Confessions of a Magazine Addict

I love magazines. I don't want to read the content on my phone or on a tablet or anywhere else. I like to turn the pages and look at the pictures and read them with a nice cup of coffee on my day off. They make long waits bearable and my time on the treadmill seem shorter.  I love that they have a moderately long shelf life, so I can learn something relevant from this month's issue or one from two years ago. I wil pick up O Magazine or VIBE or anything that looks interesting - doesn't matter.

I love that O magazine includes literature and works of fiction. I love that Essence also includes pictures of real women and their every-day style. And VIBE's 20 Questions used to be a very funny feature.


But I've come to grips that they are awful for one's self image. They're pretty much full of tips to erase and conceal all your inadequacies. I guess there's no money in saying, Hey Reader, you're great the way you are. Nope, instead they're full of clothes you should wear right now, makeup you need to buy right now, trendy hairstyles to try today, skinny models and celebs you should love and products you apparently can't live with out, (few of which are actually affordable). They are pretty much one big advertising ploy, and at the same time they contradict themselves and tell you 5 ways to save money and 6 tips to cut your spending.  

And yes, they seem to find ways every month to recycle and re-sell the same bit:

"How to protect your hair," "How to make him want you," "Sizzlin fashions of the season," "How to get the life you deserve today." And this is across demographics, am I right?

So, yeah, I notice flaws. But I can't tear myself away. *sigh* that's what you call an addict

Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

These are words from a Chinese mother in this fascinatng, albeit long, story in the Wall Street Journal:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read

Apparently, her theory is Chinese parents berate their kids and force them to do things they don't want to do over and over until they're good at it, whereas Western parents are too busy worried about their kids' self-esteem and therefore churn out failures and losers. I'm not kidding. She says Asian parents assume their kids are strong and can stand the brutal treatment, but Westerners assume thier kids are fragile and tiptoe around speaking harshly or bluntly. Here's a sample-

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more."

Read and discuss.

Why Black Movies Aren't Made

This one is for all of you who say: "I don't mind Tyler Perry but I just wish we had more of a choice of movies targeted at black people."

Ava DuVernay, a black filmmaker and publicist, was the subject of an NYT article that I found very interesting. She launched a festival network for black themed films across the country, the African-American Film Festival Releasing Movement (AFFRM). She didn't see another way for her film, "I Will Follow, to be distributed, so she did it herself.

The article in the Times went on to include some brutal reasons why "black-theme movies" aren't made:

"Those who make specifically black-theme movies, she (DuVernay) said, should realize that “no one is ever going to care about their film except the people it’s made for, which is, black folks.”

That's a pretty sad statement. Most movies are made with the assumption that everybody will see them. How often do you see a movie and go, "That's a white movie. I'll pass." Never, right? But DuVernay is pretty much saying that those who make black movies shouldn't expect the same kind of interest across the board. Here's why that's even more troubling, according to the article:

"According to a 2009 survey of moviegoing compiled for the Motion Picture Association of America, African-Americans, about 12 percent of the North American population, accounted for only 11 percent of ticket sales and less than 9 percent of frequent moviegoers. (By contrast, Hispanics, who make up 15 percent of the population, bought 21 percent of tickets, according to the study.)"

If the only people who "care about" your movie barely go to the theater and buy tickets, then..... what's the incentive for the movie to be produced or distributed by a major company?

Here's a link to the rest of the story:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/08/movies/08urban.html

This is NOT OK

This, on the left, is Miguel. Miguel of whom I am a fan. On the right is Megan Good, of whom I am NOT a fan. But that's neither here nor there. The issue, ladies and gentleman, is that Miguel is wearing leather jeggings tucked into Peter Pan boots. With a boatneck tunic. A big funky tribal statement necklace and a fancy-collared fitted puffer jacket. WHERE THEY DO THAT AT?

If I was going on a date with a man and he showed up in this, I'd leave and tell him never to call me again. I don't care if it was Lance Gross or Dwayne The Rock Johnson. And please, don't try - you can't justify this.

