Rules without Relationship

"Rules without relationship always leads to rebellion. The only thing that tethers us is Love."

Coincidentally, I heard this on the radio right after I left a story about a church closing. I spoke with a young man who works with a group called Dirty Vagabond Ministries, and he said he focuses on teen outreach by visiting teens where they are, developing a relationship and" earning the right" to minister to them. For example, he goes to sporting events and to bus stops to bring the kids snacks before school and try to build rapport.
It's better than just bringing them in the church and preaching at them, he said, and that's not what Jesus did. He didn't have Bible studies and seminars, He went to people where they were.

Those words really resonated with me - his idea of building a relationship and letting ministry develop naturally. I think he's right. Ultimately, people just want to feel loved.

I've been really reflecting upon what draws people to a church and what keeps people in a church. We're in a trendy, superficial society that needs bells and whistles to catch people's attention. Ur church needs to have a Web site, and a text message sermon and a live Web stream and needs to be televised. You need to have lyrics posted on projectors and announcements via video and a ministry for every single population - the ski club ministry and the pet ministry and the married with kids ministry and the married without kids ministry, etc etc etc.

What if you have a smaller church that can't compete? (Because let's face it, times are tough, we got bills to pay so we need butts in seats, and it is a competition.) OK, to be more accurate, what if you have a smaller church that is simply fighting to sustain itself? I've been to big churches. It turned me off one day when I had to sit in the "overflow room" and watch church on TV.  I could've done that at home - without having to pay an offering.

I guess you just have to wait for people to mature to a point where they realize that flashing lights are less important than finding a place where you feel the Love of God.

And all you need for that is...well, somewhere that teaches the full gospel of Christ. Doesn't matter the size of the sanctuary or the amenities they offer.

"The only thing that tethers us is Love."

The FAMUAN

Jesus has been telling me to do this.

I just wanted to say to everyone on the staff of The Famuan, roughly between the years of 2004-2008, that it was a stressful (yet rewarding) place, and we all handle that stress differently. So I apologize if I was rude or b*tchy or snappy or whatever.
I didn't mean it.
I love you all.

Sorry.

Better late than never. Never late is better. (Just because those two statements should always accompany each other now.)

I Miss You

Last weekend was ....different. Saturday night a friend invited me to a get-together at her apartment. Many of the young ladies there attended the same church, and I honestly can't think of much else that we talked about that night beyond the Lord.
I'm not used to young people talking about Him when we hang out. Some may call it weird, others could label it "refreshing."

The next day for work I was sent to cover a church's 100th anniversary. Now, celebrations like anniversaries (and pastor's birthday, and First Lady's birthday, etc) can make one feel like an outsider because it's really like a family reflecting on its history and what they enjoy about each other. At the same time, because it is such a joyous occasion, you feel a lot of love.

I say this to say that by the time my weekend ended, I concluded one thing: I miss Him. We all have to have that moment when we realize how much closer to God we can really stand to be. You may go to church every week - doesn't matter. Oddly enough, finding how much I miss His presence gave me a sense of peace - glad that I remember what His presence feels like, and glad that He'd like me to come back!

Fantasia For Real

I half-watched the first season of Fantasia's show, and I'll be honest, I'm only watching this one for two reasons: Fantasia's hairdos and her crazy-a** brother, Teeny.

That man is a damn fool. One minute he's crying like a baby, talking about, "You ain't been the same towards me since you won 'The Idol!' " The next he's in somebody's house talkin bout, "Ooh yea, I can do something real sexy in here," while the homeowner looks on in horror and charging $5 for folk to go to his "Bossquerade" so he can pay his rent.

Really, he's embarrassing.I'm sure the cameramen and producers be in there having a field day with his crazy footage.
When I see stuff like him auditioning girls for a butt-naked car wash, I think, thank God that man is not related to me!
But I have to keep watching to see what he's going to do and say next.

It's DJ Kane, Stupid!

Check out my friend, DJ Kane, mixin and scratchin on Ustream. (so yall can see he aint one of those mix CD DJs) The boy is bad y'all! Been rockin to him since....04(?) Dang.

I found it funny that a sign at the Applebee's to go lot said 10 min max, but the waitress said there 'd be a 15 min wait.

My Brothers and My Sisters

I just spoke with a community outreach coordinator for the art gallery of a large university in town. We were talking about Hispanic Heritage Family Day this Sunday, a free family event with lots of cultural activities.

