Saturday, January 5, 2013

World's Most Shallow Roommate

My roommate, who is pregnant, comes back from the hair salon yesterday with weave to her ankles and fuzzy fake caterpillar eyelashes.

(AN ASIDE: Typically pregnant women are told to avoid chemical-heavy environments such as salons. Roommate, who is selectively half-Asian, dismisses this as "black people shyt.")

"Your hair is pretty!" I say.

"Uh huh," she says.

Not, "Thank you." Nope. Why fake basic humility?

She says, "People know me at the airport so I had to look like how they're used to seeing me."

...Didn't know I was living with an airport celebrity. Gotta stunt on the TSA peons, huh?


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