The Golden Voice

I was trying to stay away from Ted Williams and his golden voice." I tend to hold out on watching all these videos folks post and re-post on Facebook as long as I possibly can.
However, Ted was on "The Today Show" this morning being interviewed by Matt and Meredith, and this man was just so genuine I had to watch. It literally warmed my heart to hear how excited he was to be going from homeless to employed in a matter of days. What stood out the most, aside from homeboy having 7 kids, is that when he was asked the obvious question of what's going to stop him from misusing his second chance at life, Williiams said there was one major difference this time:

"The difference between my successes of years gone by is that I didn't acknowledge the Lord or thank him for anything before," he told them. "This time around, I have God in my life, acknowledging him on a daily basis."
 
No, religion doesn't guarantee success. Yes, a lot of ppl drop Him in the mix at times like these. But here, check the interview yourself:
 

American Idol

I've been over "American Idol" since Ruben won, literally. I occasionally check in through the "watch Simon destroy people with his accurate assessments" tryout sessions, then as I did with Adam Lambert, check back in at the end. But for the most part I was #done.

However, this very interesting article from The Hollywood Reporter details many of the changes to come. I already thought they all lived in a house together, but I guess not; that's new. Also albums will drop faster - which is much needed to capitalize on that Idol momentum, and they might add music videos throughout the show.

What I like is that during "theme week" they'll no longer force people to sing songs outside of their genres, as in asking a country singer to do rock. And for people who thought Idol was just glorified karoke, I can't believe they will now allow people to sing original content! This article says producers like Rodney Jerkins and Timbaland will help select and arrange new songs suited for each contestant.

My bf hates cover songs, but at the same time when you sing songs that no one's ever heard of it's more challenging to hold people's attention, I think. How bout you?

I'm not saying I'll tune in now, cuz I don't do Randy Jackson or Jennifer Lopez, but it's clear these ppl had to try something quickly in order to save the show!

The Cost of Living

The next time I go to the grocery store and my total is less than $100, I'm going to kiss the clerk.

Because it's the Season for Lists

We all know the end of one year/beginning of another gives people a reason to create a plethora of unnecessary lists and countdowns. Here's one of my own, completely in jest so don't take it personal.

TOP 3 MEN I WISH WERE STRAIGHT:

3. Adam Lambert (I almost forgave the makeup when he was on Idol, but that album cover had me #dead)
2. Nate Berkus (I wanted to believe that a man could be a great interior decorator and simply have a great eye for style, but then he told us about losing his boyfriend in the Indonesian tsunami)
1. Anderson Cooper (no, he hasn't confirmed or denied. But his mom is fashion maven Gloria Vaderbilt, so the man probably grew up woth some very colorful industry ppl)

Transitioning

I thought I had decided that I got my last perm in 2010. However a brief convo with my boss's boss's boss (as in the top boss) lead me to this question:

Well, let me give u the replay then ask the question.
HER: "Oh, your hair was long last week. Now it's short."
ME: It's different every week.
HER: We had a picture in the paper of you over the weekend with the longer hair, which is not to say you don't look nice with shorter hair too, and I thought it was a great picture that they took.

So the question here is, when going natural, am I altering the texture by continuing to press it, or is it better to just let it grow like it wants to and leave it alone?

Madea's Big Happy Family

I don't want to engage in the now-popular debate about how Tyler Perry is destroying Hollywood and the Black community. I may have lost friends going down that road, lol. All I intend to say with this post is that I watched TP's newest play, "Madea's Big Happy Family," over the weekend and was reminded why I'm a fan.

I've been stalking Redboxes all around this city since before Thanksgiving attempting to rent the play. It was worth it.  "Madea's Big Happy Family" was consistently laugh-out-loud funny; TP said some things men need to hear, some things women need to hear, some things single people need to hear, and some things not single people need to hear; and as always, I love when he speaks to the audience after the show because he shares some insight that blesses my soul, seriously.

Tyler has a message to share and was extended a platform to share it with more and more people, so I don't fault him for taking the chance to make movies and TV shows, which I will flatly say, seem to be outside of his lane. I watch them simply because several years ago, I saw some plays featuring a character who reminded me of people I knew, thereby becoming relatable and hilarious.
And it was clear to me after watching "Madea's Big Happy Family" that plays are what he does best - just connecting with his audience on his terms, through humor, song and real talk.

IT'S ON!!!

Making a new year’s resolution always seemed like a vain exercise for a person like me. Being a constant goal-setter was countered by chronic procrastination, yet for some reason I began 2010 making a list of resolutions sparked entirely by a photo shoot I envied in a magazine.