She said the gallery holds free events like that all year long. Some are based on exhibitions at the gallery and some are culturally based, such as Asian-Pacific American Family Day. This Hispanic Family Day typically draws 1,600 folks. But the event that draws the lowest amount of people is Kwanzaa Day.

IDK if it's because the event takes place the last week of December when many people are traveling for the holidays. I have no clue - I'm not from here. But I think that's pretty telling. What incentive do they have to try to provide programming for African Americans if people don't really support it?

To be fair, she said about 800 people come out....but trust me, there are WAY more than 800 black people in this city. And while you might say 800 is still pretty good, it's half the figure for the Hispanic day, so, relatively speaking, that is low.

I'll be real, here - IDK if I would be all that interested in a Kwanzaa day...but if I had a family I might, and I'm always interested in free and enriching activities. I'm just saying - since I've been here I've heard people bemoan the lack of activities for "the kids" to do, which is why they're "running in the streets." Well, here's one!

Pilot Season Check-In

If you couldn't tell by now, I <3 TV. Because of my varying schedule, I haven't been able to check out as many of the new fall shows as I had hoped, but the ones I have seen, unfortunately, were disappointing.

Specifically, I'm referring to "Detroit 187" on ABC and "Undercovers" on NBC.

I was hopeful for "Undercovers." It's a spy show where Boris Kodjoe and his wife have a catering company by day, but are lured into resuming their previous jobs as undercover agents. It could easily have been a couple of any race, so I guess we have to applaud NBC for being considerate enough to include us. They look great, by the way.

However, it just hasn't done a good job of holding my attention. Neither has the other one. I won't say they're bad shows. They've each only aired two episodes. I'm just saying they haven't been engaging thus far. And I kinda have a hunch that Boris and his wife were reactivated so that they can be killed. You heard it here first.

Last night I did catch "The Whole Truth" on ABC. It shows a court case from the sides of the prosecution and the defense, then reveals what actually happened. I've been waiting for a show like that! I liked it a lot. Hated Maura Tierney's haircut, though. And was anyone else not surprised that the prosecutor has "history" with the defense attorney? Kinda cliche. But I'm not mad.

FINALLY- a talk show I'll actually watch

Which handsome and engaging (and sexually ambiguous) CNN anchor just inked a deal to launch a syndicated daytime talk show?

That parenthetical part was purely to help you narrow down the options, but the answer is my fav, ANDERSON COOPER!

As you can imagine, it's set to begin around the time Queen Oprah leaves daytime TV. He'll be the exec producer as well, which gives me hope it won't be as corny as some of the other shows out there.

"Over the course of the past few years, I've had the opportunity to work on a number of daytime programs," Anderson Cooper told THe Hollywood Reporter. "It's fun and interesting to work in daytime television. The format is unique and you can really go in-depth on a wide range of fascinating and compelling stories. With this new program I hope to relay important information and relate to people and the audience in a completely different way. It's an exciting opportunity to show another side of myself and create something worthwhile and special in daytime."


Don't anticipate it will be as funny as Ellen, but it should be more palatable (for me) than say, Tyra or Wendy or whomever else they pass shows out to these days.

He'll be busy though - in order to pull this deal off, Anderson had to re-up his CNN contract to contiune hosting 360 as well.

The Social Network

I fell back in love with Justin Timberlake last night while he was on Jimmy Fallon's show to talk about his new movie, "The Social Network," which opens Friday. Justin and Jimmy did a crazy rendition of like 1,000 hip hop songs in like 2 minutes, accompanied by The Roots, of course. It was pretty cool.

But in light of the movie's opening, it reminded me to take a minute to gripe about social media.
I remember when Facebook was only open to college students. I remember my friend explaining it to me because it wasn't yet available at my unversity. When we finally got it, I recall being very excited to use it and connect with people from way back.

But now it's open to everybody, and you can't curse anymore or post pix from that party where you had too much to drink. You can't do this and you shouldn't do that because "you never know who's watching" and "employers check your page before they decide to interview you."

Gimme a break! Twitter lets you connect to even bigger-named ppl, so I suppose an extension of the same "manage your online persona" caveat applies there too, somewhat. That's too much work. Now I have to be fake online too??

It seems to me that the only place you can be yourself now is...in person. :)

Head Scratcher

I heard Kanye West's G.O.O.D. Music (home of artists such as Common, John Legend, Kid Cudi and Big Sean) recently signed Mos Def: + and...

