C.B. (Yea, I'm Still On It)

Only because my bf asked me the other day what I felt Chris Brown needed to do to get his career back in motion.

I felt his chance to come back hard was when MJ died, but since he was shut out of all the (mediocre) tributes, I don't really have any more ideas. But after listening to "Run It" today on the radio, I wondered....would this all have blown over by now if his girlfriend weren't Rihanna, America's Sweetheart?


Because when I thought some more about it, Charlie Sheen just beat the crap out of his wife - pulled a knife on her and everything...then returned to the set of his VERY successful TV show. Is it because we don't know his wife by name that we swept this one under the rug and haven't boycotted CBS the way sum radio stations and programs are still boycotting C.B.??

Questions to Jesus:

Why is my attention span so short?

Why don't I like anything for more than 5 minutes? like a dang toddler...

Why do I dislike (nearly) all of my jobs after, like, the first week?

Why didn't you gift me with discipline, patience - or a fast metabolism?

Why do I browse my Facebook Newsfeed instead of applying for all these jobs on my radar?

Why do my mom, grandmother and both sisters have naturally curly hair - but I got the naps?

Really, 5'1"? That's all You're gonna give me, huh?

I'm just asking, G.

AfroHairliciousBella

Prepoo

Cowash

Seal

SL/APL/BSL/MBL

Not familiar with these terms? I'm not either...I saw some black hair blog writers in Essence a couple months ago (Afrobella and Hairlicious and others) and decided to check them out. I thought I was obsessed with my hair, but these women?? Man! These sites need to come with their own glossary.

I really obsess over my hair a lot and I constantly buy new products that promise to grow my hair, stop breakage, add moisture, stop itching, etc etc etc. Any magazine that offers "Healthy hair tips," I purchase and read. Ask my guy - probably 45 percent of our convos over the past year have revolved around my hair. I cut my hair, dye it, weave it, everything - all in pursuit of the perfect do. I thought visiting the black hair sites would out me in touch with sistas who had unlocked the secrets of hair growth success. But when I saw all the abbreviations and regimens and everything, I felt more lost than ever. These girls are really serious with this sh*t. They have like 10 products that they use every day and and night.

SL=Shoulder Length, APL = Arm Pit Length, BSL = Bra Strap Length and MBL = ? idk, Mid-Back Length, maybe. And as for the other terms above...I have no idea.

Reading those sites and trying to decipher their language made my head hurt.

The (Un) Lovely Bones

For a year now I've been on this kick where I watch movies that receive a lot of hype during awards season, just to see if I agree. One movie that looked particularly good this go-round was "The Lovely Bones." Mark Wahlberg was in it, and I bang with Marky Mark. In addition, though, the plot seemed interesting. Here's a link to the trailer in case you aren't sure what I'm referring to:

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2521171225/

Anyway, I was led to believe that the movie was about a man who killed a young girl and was planning to kill her sister next, while their father is in pursuit to avenge his daughter's death and has to stop him before he strikes again. Wellllllll, good people, I was seriously mislead. That's not what happened. I won't ruin it, but most of the movie focused on the girl who was dead and how she saw things from her position wandering in purgatory. I can only compare it to someone having wild, drug-induced, endless hallucinations.

I've come to the conclusion that the more critical acclaim a movie gets, the lower the chances that I will understand it. I thought I was a high-brow film connoisseur who was capable of understanding complex concepts. Maybe I lied to myself.

My sister asked what I saw at the movies, and when I said, "The Lovely Bones," she got all excited. "Ooh, I wanted to see that!" she said. "How was it?"

I answered, "I saw it at the dollar show, but you should wait until it comes on TV....and then don't even watch it."

Question to Fellow Bloggers:

Ummm, exactly why do we worship Lady Gaga again? I must've nodded during that part of our meeting.

Also, why do we d-suck Amber Rose?

And Nicki Minaj?

Not passing judgment on any of these ladies, just wondering why you all find a reason to talk about them every day.

(Wait - they do have 1 thing in common: is it because being bisexual is "in" this season? I'm just asking.)

I'm Not Really Into Comic Book Movies

But I will be now because my favorite actress, Angela Bassett, has joined the cast of "Green Lantern"! For those of you familiar with DC Comics, she will be playing Dr. Amanda Waller.




