Happy New Year

From time to time, I do things generally regarded as stupid, particularly when it comes to my career.

I'm pretty sure such a choice will take place again soon.

As I type this, it's one hour and five minutes to 2014. And I'm working overnight.

You're 27, you live in Los Angeles...and you're at work on New Year's Eve? As a friend told me not too long ago, "Dude, that's why you're not getting laid." That bitch was right.

It didn't even occur to me to request this day off, because, shoot, when do I ever work a Tuesday overnight? Naively assuming I was safe, my eyes filled with terror when I got my schedule a week or so ago.

"Maybe God is saving you," my mom offered by way of condolence.

"Saving me from what, fun?" I answered.

I'm disappointed that on the precipice of a new year, I feel a nasty, joy-stealing mix of frustration, malaise, discontent...all of which aren't even entirely rational. A combination of factors dropped me off here, feeling dread when everyone else is all, "This is my year! Just watch!" But if your life arouses these feelings within, especially at this time of year, it's time to read the tea leaves.

Clearly, I have financial goals and a shitload of bills to pay. But 2014, it has been collectively decided, is a year of doing what thee fuck you really want. Honestly, there's been times I was happier working at the mall than working "in my field." And times I wake up longing for a place that's cold, dangerous and gray, instead of my sunny, palm tree-lined,  beach-bordered haven.

Complaining is a vain exercise. I know this. And part of new years is being bombarded by quotes extolling that a person, at any time, is capable of living the life she truly wants to live, should she so decide...