfortable. You should check it out and see how everything pans out. The acting was great from everyone involved, and it's an amazing film.
In the case of Leo and Kate, when they met as two carefree young people, everything was fun and they had a desire to be great one day. Seven years and two kids later, real life kind of set in and the lives they wanted to lead all along still haven't begun. It causes unhappiness for them personally and destruction for their marriage. Kate comes up with a plan to escape from the hopelessness of everyday life and get back to their dreams, but, well...sometimes ppl stick with what's safe and comfortable. You should check it out and see how everything pans out. The acting was great from everyone involved, and it's an amazing film.
Yayyy!
For those of you who watched "The Game" and thought that Kelly Pitts looked familiar, well, she should have. She used to be on the "Sweet Valley High" TV show with her twin sister.
Before my dad purged his house of all books he thought were "trash," I was on a mission to read all the Sweet Valley High books, while my sister was ride or die for "The Baby-Sitter's Club." Well, the chick who wrote the movie "Juno" shopped around a new version of a Sweet Valley TV show - and it will be in the works pretty soon. U know they're bringing everything else back these days, from 90210 to Melrose Place...we'll see how SVH turns out, and while they're at it, why not reintroduce the BSC girls?
My Heart is So Heavy
Irony of ironies: When I was a freshman, I met a young man when I was a member of the Judicial Branch of the Student Government Association. If I remember correctly, we were both defense attorneys. He was a year older, and though I did not stay in SGA, he went on to get higher positions withing the J-Branch. As a sophomore, I joined a business fraternity, and he became one of my brothers.
Today he was sentenced to 7 years in prison. As I was graduating from school, the newspaper broke a story about a grade-changing scandal. Well, apparently since I've been gone, they found the three students responsible for hacking the school's Registrar's Office computer system, changing grades and changing out-of-state residency to in-state for numerous students. The other two parties copped a plea deal, and it seems that if he had admitted guilt then he would have received a lesser sentence as well. Charges of conspiracy, fraud, etc etc.... I understand it was wrong, but it's tough to imagine that at only 24 years old, his future and his goals have come to a screeching halt.
"Do the crime, do the time"...OK..."It's a federal offense..." OK. I know, I know, but he is certainly someone who understands what the legal system does to young black men. If he acted wrongfully anyway, then clearly, he didn't think he would get caught. "Pride comes before the fall" I know. But he is going to be locked away with murderers, rapists and all sorts of heartless criminials...and I cannot help but feel sorry because I know him to be bright, focused, intelligent, determined, and to possess all sorts of other characteristics that should have him on a path to success.
I hope the sentence is appealed and that perhaps he will face less time, but either way, prison time will be served. That's inevitable. And it ruins the chanches of taking the Bar exam and gaining the type of employment afterward that he is capable of obtaining. I won't name him - it wouldn't take much research for you to find out who he is and read the story for yourselves, but my point is that my heart is heavy rght now. I hate to see a young person with so much ahead of them have it all taken away. I hate what it will do to his family and I hate the things that he will likely have to go through in that place. I'm praying for grace and mercy and that he just manages to make it through. I'm done with that "everything happens for a reason" theory," but I do hope that when it's all over, he will be able to overcome all the adversity and still reach a bright future.
And while I'm at it - If you love someone, you really should do anything you can to keep them from being wrong. We make our own choices, but you still have an absolute responsibility to tap someone on the shoulder and say, maybe that's not such a good idea; Have you thought about what would happen if...? And if or when they do not make the wrong choice, love them enuf to help them recover.
Today he was sentenced to 7 years in prison. As I was graduating from school, the newspaper broke a story about a grade-changing scandal. Well, apparently since I've been gone, they found the three students responsible for hacking the school's Registrar's Office computer system, changing grades and changing out-of-state residency to in-state for numerous students. The other two parties copped a plea deal, and it seems that if he had admitted guilt then he would have received a lesser sentence as well. Charges of conspiracy, fraud, etc etc.... I understand it was wrong, but it's tough to imagine that at only 24 years old, his future and his goals have come to a screeching halt.
"Do the crime, do the time"...OK..."It's a federal offense..." OK. I know, I know, but he is certainly someone who understands what the legal system does to young black men. If he acted wrongfully anyway, then clearly, he didn't think he would get caught. "Pride comes before the fall" I know. But he is going to be locked away with murderers, rapists and all sorts of heartless criminials...and I cannot help but feel sorry because I know him to be bright, focused, intelligent, determined, and to possess all sorts of other characteristics that should have him on a path to success.
