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But seriously, I'm watching "Tough Love" on VH1, you know the show with all the women who can't catch or keep a man? Their issues run the gamut: Ms Low Self Esteem, Ms Gold Digger, Ms Single Mom/Strip Chick(of course), Ms Career Obsessed, Ms Wedding Belle, etc etc.
Steve had all the ladies write these open letters to their fathers, and I swear, no matter what their hangup was, they'd have you believe that all their issues with men trace back to their dads.
"Dad you abandoned me." or "Dad you were passive and weak" or whatever the case may be.
To be quite honest, I have hang ups with my Dad too...and that's a whole 'nother post. One of the most important things a father should do is put his daughters on game. There are 3 of us...and I can guarantee that anything we learned, it was through trial and error...or from peers. And there's no reason for that, if you were raised by your dad. But sumwhere around that age when I was old enuf to...have kids, I'll put it like that, that's right about when I think he stopped knowing how to talk to me...and we still don't talk much now. Funny enuf, he asked me like a month ago why I tell my mom everything and never tell him...and well, I don't tell her that much either. But again, that's a whole nother story.
But I just feel like whatever issues I have with my dad are mainly with him...not with every man I'll ever interact with from now on as a result. So really, I guess I wanna know...is there REALLY a direct correlation btw the type of father you have (or don't have) and your relationships? And I don't mean just for black women, I mean for all women. Cuz let's be honest: some of y'all hav sum triflin mamas. Women who use men, or every week you got a new Uncle SOandSO. Look at Kim from "Real Housewives of Atlanta." What kinda example is she setting for her girls?
Seriously, I'd probably have done much better by now had my dad been the navigator he was supposed to be...but at the end of the day, if I start stripping or if I get a divorce, or even if I never get married, I'm not gonna blame it on him. And I think it's a lil cliche that dad is now the fall back excuse for everything that goes wrong in a girl's life.
1 comment:
I understand where you are coming. it does seem people like to hold on to shit from the past and "blame" it for the reason they act the way they do. I actually have never been that close to either of my parents. They never talked to me about relationships are sex on purpose. Might have let some shit like "Choose your husband carefully" slip out, but that's it. Maybe if they talked to me about things, I'd do "better"? I'm not doing too bad for myself right now: been with my bf for about 4 years.
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