My Favorite Made-For-TV Mogul

Boys and Girls, you know Diddy can't stay off TV too long. He's one of those "execs" who has to be hotter than his artists. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love and respect Diddy. He is my favorite media mogul. But I don't understand his obsession with putting together crappy bands for the world to see.

Yes, I am talking about the latest installment of groups Diddy will manipulate, control, humiliate and never market properly and thus they will sell no albums and quietly return to obscurity. "Making the Band 4" is on! Just from MTB2 alone, the cheesecake people ought to give Diddy their first borns because I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say, "I want to go to the cheesecake place Diddy made them walk to on Making the Band." But I digress.

I just saw the MTB4 premiere and I will be watching faithfully, but I must say:

1. Diddy did consult THEE boy band expert by bringing in Michael Bivins. Let me explain this: I LOVE NEW EDITION. They had their first record in 1986, I was born in 1986...but that's inconsequential. I love them.

2. Laurie Ann is just a bra and glove-wearing Paula Abdul. Where did she come from? Why is she judging singers?

3. Dan, the white boy they picked who is kinda chubby, is my favorite. That child can sang, and he was dancing his big heart out. Give it to 'em Dan!

4. Why, why, why did they play with that Chinese man like that? Sam: "I'm FOB, Fresh off the Boat" I don't know English but i can sing black music. Why did they get his hopes up?

5. One word: Qwanell. Where is Qwanell's mama and what caused her to pick those letters and place them in that order and then say, that sounds like a good name for my son.

6. Half them dudes are gay. Or at least too soft and pretty for me. The rest are simply unattractive. Maybe one or two will grow on me. Early pick: Lewis.

7. Church boy Julius: Bless his heart. You don't know me, I woulda sent him home. Don't think singing about Jesus will save you! That is not a damn barbershop quartet audition, it's for men who will make drawers wet and make money!
He can sing "His Eye on the Sparrow," but can you really see him with the new freak 'em song, singing "lay you down, pick that booty up and put it on the flo" ? No you can't see it. It will be just as uncomfortable for him as it will for us. There are some church boys out there who can sing better and are actually authentic freaks. Why didn't Diddy's "experts" find them?

At any rate, I don't believe they "scoured the nation" and that was the best they came up with. But I will be watching.
And we won't stop, cuz we can't stop. Do it, do it, do it, do it....