I hope the sentence is appealed and that perhaps he will face less time, but either way, prison time will be served. That's inevitable. And it ruins the chanches of taking the Bar exam and gaining the type of employment afterward that he is capable of obtaining. I won't name him - it wouldn't take much research for you to find out who he is and read the story for yourselves, but my point is that my heart is heavy rght now. I hate to see a young person with so much ahead of them have it all taken away. I hate what it will do to his family and I hate the things that he will likely have to go through in that place. I'm praying for grace and mercy and that he just manages to make it through. I'm done with that "everything happens for a reason" theory," but I do hope that when it's all over, he will be able to overcome all the adversity and still reach a bright future.
And while I'm at it - If you love someone, you really should do anything you can to keep them from being wrong. We make our own choices, but you still have an absolute responsibility to tap someone on the shoulder and say, maybe that's not such a good idea; Have you thought about what would happen if...? And if or when they do not make the wrong choice, love them enuf to help them recover.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Our Daily Bread
I'm sure at some point in your life, you have seen those little white booklets called, "Our Daily Bread." They're a free, pocket-sized publication with a scripture and anecdote for every day. We get them at church, and while I cannot say I always read them in the past, I have recently been trying to take two minutes of my day to read the encouraging notes before I begin my work day. It's an effort to get on the right track before I even leave the house.
Monday's word was about the Pharisees, who really just went through the pomp and circumstance of religious practices. Jesus saw that their hearts weren't clean. Showing love for others was an insincere display for them.
What struck me about the passage was the last paragraph the author wrote: "The proof of spiritual maturity is not how 'pure' you are but your awareness of your impurity. That very awareness opens the door to God's grace."
It seems to me that ppl who accuse Christians of thinking that we are perfect really have it all wrong. By being mature enough to recognize our own impurities, it enables us to include ourselves in that group when we say 'nobody's perfect.' We ask for our flaws to be apparent to us so that we can work toward becoming a perfect being like Christ. In the meantime, because we know we have impurities just like everyone else, it should motivate us to operate from a place of compassion and extend greater love to those around us (than those who do not profess to have the love of Christ.) u get me??? It doesn't always happen that way, we know, but it's something you have to work on daily.
Monday's word was about the Pharisees, who really just went through the pomp and circumstance of religious practices. Jesus saw that their hearts weren't clean. Showing love for others was an insincere display for them.
What struck me about the passage was the last paragraph the author wrote: "The proof of spiritual maturity is not how 'pure' you are but your awareness of your impurity. That very awareness opens the door to God's grace."
It seems to me that ppl who accuse Christians of thinking that we are perfect really have it all wrong. By being mature enough to recognize our own impurities, it enables us to include ourselves in that group when we say 'nobody's perfect.' We ask for our flaws to be apparent to us so that we can work toward becoming a perfect being like Christ. In the meantime, because we know we have impurities just like everyone else, it should motivate us to operate from a place of compassion and extend greater love to those around us (than those who do not profess to have the love of Christ.) u get me??? It doesn't always happen that way, we know, but it's something you have to work on daily.
Strip Club Fans Unite
I know I mentioned this to you all before, but today is the day. The Detroit City Council will be voting on whether to enact some very stringent strip club ordinances. I've been getting calls allllll week in favor of the following proposals:
Banning alcohol in strip clubs
No nudity, and requiring dancers to wear pasties on their breasts
No touching of the dancers, and the stage must be at least 18 inches high
No lap dances
No VIP rooms
I'm not a fan of strip clubs, personally. But these business are willing to set up shop in Detroit when others are not. The moral majority that is against them is disregarding the revenue these establishments generate. If the proposed changes take place, that will all change. I'm hearing arguments like, "They cause trouble and we don't need that filth in our city." I disagree completely. I think they prevent the patrons from being in the streets causing trouble, actually, and it is a very popular recreational activity these days for men and women of all ages and races. Running the clubs out of town = job loss and revenue loss. Stripping is like a last-resort job, so with unemployment the way it is in Detroit, where do you expect the hoes to work if you drive their customers away?
