Gratefulness

For anyone who's ever been discontent with their station in life...ever been frustrated or felt "stuck"...when you finally find something that makes you happy, no matter how small it may seem, you need to celebrate each good day for the victory it truly is.

I kinda did sumthin crazy recently. Said, "Forget my bills...see you later, family...goodbye, my only source of income," picked up and moved to another state. May be temporary, may not be - but I do know it's an incredible feeling to finally feel like you're walking in the path toward your destiny...no matter how unglamorous or reckless it may seem to the rest of the world, "doin you" feels sooo much better than whatever it was you used to do every day.

We try to make ourselves do the 'responsible' thing out of necessity. Working at jobs we hate because we have bills to pay and whatnot. I had an office job all summer. Certainly made more than minimum wage, but my level of boredom and sense that I was doing the most unrelevant tasks were frustrating...makes you nonchalant, even though you "need" that job. My supervisor was trying to find a way to get me to work more hours...mighta been nuts, but I was like, "no thanks, I'm good." He was like, what you doin when you get off? Nothing...which was half true. But for my sanity's sake, leaving at 3 o'clock was the best part of my day! I'm looking at the clock all day trying to remember why the caged bird sings, lol!

At any rate, I prayed before I packed my life up and left. I told folks that I wasn't running from something, rather I was running tosomething. And I told Jesus, "Lord, I'm jumping off a cliff here. I need you to either catch me, or let me fly."

And while in the short short time I've been gone, I've had a lot of downs (and some ups)....I have to say, "thank you Lord." My overall joy for living level is higher than it's been in a minute...and I'm celebrating each good day for the VICTORY it really is.

Happiness is a choice; I'm making that decision more and more these days. A lot of things in my life are uncertain right now...but MAN, I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE PEACE I FELT WHEN I MADE A MOVE AND TRULY HAD THE FAITH TO BELIEVE THAT GOD WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME. Trusting God is not easy, but you'll know when you're doing it right because the peace you'll feel won't even make sense! It hit me like a wave of rushing water that I did not see coming; this calming feeling that, I'ma be alright. That God leads me and His favor rests upon me, so how could I possibly lose? And if you look at my situation, it still doesn't add up...doesn't look like things are in place...but my God, HE confirms things for me in odd ways and places ppl in my path to keep me encouraged. I count it a blessing to have ppl in my life who love me enuf to correct me, vouch for me and counsel me. I'm listening. I'm moving. I'm hoping. And I gotta say, today was a good day!