In A Perfect World

There's a sector of the population who considers themselves to be movie connoisseurs, always on the hunt for something "different." But have you realized that labeling something "different" really isn't very descriptive?

I suppose I look for movies that don't unfold in a conventional or predictable fashion because when things go too well or the ending is too happy, we roll our eyes and say, "That's not real!" or "That was just too perfect! Come on, now!" And those cheesy, everyone-wins-movies usually suck.

But what's my alternative? Movies without happy endings where the good guys don't win. I suppose it's more "realistic" - but that sucks too, actually. Movies where the bad guys commit suicide so the heroes can't get revenge, or all these sacrificial lamb Will Smith movies ("Seven Pounds," "I Am Legend"), or depressing movies like "Precious" where everything is just allll bad. I don't want to sit in the theater for two hours and see one horrible situation after another with no resolution...where's the escapism in that? It seems every movie I've seen recently that lacked a happy ending left me feeling mad, frustrated and confused, like I'd just wasted a few hours of my life.

Take "Quarantine," for example. A bunch of people are trapped in an apartment building because of an illness that is affecting some of the residents. (And by illness, I mean the ppl become rabid, violent zombies.) Instead of sending help, the police just board up the building so no one can escape. No one sends help, no one comes to rescue anyone, you just watch until everyone dies. Literally. That's the whole movie. No one survives. And get this - for those who aren't killed by the disease, there's this freaky creature some sick person made in the attic that gets ahold of our last two humans. By time the credits rolled, I was seething. Sitting there looking dumb, mad and hurt. (Speaking of mad, I hope you weren't planning to watch that movie.)

Then there was "Watchmen," that movie about a clique of old superheroes. One of them, Ozymandias, figures that the way to create world peace is to first create global anarchy. The world needs someone to hate for the chaotic events that are taking place, so Ozymandias sets one of the other watchmen, Dr. Manhattan, up to be the scapegoat. The problem here is that Dr. Manhattan is completely innocent, but he gets so disgusted with humankind that he banishes himself to another planet or galaxy or whatev. But then we look up and see that once he's gone, the blanket of peace has draped across the world, and everyone is happy again. Sucks to be him, but it was for the greater good. Naw, I'm not buying it.

As a matter of fact, I was even mad at "The Notebook." It has to be one of the sweetest love movies I've ever seen. Until to the end, where we find that the lady has Alzheimer's and doesn't even remember anybody. Her husband tells the incredible story of their past to try to get her to remember, and for an instant, it looks like she does. Then she freaks out and they die the next day. WHAAAAT KINDA UNFAIR, OUT COLD LOVE STORY IS THAT?! Different? yes. Good? I'm not so sure.

And don't even get me started on "The Departed" and "No Country For Old Men," two of the most critically acclaimed movies that didn't make a bit of sense. This is what we win Oscars for, people??? As my bf called it, "star-studded confusion." "The Departed" was on last night from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. The first 2.75 hours involved storytelling and tension and suspense. Then in a matter of like 5 minutes, there was a rapid succession of every main (and secondary) character shooting each other in the head. Then it ended....huh??! Where's the justice? Why do my heroes and my villains all meet the same fate?

Let me tell you something, if a movie is gripping and suspenseful for 2 hours, then nonsensical for the last 5, you get no credit from me!

So really, what am I asking for here? I don't want my movies to be too perfect, but I also don't want them to be all bad. Or is it that I actually do want the cliches where "bad guys" lose and "good guys" win? And while I respect movies that blur the line between who's right and who's wrong ("Law Abiding Citizen," for example. Sure Jamie Foxx's character was the lawyer, but he was wrong, and he should have been punished for his bad decision and careless, cocky attitude. Meanwhile, we empathized with Gerard Butler's character, but once we realized he didn't intend to stop his maniacal plans to exact revenge on the entire legal system, then he had to die), I still want some type of the ideal of justice to be served...so maybe, I don't really want something so "different" after all.

So U Gon Tell Me They Don't Look Alike?

Still Waitin to See Dividends on my College Investment

Convo with the Boo a couple weeks ago:

Me: I don't think people should have graduation parties anymore if they don't have anything lined up for the next day.

Him: What, they should have job parties instead?

Me: HELL YEAH! If you're graduating today and sitting at the house tomorrow, then ain't shit to celebrate.

but that's just me...............