Serena Williams, with her abs of steel and zero percent body fat, inspired me to scribble “getting fit” on a piece of paper. Writing it down was the easy part, and before I knew it I’d filled the paper with resolutions. If I could find that list now, maybe I could tell you how many of those I actually accomplished.

But this year, as I approach 25 years old, losing weight is again my top goal, and to accomplish that I plan to do something crazy – literally. If you’ve caught the infomercials, you know “INSANITY” is billed as the hardest workout program ever put on DVD. “P90X” is another popular and intense workout used by several of my YP friends, but it costs about $200, you have to buy additional equipment, and, well, I don’t want to wait 90 days.

INSANITY is a 60-day “total body conditioning program” created by personal trainer Shaun T. He promises to push me past my limits with 10 discs of plyometric drills on top of nonstop intervals of strength, power, resistance and ab and core training moves. No equipment or weights are needed, which is great because I’ve had a gym membership for six months that was used infrequently, to say the least.

Joining me on this two-month journey is my boyfriend, a 22 year-old-college student who looks great to me but says his goal is mainly to have more energy overall.

“I want to be able to carry all the groceries at once – little things like that,” he said.

INSANITY comes with a free “elite nutrition plan” that Martell and I have both deemed impossible. Shaun T wants you to spread something like 1,400 calories over five meals a day, and says your body doesn’t need carbonated beverages or artificial sweeteners. If that’s what Shaun does, take a look at him, ladies – it’s obviously working – but me and my coffee shall never part. But I will make small dietary modifications, like drinking more water, cutting back on sugary snacks and adding more fresh fruit and veggies to my meals.

I’m excited and plan to share updates throughout my journey. Feel free to share your thoughts and especially your encouragement or questions. The fun begins today, Monday, Jan. 3.

(Does this sound like an article? Cuz it is, lol)

Best Song of 2010

2010 was a year of mediocre music. Yeah, I said it.  There were a couple pretty good songs, but not too many great ones.
With that in mind, my vote for the best song was a pretty easy decision. It goes to Miguel aka Miguel Jontel, feat J. Cole with "All I Want is You."
A soulful song with great lyrics, a couple clever rap verses, and a real groovy beat. The music was simple really, just a sparse guitar loop over a little snare that repeats and repeats - didn't build or do anything too exciting, but it has yet to get old, and I'm still tapping my toes.

Merry Christmas to Me!

Can you see that? That is Miss Hello Kitty - perfume! Sephora had a two-day preview of its new cosmetics line at the end of December, which included blush, lip glosses, lotion, mirrors and other STUPID-cute items.

The full line will debut in stores mid-January, and I knew this would happen, but I waited until I got off work to try to buy stuff and it was all sold out, except for this perfume. It smelled exactly like I thought it would - and no, I can't describe it, but it's unique, clean, elegant...*sigh* just plain amazing! And it even came with the old school puff thing that you squeeze to dispense the perfume! (idk what you call it guys, I'm sorry)

I hate that everyone will be able to purchase it and smell like me pretty soon, but I DEFINITELY plan to re-up and to buy the lotion, shower gel, compact mirror, and heck why not - even try some blush!

Chunkin up the Deuces

So I wanna try to talk about this in very general terms. Hoping that once I write it all out, I'll get over it.

Someone told me today that someone I pretty much grew up with had a problem with me because I "said some things." Now, this person and I haven't been close for a while, but we've hung out a couple times when I was home from school and had a great time. In the meantime, we hadn't spoken, so I was confused about these "things" I'd allegedly said.

No need to do the third party thing, I sent her a direct message like I heard you a problem with me, but you don't talk to me and I don't talk to you, so what are you referring to?

This chick says, you're right, we don't talk and we can keep it like that, don't message me I'm done.

WOW! REALLY? (and this is someone's mother, mind you. smh.)

So I'm like, alright then, be mad for no reason, cool.

I guess she missed the point. If I didn't want a resolution, I wouldn't have made that move. Obviously she didn't see anything worth salvaging. OH Yeah - did I  mention this person is a "family" member? I guess we gon die without saying another word to each other.

For shame!

I don't need to be rich

Just rich enuf to not have to ask anyone for anything. 

Listening to a friend who has spent most of the year trying to get adequate care for a broken foot only to be ushered out of the hospital as soon as doctors find out she has no insurance made me so disgusted that I thought, I need to be so rich that I don't even need insurance! I want to be able to fund my own hospital stay, emergency care, whatever.

