Major Bummer

Here's something very disappointing...probably only the ladies will relate. But if you've ever had this happen, it's a bit of a hard pill to swallow: when you are interested in someone and find out they only want you for one thing....
Some guys are more deceptive with the game. Others are transparent. Yesterday, a guy said to me, straight up, "You already know what I'm trying to do." Keep in mind he has spoken to me for weeks without so much as asking my name, but this day he decided to ask me if I would come over his house. At first the line was, "I need someone to clean my house." Then it was just, "So when you comin over?" His house is new, and he told me there was nothing much in it, so i'm like, what would I come over for? That's when he was like...'you already know'
So wait, he tried me like a hoe...and a housekeeper.
I previously thought he was cool people...now I know not to even deal with him...
I don't mind sharing because his trying me is not a reflection on me; I recognize that not everyone will see your worth. But I think we devalue ourselves when we entertain these ppl anyway (which, ladies, you know sometimes we do.)

Tainted Love

Quick question for all FAMU graduates and students(Especially those from Detroit):
When you say you went to FAMU, don't you get tired of people asking your opinion of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick....I swear, that and the band are ALL (white) people know about us!

Look, I vow hold it down for FAM, even if other people won't; as a matter of fact, my degree came in the mail yesterday, lol...

The Bigger, The Better (?)

This will be a short one....Yesterday a co-worker was asking me where I hang out and what clubs I go to. I told him that since graduation, the only place I've been hanging is church...and that the clubs I like aren't even in this zip code. Well, it just so happened that later on that afternoon my sister said she was going out, and I had a friend in town to roll out with.
To put it mildly, it wasn't the best time I've ever had. The most interesting part of the night was checking out the "ethnic" hairstyles. Those girls came with it! (That and the lady in white who "danced" all nite...I think she was at the wrong club, because she clearly was a stripper...I'm like, damn, she makin us look bad with those moves...) - it was a cultural experience.
At any rate, my friend and I could not help but notice that the majority of the women in the club were BIG girls...in dresses my 8-year-old sister could fit. They betta stop shopping in the kids section at Rainbow!

One thing a professor pointed out to me was that big girls seem to have a LOT of confidence. I think this is true. They seem to be vocal about being happy with themslves, which is a lesson we all can learn....However, when you are on the dance floor and the DJ plays crunk music, and these big mamas get to bouncin' round all around you...well, let's just say I had to exit before it got ugly.
On the way home, my friend goes, "Girl, did I miss the memo? It was Big Girls Night at that club. There must have been a mass text message that said, 'Bring your most stretchable dress.' "
(DON'T GET OFFENDED, LADIES)

AIDS is a BLACK disease

I apologize, I am not in the mood to do the necessary research, but visit CNN.com and read the story about AIDS in the black community. It is related to the "Black in America" special report. It says something like 1 in 20 people in D.C. has HIV, and AIDS is the leading killer of black women ages 24-35...don't quote me on that, please, but the stats are staggering. Why does it seem like every city with a high density of black people correlates with the WORST statistics? (HIV, murder, diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, etc) We are killing ourselves and each other, and I am really not sure why. In the most advanced nation in the world, why is there such mis-education....or ignorance to the information in front of us? Understand: everyone in America does not have the same access to information. But you would think by now the message to wrap it up would have seeped into every corner of the country.
The report goes on to say that billions of dollars are spent on foreign aid, (and honestly, even that is not doing enough), but domestic spending specifically for HIV awareness and treatment is exponentially less.
So....yes, Africa needs our assistance. But Detroit needs help, D.C. needs help, and a lot of other places right next door to you.
Why go all the way down the street and around the corner to help someone when the people right in your own backyard need you too?

Black In America - Class of 2008

This is just a short shout-out to all my friends. I am very blessed to be surrounded by ppl who believe in me. It seems like common sense, right? If your friends don't support you then maybe you have the wrong friends....but men, I wonder, do you all really have homeboys who encourage you? Do you have boys who congratulate you when your on your A game, who tell you about new opportunities and speak a positive word to you when you need it? Probly not...Y'all talk about weed, rap, girls, video games, homies who are locked up/killed and other randomness. If I'm stereotyping you, let me know.
I'm just saying: I have a support system of truly positive people who are like-minded and ambitious. They make me think and grow. One friend is entering law school; one is working for NFL Films; one is in aviation school; one just came back from doing research in Africa and the Dominican Republic; one just graduated with a degree in finance; one has a year left in school but has already secured himselfd a job on Wall Street; and many firmly believe in the word of God and speak that truth to me!
We are mostly at a place in life where we are content, confident, humble and excited about what lies ahead of us! And why shouldn't we be? We have descended from Imhotep, Nzingha, Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Sojourner, Madame CJ, Malcolm, Martin, Frederick Douglass and others...Kemet is our home, civilization begins with us, knowledge stems from the seeds we planted, royalty is our bloodline, and each day we are moving toward restoring, displaying and declaring that glory!
THEY DON'T WANT IT WITH US! LET'S GET IT!!!!!