Ryan Reynolds is Green Lantern, so I think I was interested in this movie anyway (now that I saw "The Proposal" and really liked it.) However, Ms. Bassett just made this a date!!!

Do NOT try this at home

I'm not sure how well you can see this image, but here's the name of the product: IMAN Time Control Skin Tone Evener. I had been using the AMBI Even & Clear Moisturizer without seeing much of a difference, so I decided to try Iman's brand. I bought it while working at a store that sells fancy cosmetics because I wanted a product that would fade dark marks and was made specifically for women of color - But this product is not it!

It might work, if I wanted to use it twice a day as the directions say, but the fact that it feels and smells like Elmer's glue immediately turned me off! Seriously, it smells very bad and has a runny consistency. It makes my face greasy and shiny and if you put too much it will peel off like glue did when you put it on your hands. SO just a PSA, don't use this junk.

Two Shows Most Men Will Never Watch

But you should.

They happen to be "Model City" on Centric.....and "RuPaul's Drag Race," on LOGO. (or w/e channel)

Put that eyebrow down that you just raised! I know if you're a heterosexual black man, you probably think I'm crazy, but if we can agree on this one point - that at the simplest level, television is supposed to be entertaining - then neither of those shows would disappoint.

"Model City" is a reality show that follows a group of black and Hispanic male models as they navigate the industry. Why would you wanna watch a bunch of greasy, shirtless dudes? Because, surprisingly, the show depicts them as regular guys. Some go to school, they have other talents they want to pursue, and most have girlfriends. And only one is (openly) gay. (In case that's what you were assuming the show would be about.) None of them is so striking that you go - wow, he must be a model! They just happen to have washboard abs and be photogenic. (Which should give the average Joe some hope.)

The show interests me because the guys are so down to earth, except for Wendell, the egomaniac who dates one of fashion's current "It" girls, Sessilee Lopez. Ibrahim is a painter and a modeling vet, who lives with his gurl and always gives advice to the younger guys, like the big brother of the bunch. He and Wendell hate each other! This provides many comedic moments. Then there's Nelson, who decides to move in with his girlfriend, then tells her, as she's unpacking her boxes, that "I don't think I can do this." ...some of y'all might be able to relate to that. Another reason this show might appeal to you is because I've learned recently that men are more obsessed with fashion than I ever imagined - and these guys get to wear some pretty dope outfits. (If nothing else, it confirms for me that every girl thinks she's a model right now...but actually, more guys probably already have what it takes)



Now on to the more outlandish of my selections - "RuPaul's Drag Race." Yes, the show is about men who dress like women. Buttttt it's a reality show, just like all the others, where people have to compete in challenges each week and display true creativity. However, these contestants, I promise, are way more likable, fabulous and funny than any others you've seen. Think Next Top Model meets The Apprentice meets Project Runway. Seriously, these guys/girls will make you laugh, gasp and cheer in the same episode. For example, Tyra Sanchez, the man I love to hate, really thinks he is Beyonce. He has a son, somehow, which motivates him to...be a drag star, I guess. But he's def the Bytch of the bunch, and it's funny to see his interaction with the others. I'll admit, some of the moments might be a lil too much for you, like when the girls have to pole dance, but seriously, outside of that the show is soooo entertaining that you really wouldn't hate yourself if you gave it a chance.



So if you happen to be bored one day with nothing to do but watch TV, give yourself a break and watch either of these two seemingly guilty pleasures. And if you watch them with some women, you might actually be able to say you had....fun. K?

In A Perfect World

There's a sector of the population who considers themselves to be movie connoisseurs, always on the hunt for something "different." But have you realized that labeling something "different" really isn't very descriptive?

I suppose I look for movies that don't unfold in a conventional or predictable fashion because when things go too well or the ending is too happy, we roll our eyes and say, "That's not real!" or "That was just too perfect! Come on, now!" And those cheesy, everyone-wins-movies usually suck.

But what's my alternative? Movies without happy endings where the good guys don't win. I suppose it's more "realistic" - but that sucks too, actually. Movies where the bad guys commit suicide so the heroes can't get revenge, or all these sacrificial lamb Will Smith movies ("Seven Pounds," "I Am Legend"), or depressing movies like "Precious" where everything is just allll bad. I don't want to sit in the theater for two hours and see one horrible situation after another with no resolution...where's the escapism in that? It seems every movie I've seen recently that lacked a happy ending left me feeling mad, frustrated and confused, like I'd just wasted a few hours of my life.

