The Difference

I think about some of the things God has done for me. It seems like there was a period in my life when I pretty much received everything I asked Him for.
When I graduated high school in 2004, I had been offered full-ride scholarships to Howard University and Florida A&M University, as well as a substantial aid package (and guaranteed money to study abroad) from Michigan State University.

Long story short, I chose FAMU - or rather He lead me there. I cannot begin to express what a blessing it is to go to school for free. Granted, going out of state presents a whole other set of expenses, including putting items in storage over the summer and having to secure travel for visits home; but at the end of the day, I didn't pay for one credit, one course, etc. Then when I got to FAMU, I continued to receive aid and acquire awards, completed some great internships, joined all sorts of organizations and met all kinds of people, kept a little job, (no matter how trying it was) and generally received blessing after blessing after blessing.

But now, after graduation, it seems there's been a drought of sorts. It seems I get more "No's" than "Yes's," more rejection than acceptance, and more needs than means by which to fill them. Sometimes I catch a break, then I revert back to a holding pattern. Listen, this is not a pity party post, it's just me sharing that I've been asking God, "What more do I need to do?" "What else do you require of me?" "How do I get back to a Place of Plenty and leave the Land of Lacking?" I've been examining who I was before....and comparing it to who I am now. And I've noticed a major difference. The Word says, "Harden not your heart."

Being burned enough times will cause you to go from giving the benefit of the doubt to saying, "F*** it." You'll be a lot less caring. You'll develop that, "I gotta get mine" attitude because it seems that's the path to success for everyone else. But during a Facebook chat with my bestest yesterday regarding the uncertainty that hangs over my life right now, she gave this simple advice:

pray your hardest

listen to HIM

and be good to people

thats it

And I discovered that was The Difference. In high school, I was: A. Focused on God, and B. Focused less on me. I participated in community service, was dedicated to causes that had nothing to do with monetary gain, and willingly attended church like three times a week. I was committed to learning as much as possible, and not nearly as consumed with the superficial and the material. I was, in a sense, "Focused on things above and not below." And I believe God rewarded that innocence, that honesty, that zeal.

Since then, you could say I bit the proverbial apple. It came with a whole different set of wisdom...and breeds a carnal state of mind. It introduces a separation, a falling from grace, an unnecessary life of hardship and worry that is self-induced. When Adam bit the apple, he began to see things differently. Ignorance was no longer bliss, even though it wasn't really ignorance in the first place; it was the privilege of being totally taken care of by God and therefore not needing to know anything else. Adam became ashamed, and he hid from God.

When God 'found' him, He said, where u been? what u been up to? Adam said, I was naked so I hid. And God said, "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?"

Because ladies and gentlemen, the only words that matter are those that are told to us by Him. He said to seek ye first His Kingdom and He'd add everything else. He said to be a servant. He said to love others. These things are the opposite of what I've been told by the world, but That's The Difference. I have a feeling that when I get back to the things He has told me, the drought will end.

Robin Thicke: "Sex Therapy"

With his fourth release, Mr. Thicke tries to present another side of himself to the world: a candid sex symbol, with a desire to "put some cream in your coffee."

I'm not sure if he's pandering or not, but it's clear that black women are attracted to Mr. Thicke, and lines like, "last name Mahogany/first name Ebony," are his way of saying "I love you back." ...or perhaps it's the result of some PR person in his ear telling him to try to milk that whole my-wife-is-black connection for as much as he can. Looking at the album art, it feels a bit contrived.

While other albums have been less overt with the sexual content, the very title of the album, along with the Parental Advisory label, are a warning that explicit appeals to your fantasies are about to come. "It's in the Morning" features an appearance by Snoop Dogg. As you can guess it's an ode to making love in the a.m. And the hip hop-driven "Shakin it for Daddy" has verses by Nicki Minaj, who raps "I stick shift the ding-a-ling." The latter song is laidback and melodious, fitting of Snoop's flow, while the second is a Polow Da Don-produced track with a hard-hitting dance beat to fit Ms. Minaj's in-your-face style.