Charlie Wilson: ?

I'll have to double check that one.

The Bird and The Bee

Years ago I interned at an ad agency - cuz clearly I'm old enuf to start sentences with "years ago" - and a very cool group came to the creative department and gave the agency a concert. (Who wouldn't want to work at a place that gives you concerts on your lunch break?)

I'd never heard of The Bird and The Bee before that day in 2007, but lucky for me, they also gave us all CDs.

If you like pop music that doesn't put you in the mind of strobe lights and fist pumping, if you could stand a momentary break from all the synth and bass, if you don't mind folk influences, ppl who play instruments, nice melodies and a lead singer who can - gasp! - sing pleasantly, then this group is worth checking out.

GAP Inc.

Let me tell you how GAP hosed my life. IDK if I'm the only person in America, but I'm so done with skinny jeans, mainly because I can't wear them to work and also because EVERY store ONLY sells skinnys, so I'm rebelling at my lack of options.

So imagine how pleased I was to see a sale sign right underneath a stack of "sexy bootcut" jeans at GAP. I grabbed every wash and tried them on. Like I was expecting, they fit like they were made for me. (I worked there a couple years ago; they never let me down.)

But when I got up to the counter, they rang up for twice as much. I asked the cashier what the deal was, and he says, "OH, only the light wash is on sale."

In the words of Dave Chapelle, "GOTCHA B*TCH!"

"You Know When It's Real"

Did I tell you Wendy's just blew me away?

You know how Panera has the You Pick Two where you can get half a salad, soup or sandwich? (and then they charge u more depending on if you want a sandwich that doesn't taste like you coulda made it at the house)

Well for like half the price (seriously, $4.99) you can get half a salad and pick your choice of:
a soft drink, bottled water, baked potato, cup of chili, chicken go wrap, nuggets or fries

and maybe sum other stuff I'm forgetting, but I think that's plain fantastic! And btw, they don't mean a little rinky-dink side salad, but one of their meal salads like the cobb salad or chicken ceaser.

One of the complaints ppl have is that eating healthier costs more than eating junk. Well, this deal is less than just about any other combo on the menu, from what I recall. I'm not a spokesperson for Wendy's, but I do appreciate this effort.

Yayy Wendy's!

Mad Men

"Mad Men" on AMC is a show I knew I'd be interested in when I first heard of it, but I never actually remembered to tune in Sundays at 10 p.m. Because really, who just watches AMC like that? I don't even know the channel number.

I finally rented Season One from the library, and while I didn't finish it before I had to turn it back in, I was very surprised by the show and I liked it so much that i wish I weren't four seasons behind...cuz that's a lot of catching up to do, and I'm OCD about watching TV shows out of order. (also, I should add that the theme music is dope.)



BUT when I heard that Naturi Naughton was going to be on the show this Sunday, well I had to watch. Because, that show cares nothing about inclusion. Idk if they're just being historically accurate (I'm sure there were no black ad execs in Manhattan in the '60s) or what, but black people aren't seen on this show unless they're cleaning something up...

And to my surprise, she wasn't a maid! She actually has a real role and is a relationship with an old British man. Naturi must have a HELLUVA agent, because that's actually less plausible considering she's not even fair-skinned. I'm just being real, y'all. If it were like Halle Berry, or someone who could pass, (or even a bigger name actress, considering this is a FIRST) I'd buy it. But Naturi scored with this one. You GO gurl!

But did anyone else notice that Don Draper was looking at her like he was bewildered and disgusted??

Real and Chance

This picture looks like an ad for a gay escort service.


Why does Vh1 keep putting those lames Real and Chance on TV?
More important, WHO'S watching them?

I'd rather watch a reality show with Tiger Woods and Bryant Gumbel.

Welcome to Coldstone!!!

Friday night something happened that simply did not make sense to me. I'm just going to present the facts of this situation and let you provide any justification or excuses you like.

So my bf decides he'd like some Cold Stone ice cream a little after 10 p.m. We head to Cold Stone (/Tim Horton's) and go straight to the counter where you're supposed to order. There's a young lady behind the counter, mixing up some ice cream. She doesn't look up, doesn't say hi, I'll be with you in a moment - none of that. Then she turns around, goes to a table and fiddles with some stuff there. At this point I've decided that I'd like to taste a new flavor they have this month, and I'm hoping that soon she'll ask how she can help us.
No such luck. After a few minutes, she goes to the drive-thru window and passes some items outside. We're like, OK, she's done with them, maybe she'll come help us now.
Nope. She returns to the counter. Right in front of us. And starts cleaning up. She's scraping the table, head down, like we're not there, so my bf says (not in a loud tone, mind you) "You in a bad mood or something?"