Take "Quarantine," for example. A bunch of people are trapped in an apartment building because of an illness that is affecting some of the residents. (And by illness, I mean the ppl become rabid, violent zombies.) Instead of sending help, the police just board up the building so no one can escape. No one sends help, no one comes to rescue anyone, you just watch until everyone dies. Literally. That's the whole movie. No one survives. And get this - for those who aren't killed by the disease, there's this freaky creature some sick person made in the attic that gets ahold of our last two humans. By time the credits rolled, I was seething. Sitting there looking dumb, mad and hurt. (Speaking of mad, I hope you weren't planning to watch that movie.)

Then there was "Watchmen," that movie about a clique of old superheroes. One of them, Ozymandias, figures that the way to create world peace is to first create global anarchy. The world needs someone to hate for the chaotic events that are taking place, so Ozymandias sets one of the other watchmen, Dr. Manhattan, up to be the scapegoat. The problem here is that Dr. Manhattan is completely innocent, but he gets so disgusted with humankind that he banishes himself to another planet or galaxy or whatev. But then we look up and see that once he's gone, the blanket of peace has draped across the world, and everyone is happy again. Sucks to be him, but it was for the greater good. Naw, I'm not buying it.

As a matter of fact, I was even mad at "The Notebook." It has to be one of the sweetest love movies I've ever seen. Until to the end, where we find that the lady has Alzheimer's and doesn't even remember anybody. Her husband tells the incredible story of their past to try to get her to remember, and for an instant, it looks like she does. Then she freaks out and they die the next day. WHAAAAT KINDA UNFAIR, OUT COLD LOVE STORY IS THAT?! Different? yes. Good? I'm not so sure.

And don't even get me started on "The Departed" and "No Country For Old Men," two of the most critically acclaimed movies that didn't make a bit of sense. This is what we win Oscars for, people??? As my bf called it, "star-studded confusion." "The Departed" was on last night from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. The first 2.75 hours involved storytelling and tension and suspense. Then in a matter of like 5 minutes, there was a rapid succession of every main (and secondary) character shooting each other in the head. Then it ended....huh??! Where's the justice? Why do my heroes and my villains all meet the same fate?

Let me tell you something, if a movie is gripping and suspenseful for 2 hours, then nonsensical for the last 5, you get no credit from me!

So really, what am I asking for here? I don't want my movies to be too perfect, but I also don't want them to be all bad. Or is it that I actually do want the cliches where "bad guys" lose and "good guys" win? And while I respect movies that blur the line between who's right and who's wrong ("Law Abiding Citizen," for example. Sure Jamie Foxx's character was the lawyer, but he was wrong, and he should have been punished for his bad decision and careless, cocky attitude. Meanwhile, we empathized with Gerard Butler's character, but once we realized he didn't intend to stop his maniacal plans to exact revenge on the entire legal system, then he had to die), I still want some type of the ideal of justice to be served...so maybe, I don't really want something so "different" after all.

So U Gon Tell Me They Don't Look Alike?

Still Waitin to See Dividends on my College Investment

Convo with the Boo a couple weeks ago:

Me: I don't think people should have graduation parties anymore if they don't have anything lined up for the next day.

Him: What, they should have job parties instead?

Me: HELL YEAH! If you're graduating today and sitting at the house tomorrow, then ain't shit to celebrate.

but that's just me...............

The Difference

I think about some of the things God has done for me. It seems like there was a period in my life when I pretty much received everything I asked Him for.
When I graduated high school in 2004, I had been offered full-ride scholarships to Howard University and Florida A&M University, as well as a substantial aid package (and guaranteed money to study abroad) from Michigan State University.

Long story short, I chose FAMU - or rather He lead me there. I cannot begin to express what a blessing it is to go to school for free. Granted, going out of state presents a whole other set of expenses, including putting items in storage over the summer and having to secure travel for visits home; but at the end of the day, I didn't pay for one credit, one course, etc. Then when I got to FAMU, I continued to receive aid and acquire awards, completed some great internships, joined all sorts of organizations and met all kinds of people, kept a little job, (no matter how trying it was) and generally received blessing after blessing after blessing.