If you want to see how your Council people vote, watch live at 2 p.m. at the city's Web site:
http://www.detroitmi.gov/legislative/
Banning alcohol in strip clubs
No nudity, and requiring dancers to wear pasties on their breasts
No touching of the dancers, and the stage must be at least 18 inches high
No lap dances
No VIP rooms
I'm not a fan of strip clubs, personally. But these business are willing to set up shop in Detroit when others are not. The moral majority that is against them is disregarding the revenue these establishments generate. If the proposed changes take place, that will all change. I'm hearing arguments like, "They cause trouble and we don't need that filth in our city." I disagree completely. I think they prevent the patrons from being in the streets causing trouble, actually, and it is a very popular recreational activity these days for men and women of all ages and races. Running the clubs out of town = job loss and revenue loss. Stripping is like a last-resort job, so with unemployment the way it is in Detroit, where do you expect the hoes to work if you drive their customers away?
If you want to see how your Council people vote, watch live at 2 p.m. at the city's Web site:
http://www.detroitmi.gov/legislative/
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Confederate Hero
The House formally rebuked Rep. Joe Wilson on Tuesday for his outburst during President Obama's speech on health care. A rebuke just means we want to publicly acknowledge that what you did was wrong and request an apology. It's not even a real punishment.
But for some reason, many people felt like that was too severe. This is how the voting went.
"Seven Republicans joined 233 Democrats in approving the resolution; 12 Democrats joined Mr. Wilson and 166 other Republicans in opposing it." -New York Times
SO you mean to tell me 179 political leaders actually thought it was OK to interrupt the president of the United States during an address? And then to call him a name, at that?
Wow. At the very least, they should be decent enough to recognize that his act was disrespectful. No one wants to be called a liar, and how would these ppl feel if it was done to them? Even when President Bush stood up talking nonsense and telling stories, no one ever had the gall to act so unseemingly. But we all know why it was OK in this case. To some ppl, Rep. Wilson is now a hero. You don't believe me? Well, since his outburst, people have just been donating money to him. Just calling up, writing checks happy as hell that Wilson had the nerve to treat our president the way he really seems him: like the n-word.
In fact, Wilson has received more than $1 million.
President Obama is the keep it movin-type, but we all know one act is all it takes to open the floodgates. You let one person try you, then one by one others will think they can try you too. The main issue here is that people across the country can look at an act so blatantly disrespectful, and actually find it commendable.
I'm Not Gonna Lie
I'm kinda happy Hank Baskett was released by the Eagles. If you know me, you know why....this is the Hank Baskett who knocked up that Playboy bunny broad - and then married her. IDK how I feel about a brotha who can sleep with someone who used to sleep with Hugh Heffner, but hey - to each his own.
The move was made to clear space for Michael Vick, who now has been officially elevated to the 53-man roster. The other day when I heard about the Eagles signing veteran QB Jeff Garcia, I was scared it meant Vick wouldn't get his chance. But this move shows me otherwise.
Sorry about your cracked ribs, McNabb..but I hope the injury sidelines you longer than Sept. 27, because this is the day Michael Vick gets back in action!
And in other injury news, y'all lift Troy Polamalu up in prayer...IDK if I can watch a Steelers game without him on the field. Just doesn't feel right.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Y He So Mad Fo? Y He Such a A**Hole?
I watched the new Leno show last nite only long enuf to see a funny spoof of "Cheaters" (where Kevin Eubanks was cheating on Jay, lol) and the "Run This Town" performance w/ Jay, Ye and Rihanna. Before the song, though, Leno asked Kanye about his ugly outburst at the VMAs...and while some of yall might feel Kanye has apologized enuf, Jay Leno took it a step further:
JAY LENO: Let me ask you something. I was fortunate enough to meet your mom and talk with your mom a number of years ago. What do you think she would have said about this?
KANYE WEST: [A long pause.]
LENO: Would she be disappointed in this? Would she give you a lecture?
WEST: Yeah. You know, obviously, you know, I deal with hurt. And, you know, so many celebrities, they never take the time off. I’ve never taken the time off to really — you know, just music after music and tour after tour. I’m just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else’s hurt. My dream of what awards shows are supposed to be, ’cause — and I don’t try to justify it because I was just in the wrong. That’s period.
But I need to, after this, take some time off and just analyze how I’m going to make it through the rest of this life, how I’m going to improve. Because I am a celebrity, and that’s something I have to deal with. And if there’s anything I could do to help Taylor in the future or help anyone, I’d like — you know, I want to live this thing. It’s hard sometimes, so –
LENO: Thanks for coming here, and thanks for doing that.
So that long pause is definitely where Kanye almost cried. IDK how I feel about Jay getting that personal; that was a low blow. However, I felt all along that a lot of what's been going on with 'Ye has to deal with grief over his mom's death. I hope he will take the time to step away from his bald, non-heterosexual gf, the 'flashing lights' and fashion designing and whatnot to really try to process it all and deal with it, cuz Kanye just might be my favorite rapper. And sumtimes extrememly talented ppl allow their personal issues to overshadow their careers. (MJ, Whitney, etc)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
ADHD is Molecular
I read the ticker tape at the bottom of the screen during a segment with Toure on MSNBC. Idk who apointed this man pop culture guru, but anyway...