She says,"huh?" Doesn't even look up. And keeps cleaning. At this point, I'm upset, I look at the bf and go, "Wowwww. Do you really still want ice cream from here?"
He says nothing. And then the lady turns her back to us, walks over to another table and starts cleaning over there and fiddling with some spoons. That's when it became clear to me that we weren't going to get any ice cream that night, and I left.

Ladies and gentlemen, there were several people in store with ice cream, which means she'd helped them not too long before. He and I were the only people in line, and he's very tall. So I know she saw us. And we stood there for at least 15 minutes - ample time to be acknowledged.

I really can't figure this one out. We both went to the car and sat there, stunned for a moment.

I've worked in retail. There've been times I had to straighten, answer phones, operate the register and help customers. I understand multitasking. But I was always taught to acknowledge a person in front of me. And I was NEVER taught that a potential customer should have to flag me down or beg me to assist them - so please don't ask why we didn't speak first. That's not our job. That's hers.

Downtown Driving

Don't you hate when you can't make a left turn (btw like 9 a.m. and 6 p.m.) so then you figure you'll make a right turn at the next street...but you can't do that either?
And then the next street is a one way - not the way you want it to be?

I drove soo far out of my way yesterday; that's what I get for not staying in the office until 6.

Ahead of the Curve

IDK if this is a brilliant move to get people engaged in newspapers again or another step closer to the end, but the New York Times has announced a project called The Local East Village. The goal is to cover the blocks that make up the Village by allowing any registered user of nytimes.com to suggest a story idea or cover a story through a Virtual Assignment Desk.

Courtesy its Web site:
"The Local is a journalistic collaboration designed to reflect the richness of the East Village, report on its issues and concerns, give voice to its people and create a space for our neighbors to tell stories about themselves. It is operated by the students and faculty of the Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute at New York University, in collaboration with The New York Times, which provides supervision to ensure that the blog remains impartial, reporting-based, thorough and rooted in Times standards."

I do appreciate that it's not a community blog or free-for-all and will have to abide by journalistic standards. And I think it will be a fabulous way to get people logging on to read content. Perhaps it will be a model for other papers to follow, a way for the public to show editors what matters to readers and the people we want to be readers.
It will certainly allow readers to buy into an idea that the NY times is now "their paper," and will allow a sense of representation for a very unique community. But for journalists who make a living by writing, it might seem imposing that now any one with a computer will be able to get published in connection with one of the most respected papers in America.

This is SMART

If you didn't know Univision and Telemundo do MAJOR numbers on television. In fact, I've been reading daily ratings reports where Univision shows performed better than shows on ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and the CW on a given night.
With their success, it's evident that there's a market that has been underserved and is willing to watch content with their interests in mind.
The Hollywood Reporter wrote today that Lionsgate has partnered with Televisa to unveil a new company, Pantellion Films.
They have a five-year deal to release about 10 films a year for the (50-million strong!) Hispanic market.

"AMC CEO Gerry Lopez said his chain will dedicate one to three screens at 52 theaters in markets with strong Latino audiences and try to "consistently market to an audience that's already coming." He said Hispanics on average make up more than 20% of AMC guests -- about one-third in some areas." --THR

Here's a link to their in-depth article:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3id04ae3d9411a9f6b1cc7ce54480e2f65?pn=2

Obviously, there's truth to the prediction that Hispanics will be the largest minority, so being a leader in providing content to them is a good move and may open the doors for other companies to arise, or for mainstream companies to look at adding some selections for this demographic.

It's noteworthy that Lionsgate also distributes Tyler Perry's films, because Tyler has been showing Hollywood for years now that minorities DO show up for films that cater to them. And Tyler did put Sophia Vergara in his film "Meet the Browns." Now she plays Gloria on the hit ABC show "Modern Family" and her career has taken off!

Here's another quote from the THR article:

"One of the themes that his team heard in its research was that U.S. Hispanics want to be better represented on screen, Paul Presburger said. "The want to see themselves on the screen the way they see themselves," McNamara said. "They want to see [their own] as an ad exec or government employee, not just as drug dealer or maid." At the same time, Pantelion wants to avoid giving off an "I feel your pain" vibe or pander to audiences."