But now, after graduation, it seems there's been a drought of sorts. It seems I get more "No's" than "Yes's," more rejection than acceptance, and more needs than means by which to fill them. Sometimes I catch a break, then I revert back to a holding pattern. Listen, this is not a pity party post, it's just me sharing that I've been asking God, "What more do I need to do?" "What else do you require of me?" "How do I get back to a Place of Plenty and leave the Land of Lacking?" I've been examining who I was before....and comparing it to who I am now. And I've noticed a major difference. The Word says, "Harden not your heart."

Being burned enough times will cause you to go from giving the benefit of the doubt to saying, "F*** it." You'll be a lot less caring. You'll develop that, "I gotta get mine" attitude because it seems that's the path to success for everyone else. But during a Facebook chat with my bestest yesterday regarding the uncertainty that hangs over my life right now, she gave this simple advice:

pray your hardest

listen to HIM

and be good to people

thats it

And I discovered that was The Difference. In high school, I was: A. Focused on God, and B. Focused less on me. I participated in community service, was dedicated to causes that had nothing to do with monetary gain, and willingly attended church like three times a week. I was committed to learning as much as possible, and not nearly as consumed with the superficial and the material. I was, in a sense, "Focused on things above and not below." And I believe God rewarded that innocence, that honesty, that zeal.

Since then, you could say I bit the proverbial apple. It came with a whole different set of wisdom...and breeds a carnal state of mind. It introduces a separation, a falling from grace, an unnecessary life of hardship and worry that is self-induced. When Adam bit the apple, he began to see things differently. Ignorance was no longer bliss, even though it wasn't really ignorance in the first place; it was the privilege of being totally taken care of by God and therefore not needing to know anything else. Adam became ashamed, and he hid from God.

When God 'found' him, He said, where u been? what u been up to? Adam said, I was naked so I hid. And God said, "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?"

Because ladies and gentlemen, the only words that matter are those that are told to us by Him. He said to seek ye first His Kingdom and He'd add everything else. He said to be a servant. He said to love others. These things are the opposite of what I've been told by the world, but That's The Difference. I have a feeling that when I get back to the things He has told me, the drought will end.

Robin Thicke: "Sex Therapy"

With his fourth release, Mr. Thicke tries to present another side of himself to the world: a candid sex symbol, with a desire to "put some cream in your coffee."

I'm not sure if he's pandering or not, but it's clear that black women are attracted to Mr. Thicke, and lines like, "last name Mahogany/first name Ebony," are his way of saying "I love you back." ...or perhaps it's the result of some PR person in his ear telling him to try to milk that whole my-wife-is-black connection for as much as he can. Looking at the album art, it feels a bit contrived.

While other albums have been less overt with the sexual content, the very title of the album, along with the Parental Advisory label, are a warning that explicit appeals to your fantasies are about to come. "It's in the Morning" features an appearance by Snoop Dogg. As you can guess it's an ode to making love in the a.m. And the hip hop-driven "Shakin it for Daddy" has verses by Nicki Minaj, who raps "I stick shift the ding-a-ling." The latter song is laidback and melodious, fitting of Snoop's flow, while the second is a Polow Da Don-produced track with a hard-hitting dance beat to fit Ms. Minaj's in-your-face style.

Collaborating with rappers is nothing new for Mr. Thicke, however his last two albums solely included great collabos with Lil Wayne. For some reason, Thicke and Wayne were a great fit for each other, but this go round? We get rapper overload, with a weak verse from Kid Cudi on "Elevators," and the awful song from start to finish, "Meiple," featuring icon Jay-Z. I do enjoy the tribute to strong women everywhere, "Diamonds," feat. Game, despite my personal opinion that Game is one of the weakest rappers allowed in the game.

Overall, it's a decent album. Favorites include, "Just Right," "Mrs. Sexy," (featuring an Al Green sample) and "Sex Therapy," as well as the aforementioned "Diamonds" and "Shakin it for Daddy." I prefer the stripped down, true R&B records over the more hip-hop influenced ones; we get about half and half here. I understand artists are supposed to evolve, and while I appreciate that Robin is not trying to simply remake his most commercially successful album, "The Evolution of Robin Thicke," that album was his most personal, and therefore relate-able. With his trademark falsetto, he sang passionate and raw songs that expressed his struggle to find his way in the industry, his battles with self-doubt in terms of his career and even his relationships, and his efforts to even encourage himself to believe in things that seemed beyond his grasp. Other songs were fun without feeling forced.

