Thursday, June 25, 2009

"Throw It In The Bag"

I am not a call girl....I just look like one at work. So I guess I can understand if that causes some confusion.
There is one guest who frequents the facility where I work. Always has on a sharp hat pulled low over his eyes, dressed in business casual, there at an insanely late time of night. The first night I saw him, he said, "You lookin real fly," and he gave me a $10 tip for a drink that was free. I thought he was gay. I know gay guys dont just give out compliments unless they mean it, so I"m like, OK, I must really be fly tonight - thank you very much.
However, the next time I saw him, this man said, "You lookin fly, baby. Here, take my number down."

- Innoncent enough, right? But here's the clincher, y'all. Next he said:
"I got money. Give me a call."

Now me being me and not taking that ish seriously, I laughed in his face.
He was undeterred. "Im serious baby, I got money. Make sure you call me."
I shook my head and walked away.... I mean, really, is that your selling point? "I got money."? What other features and benefits do you come with? I suppose those three words were supposed to be enough to slay me.

Last night I saw him again. This fool repeated the same admonishment to call him because he has money. "When you gon let me spoil you?" he asked. (then he said, whats your name again? I always forget. Anyway, u should call me. I got money. I'm thinking, wait you wanna cash out sum random chick whose name you dont even remember??? wowwww.)
Any other time, I walk away. But this is the man of the $10 tips, on a night when I had a grand total of $14. So I decided to humor him for a moment. "Oh, I dont know," I said. "You still got my number?" he asked. "Here let me write it down again." And this man pulled out a pad of post-it notes and got to writing. As he did so, he said, "You like the Somerset Collection? When can I take you shopping? I work from 10:30 to 7:30, so make sure you call me a day in advance so I can take off."
....and at this precise moment, I got a little weak. You see, Somerset is my FAVORITE mall. And it is indeed for ppl who "got money." My stone will began to flinch. My trick-o-meter started to rise a little. I wondered how little I would have to do in order to obtain this shopping spree. I wondered if my bf would really mind that much....
I mean, it IS my birthday weekend, shytttt!

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