Hmmm..."they want to see themselves not just as drug dealer or maid"...or struggling single mom....or wanna-be rapper...or star athlete....
Sounds like sumthing another demographic has been saying for years...which companies are lining up to provide sumthing better for us? Please, Hollywood, don't think Tyler Perry is sufficiently filling the gap single-handedly. We are not that easily appeased.

But I digress...

Cougar Town

Heard via TheYBF that Gabrielle Union is launching a clothing line.

I'm not a Gabi fan - think I've made this clear before in stronger language, lol - but I read her reasoning behind the line and if the price is right, I'll support.

She said her sister is a big gurl who has a hard time finding flattering clothes, and that not many lines are tailored to black women's bodiesin general.

However, theybf story said she's planning to go the QVC/HSN route, and I'm sorry I can't buy anything without trying it on first. And I don't see myself watching the Home Shopping Network, though I do know that MJB used it to sell her fragrance "My Life" and set that channel on fire!

Lessons Learned From the VMAs

My Twitter feed, twitter.com/Devadonna, had my instant reactions to the VMAs Sunday night.
Now that my feelings are less involved, I'd like to share the nuggets I gleaned from the show:

1. The VMAs haven't been funny since Chris Rock used to host them. Yes, Chelsea Handler was bad. Yes, she might have messed it up for women going forward, but the men before her weren't that great, either.

2. There's a reason we've never seen Nicki Minaj dance - she can't. I thought she was whack when she just stood on stage, posed and touched her hair. (like Ashanti used to) Well, her dancing didn't engage me much more. And note to Nicki: Stop performing with your face! If I'm at your show in the balcony, I won't see all those strange expressions.

3. Justin Beiber is the future. We knew this already, but it's safe to say his performance was the best. Yes, better than Usher, (slightly). and Eminem. and anyone else you might consider a vet or pro.

4. I'm not watching the VMAs again. Not as long as Lady Gaga is nominated.

That is all.

Retraction

A few months ago I wrote a post raving about this new face wash by St. Ives, the Naturally Clear Green Tea Cleanser. They also have a scrub, and I've been using both.

Well, I'd like to take all my compliments back because I've noticed recently that my face is discolored in places. Yes, there are spots where my face is noticeably lighter. And my usual oily and acne issues have returned, so now I'm back on the hunt for a gentle yet effective face wash.

:o(

Willow Smith

In the wake of Willow Smith's rocket-speed momentum, I think it's time we search the annals of history and look at a case not too long ago.

You see, at one point, Teairra Marie was the first lady of the ROC. Then Jay-Z signed Rihanna and that other chick was promptly dropped on her ass.

Perhaps Sir Hov caught wind of the tweets and facebook posts declaring that with just one song, Willow Smith has whipped her hair and will whip Rihanna's ass right back to Barbados and out of the business.

Well, Rih at this point is more famous for her fashion than her music (which clearly Willow admires) which means she doesn't have to make music in order to be relevant.

But it's very noteworthy that Jay-Z signed Willow Smith last week. Looks like he said, "Whoa! This gurl might be a problem" and decided to nip that in the bud before competition could begin.

What I like about Willow's song is that, yes, it sounds like a song Rihanna would sing - except Willow actually sang it and sounded good as opposed to ...whatever it is that Rihanna does.

A New Concept

I went to an interfaith service today in memory of 9/11, where people of various faiths spoke about working together and respecting each other's beliefs in light of recent hate-mongering events that have taken place. The last speaker's words really got me thinking.

The gentleman, who is 19 and is Muslim, said he was reading a book by Mahatma Gandhi that spoke about tolerance. "Tolerance" is not enough, the speaker said, because it still implies an air of superiority. "We'll tolerate your religion" is the same as saying those other faiths are inferior. He instead mentioned a concept called ahimsa, which means to do no harm -- not even with your thoughts.

In essence, we need to transcend tolerance to reach a level of acceptance where we accord to other religions the same amount of respect that we give to our own.

That's a good idea, I thought. But wait: those of us who believe a certain religion do so because we think what we believe is thee right way. For instance, Christianity speaks of a straight and narrow path that few will find.

So with this in mind, is it really possible to give other religions the same level of respect that you give your own? I understand we can be intelligent enough to hear other ideas and whatnot, but if you believe your faith is the true faith, then how can you equally respect another religion?