Thicke's clearly not in the same 'starving artist' space anymore, so one can't expect the same topics, but after setting the bar so high, I had hoped to be more satiated with this album. I get less of his identity and more of a packaged image. And while I'm a die-hard fan of Thicke as an artist, musician and producer, I just want the next album to feel more authentic. Only include collabos that enhance the album. Just sing, Thicke, sing!

A is for Apple

Listen here, Good People:

My name is Driadonna. When most ppl hear it, the next thing they do is figure out a way to call me sumthin else. "What do they call you for short? Can I call you Donna? Dri? D?"

Um, the long answer is no. You can call me Driadonna. One of the most basic signs of respect is to address someone by his or her proper name. For all the people out here who claim to be intelligent, quite a few of them freak out when they come across a name with multiple syllables - in certain cases, I should say.

Why is it that when it comes to black people, others think it's OK to roll their eyes and call us by whatever name they choose. If my name were Mahmoud Ahmadenijad, I PROMISE you ppl would not say, "So, can I call you Ma?" No, they would extend the very basic and common courtesy of learning to pronounce it. If I had a name of Muslim descent, like Umar Mohammed Abdullah, or if I had a Russian or Polish name with like 20 consonants back to back and no vowels, folks would ask how to pronounce it properly. If I were French, with a name like D'Artagnan, people would say, "Oh, that's a beautiful name." And if I were Asian, with a name that might be short but still looks nothing like the way it should be pronounced, I guarantee you people would seek clarity and then address me the way I deserve to be addressed.

But it's only when your name is Driadonna, or LaQuanda, or DeMarious, that ppl dismiss it as being a "black" name...and tell you what a hard time you'll have finding a job, and all that.

I've been working at this one store for a month. At one point, I heard the manager refer to me as "that girl." Yesterday, I heard her ask another person what my name was. We've worked together at least 3 shifts. I've already done you a huge favor by chopping off HALF of it and allowing you to call me "Dria." Two syllables. Don't give me that excuse about, "Some ppl are bad with names." NO! Some ppl are just bad with respect. Not acknowledging what my parents chose to call me is your way of saying, "You are an insignificant person, not even valuable enough to have a proper name."

You know one fool even had the nerve to ask, "Do you like your name?" What kinda disrespectful, ignorant question is that!

However, black and Hispanic folk get lazy with it, too. Don't you dare do a double take at my name, when you have grown ppl in your hood that you call Peaches, Pookie, and Shaqwanna! Stop it, please.

In 2010, I'm not giving out any freebies. It's Driadonna. Sound it out, like you tell elementary school kids to do. It's not difficult at all. And if you'd like to be addressed by Becky, Sam, Tom, Kate or Brittany, then it's only fair that you extend the effort to return the favor. And I'm not just talking about my name. This is for all the Kamarias (love u lots) Ladreekas and Driadonnas everywhere who have to network in this world, but could do without the bias you exert when you choose to remember another person's name but immediately dismiss ours.

God gave Adam the authority to name every Good thing He had created.. It's an insult to throw your own label on there, or to disregard their titles.

Erro "(Don't) Change For Me"

This is not to be confused...this one's for you:

<3

Dear Dad...You Ruined My Sex Life!

That just sounds nasty, doesn't it?
But seriously, I'm watching "Tough Love" on VH1, you know the show with all the women who can't catch or keep a man? Their issues run the gamut: Ms Low Self Esteem, Ms Gold Digger, Ms Single Mom/Strip Chick(of course), Ms Career Obsessed, Ms Wedding Belle, etc etc.



Steve had all the ladies write these open letters to their fathers, and I swear, no matter what their hangup was, they'd have you believe that all their issues with men trace back to their dads.
"Dad you abandoned me." or "Dad you were passive and weak" or whatever the case may be.