This theory extends far beyond healthcare though. I heard horror stories from a toy giveaway at a church (of all places!) where people said they were locked in a room and had to wait hours for a couple toys, after having to attend a mandatory church service and being talked to very disrespectfully. You never hear of such injustices being done to people who aren't at the mercy of others...a good reason to be rich - as if you needed another one.

Gettin Over

Dear Mr. Time Warner,

I do NOT appreciate how you snuck an extra $5 to my "low introductory new customer special" price for wireless Internet service. Sure, it's only five dollars. But that certainly makes your ads promising high-speed Internet for less than $30 a month ineffectual, doesn't it?

And what's to keep you from tacking on five more dollars next month? Hmmmph.

Signed,

Please Stop

I Hate Breakfast

But  I miss Chik-fil-A. There's something about a chkn biscuit (which McD's woefully attempted) that just feels so right in the morning next to some tater tots and sweet tea.

I really should just open a franchise and bring delicious breakfast chickens to the East Coast. Yea, they make other stuff too, but lunch isn't the problem here.

Quick morning-food options are limited, though I'm a firm believer that "breakfast" consists of anything I decide to eat in the morning, which is never going to be eggs, waffles or sausage. I'm over omnipresent Tim Hortons, greasy McD's and bland Dunkin Donuts. 

How lovely it would be to leave my apartment with 30 minutes to spare and be able to grab a chkn biscuit on the way downtown?! *Sigh*

Where's the instruction manual?

Man, I'm starting to feel (even more) bad for all you McDonald's employees. Mickey D's is just doing way too much these days. You gotta make McRibs, cookies, angus snack wraps, frappucinos AND oatmeal now? Gee whiz!
And when did oatmeal become the new thing for fast food? I've seen it dressed up and snooty-fied at Starbucks with all kindsa berried and whatnots...but it's trickled down to McDonald's now? That means it's big!

The Sound of Christmas

Who decided "These are a Few of my Favorite Things" was a Christmas song? I don't recall it being a holiday in "The Sound of Music" when Julie Andrews sang it.

I can see how people could interpret it to fit the holiday spirit, but it's a stretch. There's no mention of Santa, Jesus, Christmas trees, presents, etc. But OK, it's still a great and timeless song.

I'm NOT Surprised

Well, I kinda am or else I wouldn't take the time to write about it, but apparently Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johanssen are divorcing.

The marriage was pretty low key - They married in 2008, but I only JUST heard about it with her being on the cover of In Style mag a couple months ago, and him on this TV special for People's Sexiest Men of the Year a couple of weeks ago talking about her - but they've been separated six months?!

After seeing "The Proposal" I finally jumped on the Ryan Reynolds-is-HOTT bandwagon, so I'm not too crushed by this news. Howev, after learning that he was engaged to Alanis Morisette before, idk where his taste lies, cuz that's a weird one right there.

Pride

I am NOT a racist.
Not a black nationalist.

i can see how you might think I am.

i just believe black people are


Beautiful
   Powerful
Royal
And undervalued - by ourselves and everyone else

Men, Tyler Perry does NOT hate you

I'd venture to say that of all the movies Tyler Perry has, more of them feature bitchy and raggedy women than negative portrayals of black men.
With For Colored Girls, you all keep saying TP "keeps making black men look bad." Y'all do that yourselves. But I digress.
I truly believe he does the opposite. He tries hard to show us that there are good black men out there, and he actually portrays the WOMEN doing them wrong. In many of the movies, the man is going way above and beyond to convince a broken woman to let go of her past and give him a chance. These men are long-suffering, patient and very eloquent in expressing their feelings.

Are there exceptions? Sure. Blair Underwood's character in "Family Reunion" was a wife beater and ol boy in "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" did cheat and drag Kimberly Elise out the house.  

