I work just to pay rent

It just occurred to me that I'm pretty much working just to pay rent.

My cat needs to visit the vet. I also want to take her to the groomer, re-up her flea meds and buy her a playscape. I've been saying this for months. The next thought is always, "I can't afford it right now."

My eyes hurt. They sting and burn incessantly. Right now it's like a throbbing. Probably should find an eye doctor. Don't have nay insurance though. I know I can't afford that.

Earlier today I stopped by the mall. I saw quite a few really nice dresses and tops that would bolster my work wardrobe. Too bad I can't really afford new clothes, I thought. I admired the items just long enough to remember that they aren't in the budget right now...or anytime soon.

Then I talked to my boyfriend, who's looking for apartments. He went to look at a two-bedroom unit, heat and water included, for $765. I pay $1,100. The fact is, nearly 50 percent of my check goes to rent. By the time I pay my cell bill, get gas and groceries -- all staples that would be manageable under different circumstances -- I'm broke before the weekend is over.

I live in LA. That's the part of the game, right? You have to pay to play. You have to make sacrifices. This is a place where I can reach my dreams eventually; high rent could be looked at a small investment in exchange for the chance to "make it."

....but sacrificing current happiness for dreams I may never reach sounds like a quick way to waste a life.

I'd rather go somewhere that allows me cheaper rent and money to live. Money to take a trip when I want, take care of my health, pay my tithes, debts and my car insurance in the same check. Why does that sound so impossible?