To be quite honest, I have hang ups with my Dad too...and that's a whole 'nother post. One of the most important things a father should do is put his daughters on game. There are 3 of us...and I can guarantee that anything we learned, it was through trial and error...or from peers. And there's no reason for that, if you were raised by your dad. But sumwhere around that age when I was old enuf to...have kids, I'll put it like that, that's right about when I think he stopped knowing how to talk to me...and we still don't talk much now. Funny enuf, he asked me like a month ago why I tell my mom everything and never tell him...and well, I don't tell her that much either. But again, that's a whole nother story.

But I just feel like whatever issues I have with my dad are mainly with him...not with every man I'll ever interact with from now on as a result. So really, I guess I wanna know...is there REALLY a direct correlation btw the type of father you have (or don't have) and your relationships? And I don't mean just for black women, I mean for all women. Cuz let's be honest: some of y'all hav sum triflin mamas. Women who use men, or every week you got a new Uncle SOandSO. Look at Kim from "Real Housewives of Atlanta." What kinda example is she setting for her girls?

Seriously, I'd probably have done much better by now had my dad been the navigator he was supposed to be...but at the end of the day, if I start stripping or if I get a divorce, or even if I never get married, I'm not gonna blame it on him. And I think it's a lil cliche that dad is now the fall back excuse for everything that goes wrong in a girl's life.

Nice Guys, Here's Your Mascot

I hear over and over again about how hard it is out here for the "nice guys." All girls want thugs. No one wants a nice guy, blah blah blah. There's truth to that, and I empathize with you. I had my ignorant 'thug love' phase for a minute, too.

But guys, I have one example that speaks against all that. This specimen right here:




Because trust me, 10 out of 10 ladies would be quick to catapult the panties at this one. And let's really look at who he is. In season one of "The Game" aka the best show on television, Derwin Davis was established as a NICE, SWEET, NAIVE, INNOCENT, BOTTOM-OF-THE-TOTEM POLE ROOKIE AND CHURCH BOY. Totally in love with his girl, totally unaware when he was being used and disrespected, just bright-eyed, hard-working and happy to be playing football. And out of Malik, Jason and whoever else, Derwin "Ding Dong" Davis was clearly the favorite. You loved his big, brown eyes (that seemed to be so trustworthy). Loved his dedication and even his cheesiness, cuz let's face it, Derwin was very corny.

Of course, there were times his character started to feel himself a little bit as time went on. But it caught you off guard, like, "Whoa, look at Derwin gettin all saucy! Whaaaat?!" Almost made you a lil proud to see him stand up for himself, too. And because he was such a nice guy, the Drew Sidora thing totally BROKE our hearts. We believed in him, wanted him to be different. I never forgave him for that, honestly. But I still have to admit, he wasn't intending to hurt anyone. Even his cheating had an air of innocence, like he didn't know he was sliding down a slippery slope. (If I see Drew Sidora, I swear ima purrnch her in the face!)

But I just say all that to say, that yes, guys....we all want Derwin. And he is "the good guy." So perhaps with the emergence of a character like him, you might see a shift in the kinds of guys we celebrate as desirable. Or even the kind of guy we look at twice. (But I must say, if your good guy doesn't look like this one, then that may be part of the reason you aren't catching bees with your honey.)

AND OH - LADIES! HE REALLY IS THAT WAY IN REAL LIFE. NICE GUY, GOOD ENERGY,REAL GOOFY GUY, REAL GENUINE.

Who Gon Buy Me This for Christmas?

Mr. Robin Thicke...doing some different things this time around...like wearing gray in addition to his usual all black and white. Like makin songs with...Game, Nicki Minaj - and Estelle. Like...actually DANCING!
The album came out Dec. 15th. I'll give you my address and you can send me copy of it, please and thank you.

In the meantime, here's the video for "Sex Therapy." Unfortunately, I can't have any of that for a while...but I'd settle for a couple drinks at this point.



And here's "Diamonds" feat the Game. (Whom I dislike...except for on this song)

What God Has For Me

Yall know how it goes...
I've been jobless since the first week of November. I've been interning, yes. But cash flow? No. The plan was to intern during the day and work part-time at night...well, how many of us know things rarely go the way we plan?
Twice I missed calls from jobs at the mall. Once I got a job, but it just didn't look like it would be profitable. I shot myself in the foot with that one. Another job was for a man with a tiny ass restaurant/bar, but wanted you to jump thru hoops like "I Want to Work for Diddy." My job at home was trying to help me transfer to a store down here...but everyone involved was on sum bs, as in, they weren't "sure about the transfer process." The manager at the store down here has been telling me to call every single day to "check on the status." My interview was like 3 weeks ago. Another interview was successful, but the interviewer told me to call back on Monday and speak to suchandsuch. Such and such was supposed to interview me in the first place...but she didn't show up. Apparently, she's never there when I call or come by, and she's also far too busy to call back. And so forth and so on.