The scroll said that studies have shown that ppl with ADHD lack the proteins that enable them to feel a sense of reward and motivation. You know most of the things we do in life, we do it because of the expectation of some reward - an A+, a sense of pride, praise and recognition from others, etc. But they don't have a sense for those simple motivators. Their brains just aren't turned on by that stuff.
No study is 100 percent conclusive, I think, but it's an interesting theory.
The scroll said that studies have shown that ppl with ADHD lack the proteins that enable them to feel a sense of reward and motivation. You know most of the things we do in life, we do it because of the expectation of some reward - an A+, a sense of pride, praise and recognition from others, etc. But they don't have a sense for those simple motivators. Their brains just aren't turned on by that stuff.
No study is 100 percent conclusive, I think, but it's an interesting theory.
I Haven't Watched...
...The VMAs since, like, '86. But I hear Janet's going to open the shin-dig with an MJ tribute, and well - that's kind of like what the world has been waiting for. Look at those slick MTV ppl, trying to boost ratings. (And likely succeeding, depsite that weirdo guy who'll be hosting)
...I also haven't watched American Idol since Ruben won. But with the addition of Ellen DeGeneres, I might be back in. I thought Ellen was busy enough with her very entertaining daytime talk show and her spokesmodelin for Covergirl (lol). But I guess she decided, no, I'm not too busy to collect another paycheck.
This won't surprise u at all, but the only judge I like is Simon. Randy can go host Radio Disney, and Paula can check into rehab for all I care. Some ppl are mad A.I. didn't find sum1 with at least a hint of a music background.
I heard sum1 suggest Janet Jackson. Yea, except that she whispers all the time, in btw giggling like a toddler, thereby making her speech undecipherable.
LL Cool J said he's done rapping, maybe yall could hire him.
Tiny & Toya seem to be pretty popular...
And Mariah probably won't be selling too many albums next week, so she mite be available as well. The list goes on and on...
But hey, they needed to do sumthing drastic AND entertaining. And Ellen might be the funniest woman I've seen. BUT if she tries to make the whole show into a standup routine that has nothing to do with the contestants, then I'll go back to my personal protest.
...I also haven't watched American Idol since Ruben won. But with the addition of Ellen DeGeneres, I might be back in. I thought Ellen was busy enough with her very entertaining daytime talk show and her spokesmodelin for Covergirl (lol). But I guess she decided, no, I'm not too busy to collect another paycheck.
This won't surprise u at all, but the only judge I like is Simon. Randy can go host Radio Disney, and Paula can check into rehab for all I care. Some ppl are mad A.I. didn't find sum1 with at least a hint of a music background.
I heard sum1 suggest Janet Jackson. Yea, except that she whispers all the time, in btw giggling like a toddler, thereby making her speech undecipherable.
LL Cool J said he's done rapping, maybe yall could hire him.
Tiny & Toya seem to be pretty popular...
And Mariah probably won't be selling too many albums next week, so she mite be available as well. The list goes on and on...
But hey, they needed to do sumthing drastic AND entertaining. And Ellen might be the funniest woman I've seen. BUT if she tries to make the whole show into a standup routine that has nothing to do with the contestants, then I'll go back to my personal protest.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sad Commentary on Our Current State of Affairs
My best friend recently took a huge leap of faith (and independence) and moved to Houston. She's rooming with her older brother (one of the many ppl I've heard of who have left Detroit and declared Houston the best city ever, period).
I asked him, "What's the biggest difference between Houston girls and Detroit girls?"
He had a looooong list of differences, all in favor of the Texans. But the VERY FIRST thing he said was:
"They all got good jobs!"
-Sad on our behalf, Detroit. But probably true.
I asked him, "What's the biggest difference between Houston girls and Detroit girls?"
He had a looooong list of differences, all in favor of the Texans. But the VERY FIRST thing he said was:
"They all got good jobs!"
-Sad on our behalf, Detroit. But probably true.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Facebook FAQs - Part I
Q: When is it OK to un-friend ppl from Facebook?