But:

• Shemar Moore's character in "Diary" was a good man who let Kimberly Elise slap him, talk to him like trash, go take care of her ex AND come back, and his i love u speech was A-mazing!
• Boris Kodjoe's character in "Family Reunion" was a hard-working, blue collar single parent who loved his kids and was patient with the chick who's name i dont know
• In "Why Did I Get Married" parts 1 and 2, Tyler Perry's wife ignored him, tied her tubes without talking to him, didnt want to give the man any kids or nookie, and then damn-near cheated with her coworker. And yet, he begged her to come back
• "Daddy's Little Girls" was ALL about a hard-working man fighting for custody of his kids versus his sleazy, ignorant ex-wife
• In "The Family that Preys" - come on, where do we start? Sanaa Lathan DOGGED her husband, cheated on him, called him sorry, controlled all the money, left him, etc
• Was Taraji's character in "I Can Do Bad" not a bitter, hateful, self-loathing, adulteress slut?
• And Janet pretty much killed Gavin.

The list goes on and on.
So in conclusion, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Tyler Perry does not hate men. He uses them as secondary characters that revolve around, sometimes antagonize and often save the female leads and/or lead them to self awareness.

The defense rests.

Coonin for Company

My bf is making music with his coworker right now. Meanwhile, my (obvious) wig just came in the mail and I'm anxious to slap it on.

Coworker dates a white girl...which is why I'm thinking twice about walking back out into the living room with a completely different texture and length of hair. He's probly thinking, "I'm glad I don't have to deal with that...."

*Kanye shrug*

It's About Time...

Decided I was beautiful today.

I don't know if it's cuz I looked in the mirror and saw my grandmother's eyes; or if it's cuz my hair is back the color God made it;  or what. But I was pleased with me today.
Struggling with self-image is universal to all women, I suppose, but I'd venture to say two or three times as bad for black women.

So here's to hoping this feeling will make it to tomorrow....

This is Why we Pirate

I'm done buying CDs.

In a noble effort of support,  I do actually still go out and purchase the CDs of artists I care enough about. (That is a select group, I will admit.)

But after continuing to be disappointed, I've decided I'll just stick with the radio. Why should I give you my money when what I get in return isn't deserving of my investment?

"Album sales are down, the industry is on life support!" That's the cry we've heard from those bemoaning the current state of the music industry. Perhaps if between the labels and the artists, you all truly put together a compilation of the best material, people would be more inclined to buy it.

Hearing creative, imaginative singles, features and mixtape work is what whets our appetite for an artist's full-length work. But Miguel, Robin Thicke, Trey, (etc) when I get these bland, lifeless albums it's a letdown and a turnoff. What gets lost between the music that makes us fall in love and the music that makes it to the CD?

Case in point, after like 2 years of listening to individual songs, I've been dying to buy Miguel's CD - whenever he got around to making one. Finally got it Wednesday. Where's the intriguing themes, the unexpected sounds, the compelling rhythms that made me want to move on "Dig," "Ooh Ah" and "Overlaod"? Where was the passion I heard in "Supernatural"? The undeniable groove of that funky loop in the first single, "All I Want is You"? Unfortunately, the only songs I like on this dreary album are the ones I've already heard.

And then the music bloggers and writers mislead us, heralding an album as an artist's best work,(i.e. Kanye) when it's really mediocre. Yall need to stop kissin up and lying to the ppl! I actually can't tell you the last good CD I bought - good in terms of having to skip very few tracks and being able to listen to it again and again. Maybe Wale's "Attention Deficit." Maybe Drake "Thank Me Later," which even had to grow on me.

I want to be grabbed, wowed and captivated til the end. When did music stop having high expectations for itself? I don't care if you're tired from touring, tweeting and trying to be everywhere at once. Stop stretching yourself so thin that you deliver a half-cooked product.  And if the label won't let you? YOU'RE the artist, YOU'RE the commodity. Don't let them take away your voice! Assert yourself and give the fans what you know you're capable of and what we tell you we want. This thang should be a lil more democratic than it is. Cuz right now I feel like I'm being force fed major bull sh*t. I mean, seriously, half the songs on these albums nowadays, I'm like, did YOU even like that when you recorded it? Doesn't sound like it. You couldn't have been nodding your head like that sounded good, cuz u know it doesn't!

*Sigh* Monica let me down this year, Rick Ross underwhelmed me, Mike Posner was just a little better than OK, previewed "Pink Friday," and as much as I thought I wanted it, listening in advance was a good idea that saved me a few coins. Jazmine Sullivan, your second single is a yawn, and Miss Chrisette, what IS this woeful, messy single you've dropped an album off of?


This is coming from a place of love. I like you guys. I want you to be good. I want to be an active supporter. But I'm feeling more like a scorned ex. "Yall almost walked off wid alla my stuff"!