Well, I'd just about determined that online applications were a time-consuming game of odds that I was just about done with. But then I went to apply at TJ Maxx, and wound up walking in the store next door afterward. The nice young lady at the door said they were hiring for holiday help and beyond, and they were looking thru the apps rite now, but I had to go to ulta.com and search for store XXX and apply. I went home and did it, just for shoots and giggles. And....would you believe it? Some1 called me back literally an hour later. My interview was today at 11 a.m.
I get up, get dressed, about to head out the door early because it was POURING rain today, when all of a sudden, long story short-I was asked to watch the baby until his mom returned in a few minutes. Raise your hand if you know, it wasn't a few minutes, lol. I wound up getting to the interview 10 minutes late, with a toddler in tow. The manager was already in the midst of a group interview, so me and the kid hung out for an hour until she was done. PRAISE the LORD GOD, she happened to be the most understanding person in America. And at 3 p.m., she called me and told me to come back Sunday to fill out my new hire paperwork!

But wait...there's more! A few minutes later, one of those mall jobs that I had previously missed out on in early November called me again. And she asked me to come to an interview tomorrow morning! Granted, it's not a Fortune 500 company, but if I can be late to an interview and have a baby with me and still get the job, it's enough of a small miracle to keep me holding on and looking up!

A friend of mine said he could feel that I would get sumthing this week. He coulda been joking. But that was Monday, and here it is Friday, and I go from nothing to something in one day!

I Wish I Was Making This Up

Boys and girls,

I've been fortunate enough to be staying rent-free with extended family for the past month. And this house is full of kids! I'm having a good time being here, so grateful they opened their doors...but as you know, "Kids say the darndest things." For the sake of brevity, here's just a couple:

So a while ago I walk in the house at about 9:30 p.m. (And I think this was one of the days where I left my internship early .) The 4-year-old was concentrating on trying to fold a blanket, but he looks up and says, "You be comin in this house too late."
I had to ask. "What time am I supposed to come in?"
He goes, "Prolly bout like...bout like..2:30."
cool...cool...

A couple days ago my cousin asks me to watch the youngest child while he stepped out for a minute. As soon as he leaves, the 2-year-old starts trying to put on his shoes so he can leave too. I said, "You can't go outside."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No."
He said, "Yes."
I said, "No sir. You cannot. No!"
He said, "You being bad."
I'm like, whoa...cuz clearly it's the other way around. So I had to get clarification. I said, "Who being bad??"
This man says, "YOU being bad, and when my daddy get home he gon whoop yo ass."

"The Buried Life"

Never thought I'd say this...but I saw a trailer for "The Buried Life," a new MTV reality show. And seriously, I got kinda teary-eyed.

The show is like a young version of "The Bucket List." With a huge element of Oprah-ism going on, too. Confused?

Well, four friends have a list of 100 things they always wanted to do...but every time they complete one of their goals, like playing basketball w/President Obama, they grant a wish for somebody else. For example, we see a young girl whose mom died in Hurricane Katrina, but she's never been to her mom's gravesite. Another example is an older gentleman with a 17-year-old son. But dude hasn't seen the boy since he was 2. Yep, somehow the four friends get them re-connected.

It's nice to see a show with those dynamics going on - you think it's just about 4 goofy white boys engaging in random chicanery...but then you see that it's much bigger than that. Kudos to whoever pitched this show!!!



And while I'm on MTV, let me just say that one of the great things about television is that it has the ability to expose us to cultures we don't see on a daily basis. And this "Jersey Shore" awesomeness? I really didn't know that Italian folks got it in like that. Like, from watching "The Real Housewives of New Jersey," I learned that those Italian women were some real gangsta broads. Like the Atlanta heffas are all talk, but those Italian women? Flippin tables at the family dinner and the one fat lady who's like, naw, bruh, u not gon come at my family like that, you gotta go thru me. I'm like, get it, bytch!