A: Considering the fact that half the ppl you "friend" on FB aren't really friends, and you really don't interact with them that often, this should be relatively easy. However, un-friending ppl comes across as petty, which may be the reason for thinking twice. It looks tacky, I know. But as a general rule, when one party commits an act so offensive that you don't have a remote need to even occasionally interact with them, then go ahead and hit "Remove from Friends."
Here are some catergories:
1. Exes/Ppl You Used to "Talk To": Remove the temptation to become a Facebook stalker. If homeboy stood you up to take your friend on a date, really why do you need to read his status updates to see if any of them refer to you? You don't need to look at his new photos, and you dont need to see if he's In a Relationship. Also, you don't need his new girl to find you on FB and start sum drama..Just let go!
2. Party Promoters: If every message you receive from this "friend" reads like this: "It's going Down!!! The ULTIMATE party of the Year! HypeMan Productions Presents Wigs and Pumps at the Platinum Lounge"...then clearly, this person just friended you for the sake of advertising. Save yourself some spam and remove them.
3. Brokers/Agents: Let's define this group, shall we? With FB being so open these days, it's pretty easy for ppl to see your profile. BUT depending on your privacy options, you may only be public to certain ppl. BEWARE of your friends who allow access to non-friends. For instance, your homegurl goes to TCC and you go to FAM. A rat from TCC would like to find you and discuss you dancing with her man at the club, so she gets one of her FAM gurls to let her see your page.
Even worse: Wnen someone who IS on Facebook allows someone who IS NOT on Facebook to see your profile. This person is therefore acting as the other person's agent. I mean really, if you want to screen my page so bad,why don't you just join yourself? That leads me to the next category...
4. Facebook Stalkers: Ppl who comment on your every update as soon as you hit Enter. Ppl who might even change their status to reflect yours. Sometimes you wonder, with so much time on their hands to monitor your profile, do these ppl ever go to work or school? This includes ppl who need to judge your statuses as well...which usually consists of ppl from church. AND OH YEAH-
5. As a general rule of thumb, just don't friend church ppl. Don't accept Mother Watkins, Deacon Jones or his son. Don't friend the secretary cuz it's her job to retain and organize information....and as much as DevaDonna hates to say it, church ppl gossip just as much as anybody, so it's guaranteed they'll pass what they see on to others.
I hope this helps, Dear Readers...
A: Considering the fact that half the ppl you "friend" on FB aren't really friends, and you really don't interact with them that often, this should be relatively easy. However, un-friending ppl comes across as petty, which may be the reason for thinking twice. It looks tacky, I know. But as a general rule, when one party commits an act so offensive that you don't have a remote need to even occasionally interact with them, then go ahead and hit "Remove from Friends."
Here are some catergories:
1. Exes/Ppl You Used to "Talk To": Remove the temptation to become a Facebook stalker. If homeboy stood you up to take your friend on a date, really why do you need to read his status updates to see if any of them refer to you? You don't need to look at his new photos, and you dont need to see if he's In a Relationship. Also, you don't need his new girl to find you on FB and start sum drama..Just let go!
2. Party Promoters: If every message you receive from this "friend" reads like this: "It's going Down!!! The ULTIMATE party of the Year! HypeMan Productions Presents Wigs and Pumps at the Platinum Lounge"...then clearly, this person just friended you for the sake of advertising. Save yourself some spam and remove them.
3. Brokers/Agents: Let's define this group, shall we? With FB being so open these days, it's pretty easy for ppl to see your profile. BUT depending on your privacy options, you may only be public to certain ppl. BEWARE of your friends who allow access to non-friends. For instance, your homegurl goes to TCC and you go to FAM. A rat from TCC would like to find you and discuss you dancing with her man at the club, so she gets one of her FAM gurls to let her see your page.
Even worse: Wnen someone who IS on Facebook allows someone who IS NOT on Facebook to see your profile. This person is therefore acting as the other person's agent. I mean really, if you want to screen my page so bad,why don't you just join yourself? That leads me to the next category...
4. Facebook Stalkers: Ppl who comment on your every update as soon as you hit Enter. Ppl who might even change their status to reflect yours. Sometimes you wonder, with so much time on their hands to monitor your profile, do these ppl ever go to work or school? This includes ppl who need to judge your statuses as well...which usually consists of ppl from church. AND OH YEAH-
5. As a general rule of thumb, just don't friend church ppl. Don't accept Mother Watkins, Deacon Jones or his son. Don't friend the secretary cuz it's her job to retain and organize information....and as much as DevaDonna hates to say it, church ppl gossip just as much as anybody, so it's guaranteed they'll pass what they see on to others.
I hope this helps, Dear Readers...
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