10/26

Even though I'm getting married, he said, sometimes you still need other friends you can confide in.

Today is the birthday of the man who said that to me two years ago.

He shared his lofty goals; I shared mine. He said he felt we'd somehow be able to help each other achieve them. Said he was glad we reconnected and that we'd always mean a lot to each other.

This was about eight years after he stood me up around junior year of high school, invited me to a Neptunes concert and met her there instead.

"I don't know what it was, as soon as I saw her I just always had these strong, love-type feelings," he said.

I had no idea I was competing with her; all I knew is he was a friend from wayyy back in sixth grade, the tall, skinny kid with big ears who looked like Will Smith, the silly guy who made me laugh, believed in me and knew me better than anyone else. And though high school graduation, college graduation and then some had passed without us speaking, I still remembered 10/26: his birthday.

I sent a message; it led to long nights of Facebook chatting and confessions on his behalf that I never saw coming. My own relationship wasn't as fulfilling as it once was; his was going to the penultimate level and still, I was just happy to have my friend back.

And then, as quickly as we reconciled, he faded back into obscurity. I asked what I did wrong...he said he didn't know what I was talking about. The wedding came and went...the silence is still here.

Don't we always get eerie feelings around Halloween-time? For me, it's just that I'll never forget today is the birthday of the man who said two years ago we'd always mean a lot to each other. And somehow he left me twice.