But what have I learned from "Jersey Shore?" Man...y'all go hard in the paint. Like, as a way of life. I just...didn't know.

Golden Globes

The dress rehearsal to Hollywood's biggest night. Much more enjoyable than Grandpa Oscar, nearly as prestigious, and more diverse in the content that it celebrates.
I'm excited about the recently announced nominations, and DevaDonna just has a few tiny observations:

*Am I the only one happy to see George Clooney depart from political movies and really weird odd-ball comedies to just do a regular ol' romantic comedy? I have yet to see "Up in the Air," but I think about films like "Out of Sight" and "One Fine Day," and I'm just glad to see George return to his gray-haired, handsome, effortless style of leading man charm...don't forget your bread and butter, baby!

*And one time for Marky Mark! My, how far we've come from '90s rap and posing in CK underwear! (though I wouldn't mind if he modeled again...) I've been reading about this movie "The Lovely Bones," how unique it is, how many stuffy awards it's won and how it's the best screenplay of the year...and when I finally see a trailer, it's starring Mark Wahlberg. That makes me proud.

*Now on to the rest: Morgan Freeman is nominated for "Invictus." I didn't see it, but it's another one with him playing Mandela/Jesus/The President/The Old, Wise, Infallible One...with his nasty, cheatin azz. (look it up)

*Mo'Nique and the big girl (I aint feel like looking up the spelling, Gabourey sumthin. Sorry) are nominated for "Precious." They kept saying Mo'Nique was gonna win an Oscar for this one, but this is one of those cases where she just oughta be glad to be nominated. (CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE YELLING THAT WILL BE TAKING PLACE ON THAT STAGE IF MO'NIQUE ACTUALLY WINS? I shudder at the thought, all at the Golden Globes talkin bout, "YES! YES! SUGA! BABY! YES! YES! YES!" ...HOWEVER, the film got nominated for Best Cast as well, so I actually think they're gonna walk away as winners in one of these 3 categories, at least. AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE NOMINATIONS- I'M STILL NOT PAYING MONEY TO SIT IN A THEATER AND BE DEPRESSED FOR TWO HOURS.

*Penelope Cruz is nominated for this musical, "Nine," but she hasn't even figured out how to speak English yet! Seriously, Penny, you been here too long to still sound like Fez from "That 70's Show"

*Ruby Dee is nominated for some Lifetime movie. Nothing bad to say about this foxy lady! Glad she's still working!

*Yea, so "30 Rock" is nominated for everything, again! And all the noms from "Glee" make me feel like I'm missing out on sumthing by not watching the show...

For those who don't know, this is what I wanna do with my life...so I actually follow awards season and all the goings-on...And I'm pretty excited to see what happens!

Pick Your Poison

Ladies,

My mother never told me this, "Don't put your purse on the floor or you'll never have any money!" which is probably why I'm good for throwing my bag on the floor real quick...and I haven't seen a dollar in a minute...

Butttt for those of you who subscribe to that superstition, I have a scenario:

Let's say you're at the mall and you need to use the restroom. It's been raining (or snowing), so the floor is all dirty and wet. The bathroom stall does not have a hook where you can hang your bag. However, they have a changing table for the babies.

SOOOO do you put your bag on the dirty floor - or a changing table?

I Don't Care How You Get Here...

Just get here if you can...

You know these days when you fill out a job app, they ask you HOW you plan to get to work. Some applications simply ask, "Do you have reliable transportation?" You check Yes or No, and leave it at that.

Well, yesterday I filled out an app to work for the 2010 Census. And I kid you not, that paper said:

26a. Indicate the types of transportation available for your use:

Automobile
4-Wheel Drive
Airplane
Boat
ATV (All Terrain Vehicle)
Other _______
None

In terms of "Other," I'm not quite sure what's left... That list looks pret-ty darn thorough to me.

Triflin

SO here's why you don't do your grocery shopping at the corner store.
I'm at this store one day - I won't give the address - but my dude calls something to my attention. I'm like, we're in a corner store, what could possibly be so interesting?

Well, here it is folks:




In the back of the store, they had shelves of expired food. Marked down with these red stickers, of course, and this hand-written note, "Out Dated, But Still Wholesome."

I'm all for getting more bang for your buck...but I had to miss out on that one, cuz I'm the type to pour milk out the day before it expires...