What's wrong with these kids....

Have you heard old people talking about "Kids these days"? My mom wanted to have an extensive conversation with me the other day about how disrespectful I am; how I talk back; and how my generation is going to have to learn the hard way beacuse we just think we are sooo grown.
Well, she might be right. In my mind, I have always been a CEO - even though my title says "intern." See, when you are little, if you have parents with good sense, they tell you to respect your elders. So you do....you look at older people with awe. When you were in middle school, you thought high schoolers were so cool; when you were in high school you thought college kids were GROWN! And you let adults talk to you however they pleased because you were a child.
But when you get older, the awe goes away. You realize that grown people are human too. Age does not exclude them from making mistakes, and life is a continual learning process for everybody. So yes, if you see your aunt or someone acting like an asshole, sometimes you might not be so inclined to treat her with the same respect you did when you were 7. By now, you have developed our own sense of right and wrong, and you afford respect accordingly. But older ppl don't see it this way. To them, age = authority. Ok...you keep on with that 1948 arithmetic.
Perhaps we do have a sense of entitlement. Like we can just skip the dues-paying part and start at the top. BUT DAMNIT, WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT UR BIZNISS U FEEL LIKE U DESERVE A SEAT AT THE BOARD ROOM TABLE JUST LIKE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YEARS....I hate playing my part and being subservient to people who I know would be a lot better off if they just ask my opinion - or give me a chance to prove that I can run it!
Listen, there's a lot to be said for starting at the bottom and working your way up....but when you look at Soulja Boy and others, you see that you can blow yourself up. You can START at the TOP. That makes it hard to lay low and play your part....
And grown folks, just like you think we have a lot to learn; you have to learn something too. There are 21-year-olds with their own cars, houses, bills and jobs...people handling their responsibilities in such a way that makes them truly "grown," so wake up and pick your mouth off the floor when we talk to you the same way you talk to us. You want me to be an adult in some aspects, but other times you want me to stay in a child's place...That would be fine, if I were a child.
I may be younger, but you know what? There are some old fools out here,too...Mom says they deserve my respect. I'm not just out here shittin on ppl, don't get me wrong...but blind subservience to everyone born in decades previous to mine is NOT what's up. "Be seen and not heard" - type stuff? CHILE, PLEASE!

Silence is Golden (?)

One of my very good friends brought something to my attention when I was telling him about my job. I said everything is going well, but one thing I need to do is be more social. I told him my boss keeps remarking about how quiet I am.
My friend said, "You are not quiet. When someone isn't talking, I don't think they're quiet; I just think they're holding back. Because everybody talks."
And he's right....He went on to say that he gets to work 30 minutes early in order to go around the office and speak to everyone. He said some people might not like it, but he's comfortable enough in who he is to be himself around anyone who's around.
I told him, yeah, that's my goal too.....I'm working on it, y'all. Just wait...wait til I get cool enuf with me to be ME....some of y'all have seen a little bit...but you'll know when the task of self-acceptance is complete.

I See You Lookin....

When I go to church, I really try to zone out the people around me and focus on my praise...but if there's one person I can't help but pay attention to, it is my pastor. She is 60-something, but when it comes to praising the Lord, she has the most energy of anyone in the building! Her zeal really inspires me to give my all.
But recently I have noticed another person. My 7-year-old sister. Sometimes she will wear similar clothing to mine, or stand next to me during the service. I try to make sure I'm doing the right thing, since I know she's watching. A few weeks ago, however, I saw that my 3-year-old cousin was doing something interesting: when she comes in church, she stands next to my sister. She looks up to see if my sister is clapping and singing. If my sister stands still, the little girl stands still.
So I get on my sister. I try to get her to do the right thing. She thinks I'm just being hard on her; that's not it. I just noticed that although she is 7, someone else is looking up to her.
And you never know who's watching.