Collaborating with rappers is nothing new for Mr. Thicke, however his last two albums solely included great collabos with Lil Wayne. For some reason, Thicke and Wayne were a great fit for each other, but this go round? We get rapper overload, with a weak verse from Kid Cudi on "Elevators," and the awful song from start to finish, "Meiple," featuring icon Jay-Z. I do enjoy the tribute to strong women everywhere, "Diamonds," feat. Game, despite my personal opinion that Game is one of the weakest rappers allowed in the game.

Overall, it's a decent album. Favorites include, "Just Right," "Mrs. Sexy," (featuring an Al Green sample) and "Sex Therapy," as well as the aforementioned "Diamonds" and "Shakin it for Daddy." I prefer the stripped down, true R&B records over the more hip-hop influenced ones; we get about half and half here. I understand artists are supposed to evolve, and while I appreciate that Robin is not trying to simply remake his most commercially successful album, "The Evolution of Robin Thicke," that album was his most personal, and therefore relate-able. With his trademark falsetto, he sang passionate and raw songs that expressed his struggle to find his way in the industry, his battles with self-doubt in terms of his career and even his relationships, and his efforts to even encourage himself to believe in things that seemed beyond his grasp. Other songs were fun without feeling forced.

Thicke's clearly not in the same 'starving artist' space anymore, so one can't expect the same topics, but after setting the bar so high, I had hoped to be more satiated with this album. I get less of his identity and more of a packaged image. And while I'm a die-hard fan of Thicke as an artist, musician and producer, I just want the next album to feel more authentic. Only include collabos that enhance the album. Just sing, Thicke, sing!

A is for Apple

Listen here, Good People:

My name is Driadonna. When most ppl hear it, the next thing they do is figure out a way to call me sumthin else. "What do they call you for short? Can I call you Donna? Dri? D?"

Um, the long answer is no. You can call me Driadonna. One of the most basic signs of respect is to address someone by his or her proper name. For all the people out here who claim to be intelligent, quite a few of them freak out when they come across a name with multiple syllables - in certain cases, I should say.

Why is it that when it comes to black people, others think it's OK to roll their eyes and call us by whatever name they choose. If my name were Mahmoud Ahmadenijad, I PROMISE you ppl would not say, "So, can I call you Ma?" No, they would extend the very basic and common courtesy of learning to pronounce it. If I had a name of Muslim descent, like Umar Mohammed Abdullah, or if I had a Russian or Polish name with like 20 consonants back to back and no vowels, folks would ask how to pronounce it properly. If I were French, with a name like D'Artagnan, people would say, "Oh, that's a beautiful name." And if I were Asian, with a name that might be short but still looks nothing like the way it should be pronounced, I guarantee you people would seek clarity and then address me the way I deserve to be addressed.

But it's only when your name is Driadonna, or LaQuanda, or DeMarious, that ppl dismiss it as being a "black" name...and tell you what a hard time you'll have finding a job, and all that.

I've been working at this one store for a month. At one point, I heard the manager refer to me as "that girl." Yesterday, I heard her ask another person what my name was. We've worked together at least 3 shifts. I've already done you a huge favor by chopping off HALF of it and allowing you to call me "Dria." Two syllables. Don't give me that excuse about, "Some ppl are bad with names." NO! Some ppl are just bad with respect. Not acknowledging what my parents chose to call me is your way of saying, "You are an insignificant person, not even valuable enough to have a proper name."

You know one fool even had the nerve to ask, "Do you like your name?" What kinda disrespectful, ignorant question is that!

However, black and Hispanic folk get lazy with it, too. Don't you dare do a double take at my name, when you have grown ppl in your hood that you call Peaches, Pookie, and Shaqwanna! Stop it, please.

In 2010, I'm not giving out any freebies. It's Driadonna. Sound it out, like you tell elementary school kids to do. It's not difficult at all. And if you'd like to be addressed by Becky, Sam, Tom, Kate or Brittany, then it's only fair that you extend the effort to return the favor. And I'm not just talking about my name. This is for all the Kamarias (love u lots) Ladreekas and Driadonnas everywhere who have to network in this world, but could do without the bias you exert when you choose to remember another person's name but immediately dismiss ours.

God gave Adam the authority to name every Good thing He had created.. It's an insult to throw your own label on there, or to disregard their titles.